Making it Better a Little
by LMSharp
Summary: It was late November, 1981, and a shabby young man with the saddest expression Thea had ever seen walked into Mel's Cafe and sat at Table Seven.
1. The Man at Table Seven

**Disclaimer: I own Thea, Mel's Café, and all the patrons and workers therein save Remus Lupin. Because he's there you get the café and the OC's for free, and I claim neither credit nor compensation for this story. J.K. Rowling gets it. You're welcome to it, Ms. Rowling.**

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><p>The Man at Table Seven<p>

"Will you close up, Thea dear?" Whit asked Thea about half an hour before the shift was due to end. She looked apprehensive. "I wouldn't ask, but it doesn't look like anyone else will come in tonight, and Carl's alone with the baby, and you know how useless men are with things like that, love. I don't normally take this shift for just that reason…"

She would have gone on, but Thea cut her off, smiling. "It's no trouble, Whit, don't worry. Go. Save the baby from that useless Carl. I can handle things here."

Whit's eyes brightened, and she calmed down. She seized both of Thea's hands in hers and kissed her on the cheek. "Oh, darling, you're a gem!" she cried. "A real lifesaver, honestly! Thanks!" She grabbed her purse from under the counter, and disappeared into the kitchen and out the back door of Mel's café, the restaurant where they both worked.

Thea didn't resent her for it. Whitney Blake had a husband and a seven-month-old daughter to get to, and it was true, she _didn't_ normally work the night shift. Thea did. She usually volunteered to work late on the weekends, after her homework was done for the next week at university, after the crowds and even the cook crew had departed from Mel's. Thea had never been fond of crowds. Whit's chatter actually annoyed her whenever they were scheduled together. But working in an empty café late at night was still far more cheerful than sitting up in her cheap, dreary apartment with Larry the Goldfish.

Thea looked over the café's dining room. The old couple at Table Twelve had just left. They were regulars. Thea smiled and got the bin and the rag to go bus the table. Mr. Morris had left her a very nice tip. She tucked it into her apron pocket and began to clean off the scraps they'd left, humming an old Beatles song to herself quietly. That was another reason she preferred to work the lonely night shift. In her apartment people banged on walls anytime she raised her voice to sing, and Mr. Foster, her boss, had gotten onto her for singing while she worked at busier hours. No one really minded this late at night.

Well, she thought no one minded. She eyed the single customer left in the café. He was a newbie. Whit had bought him his sandwich and crisps right before she'd left. He was watching Thea now, the man at Table Seven.

"Sorry, sir," she said. "Does it bother you?"

"Your singing?" he said, apparently surprised to be addressed. "No. I don't mind." His voice was quiet, and pleasant in tone, if a little husky. "You have a nice voice," he added. Then he looked back down at his book. Thea finished wiping down Table Twelve and smiled to herself. She went back to the kitchen to put the dishes in the sink to wash later. She got down the broom and dustbin and returned to the front.

As she swept, she surreptitiously watched the man at Table Seven. He was an interesting one, she thought. One nice thing about working in a café like Mel's, Thea thought, was the number of interesting specimens of humanity she saw every day. Though she wasn't particularly fond of society, Thea had always liked to people-watch.

The man at Table Seven obviously wasn't very well-off. To Thea's experienced eye, the clothes he wore looked second-hand, maybe third-hand, and about ten years out of date. He carried it off well, she thought. They matched, and he didn't look awkward in them. At any rate he definitely wasn't a bum.

They did sometimes get those at Mel's. When they came in on her shift, Thea sometimes offered them a sandwich, if they'd help her to do the dishes. It was a policy she'd mentioned to Mr. Foster and his wife and they'd approved of.

Thea wondered if the man at Table Seven had ever been a bum, or if he would be one in a few months. She decided he probably hadn't ever been a bum before, though she wouldn't answer for his future status. He looked tired, but not hard like all those that lived on the street or had lived on the street did. But furthermore, he was so very, very young. At least, she thought he was. The fact that she couldn't determine his age was actually what had made Thea decide he was interesting in the first place. She was usually very good at that.

His clothes, his bearing, his face all suggested that the man at Table Seven was no more than two years older than herself, if that. But nevertheless his face _was_ lined, and he looked so _very_ tired. Sad, too, Thea noticed. He looked so sad he could be middle-aged, much sadder than she'd ever seen any young man of twenty-one look before. As she swept the last bits of dust and food-crumbs into the dustbin, she decided to talk to him.

"Sorry Whitney walked out on you, mate," she said casually. "Apparently Carl's useless with the baby."

The man looked up, confused. Thea gave a comic little shrug, indicating she didn't understand it any more than he did. "I'm Thea," she told him. "You'll find I'm just as quick to get a cup of tea as she is. Do you need anything?"

The young man looked down at his nearly empty plate. "No, I don't think so," he said quietly. He looked around at the deserted café and then at the broom in Thea's hand. "I beg your pardon," he said. "It's just you, isn't it? Are you trying to close?"

Thea shook her head. "I'm in no hurry, sir," she told him. "I've nothing better to do at home like Whitney. To tell the truth, I'd just as soon be here as anywhere else."

The man gave a bitter little smile. "That makes two of us…Thea, was it?" Thea nodded. "It's been nice just to sit here and rest a bit," he said.

"Stay as long as you want then," Thea offered. "I'll just be in the back doing dishes. You're not going to run off or anything, are you?" She framed the words as a joke, but the man answered seriously.

"Not tonight."

"Right then. Just yell if you need anything."

Thea went to the back and started to rinse the dishes Clyde and Erin hadn't already tended to before they left earlier. As she worked, she sang some more- some of the arias she'd learned a few years back before she'd finally given up voice to pursue Literature full time. She wondered what book the Table Seven man was reading back in the Dining Room- if she'd read it or if it was any good. She wondered, more, what he'd been doing that made him so tired and so glad of a rest. She realised that without knowing it, she had switched to a sadder song about things lost and not regained, and she shrugged, drying the last plate and placing it on the rack. She tended to do that: to switch tunes according to the thoughts in her head. It was almost like speaking another language.

Thea began heating water for a cup of tea. She put in the bag once the water had heated, and breathed deeply of the peppermint steam. She felt her nose clear and her brain open up. She'd never liked regular black tea, but she had to confess a terrible weakness for the peppermint herbal variety.

She walked back out to the dining room and up to the sign at the door. She flicked the neon 'Open' light off. She then walked back to the counter and leant up against it, sipping her tea.

She sat there a while before the man at Table Seven looked up at her. "You must be tired," he said. "Thank you for letting me stay." He closed his book, and Thea caught a glimpse of the cover. It had a cauldron of all things on it. Thea thought for a moment she had seen the spoon in it move, but then the man had turned it over.

"Like I said, it's no trouble at all," Thea said. "Do you mind?" She gestured at the chair across from him.

The man shook his head. "Please."

Thea sat down. "You have a name?"

"Remus Lupin," he said, offering his hand. Thea shook it. Remus Lupin's grip was strong, Thea thought approvingly, but his hand was cold. Very cold.

She raised an eyebrow. "Remus," she repeated, rolling the word around on her tongue. "That's interesting. Like the story? Romulus and his brother Remus, raised by the she-wolf before the founding of Rome?"

Remus blinked. "Not many people know about that," he said.

Thea shrugged. "I read more than I sing," she said. Remus' lips twitched in understanding.

"You're a student?"

"Yes, sir. I'm working here at Mel's to pay my way. It's a common enough thing. What about you, sir?"

Remus shrugged then, looking slightly embarrassed. "I've done a bit of everything, I guess," he said quietly. "Right now I'm in between jobs. But I try to teach myself anything I can in the meantime."

Thea nodded, sipping her tea. They sat there in silence for a while, and then Remus looked at his watch. "It's near eleven," he said. "You did say it was just us?"

"Yes, sir," Thea answered, wondering what he was getting at.

Remus Lupin frowned. "You need to get home," he told her.

Thea was slightly annoyed. "I said I didn't."

Remus shook his head. "It's late for anyone to be out, let alone a young lady by herself."

The frowned. "I can take care of myself," she said firmly.

Remus Lupin looked up and directly at Thea, meeting her gaze for the first time that night. Thea bit back what she had been about to say about sexism. She didn't think he was speaking out of sexism, somehow. The man looked like he'd been spending weeks of nights lying awake, grieving over some great sorrow. His amber stare held her, and he said now in the quietest tone he'd used yet, "Maybe you can." Thea heard every word as clearly as if he'd been shouting. "But London at eleven isn't a place for anyone to be out alone, as I said. Not now." Thea got the feeling he spoke from experience. Then Remus Lupin reached into his back pocket and withdrew a cracking leather wallet. He pulled out a few crumpled bills, and some coins. He took longer counting them than usual, but eventually he pressed the money into Thea's hand.

He looked at the bill Whit had left on the table. "That's how much I owe, isn't it?" he asked, like he didn't know. Thea looked at the figure, and then counted the money. She wondered at it, for he was one of the few people she had ever met that had used exact change.

"That's exactly how much you owe," she said dumbly.

"Oh, good," he said, seemingly relieved. "Good night then, Thea." He stood, grabbed his book, and headed for the door. "Thank you. And honestly, be careful."

Thea stared at him. "Sure, Mr. Lupin," she said. He left, and Thea began to clean up.

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><p><strong>AN: Okay, before you start calling Remus is out of character, I have several excuses. 1) He's twenty-one years old, neither fifteen nor in his mid-thirties. Time changes a person. 2) He's in the Muggle world. 3) He has JUST (we're talking in the last few weeks) lost James, Lily, and (he thinks) Peter, and seen his other best friend carted off to jail for betraying and/or killing them all. THAT will affect a person's demeanor, too. **

**The next item of interest is of course where the story is heading. Don't worry that I'm going to make this a romance. Remus isn't up for a romance, as broken as he is right now, especially with a Muggle girl that doesn't have the faintest idea what he's been through and can't possibly begin to know. (Though I'd like to point out that RemusxTonks can hardly be considered sacred at this point in time as Tonks is twelve or thirteen-ish). Thea WILL be a friend to Remus, for a little while. The story will follow Remus and Thea through about a year directly after the end of the first Wizarding World against Voldemort. **

**Please, tell me what you think, taking the above into account, of course. Honest, thoughtful, constructive criticism is always welcome. Honest, thoughtful praise makes my day. **

**God Bless,**

**LMSharp **


	2. Just a Cup of Tea

**Disclaimer: Good ol' J.K., queen of the Harry Potter-verse. To her be the honour, and the glory, and the cash.**

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><p>Just a Cup of Tea<p>

Thea had just about had it with the losers at Table Four. She was on the verge of kicking them out of Mel's even if the restaurant ended up losing the rich businessmen's sons as patrons. There were only so many innuendos a girl could take.

She was working the late weekend shift again, but this time the café had been busy. They always were, around the holidays, what with the shoppers out late trying to find a bite to eat. There were still three tables with customers, and Erin and Clyde were still there, not to mention her shift-mate, Bernie. She was hoping things quieted down soon. Table Four was just about finished. Thea crossed her fingers and hoped they left.

The woman and her teenage daughter at Table Five were just now getting up. Bernie was coming back carrying their empty plates. "Bernie, I'll bus Five," Thea promised in an undertone. "Please, please, will you bill Four for me and see them out?"

Bernie winced in sympathy. "Are they giving you a hard time again?"

Thea grimaced. "I'd call it more harassment." Bernie made a face and went to take the plates to Erin and Clyde.

The bell rang as another customer entered. Thea bit back a groan and looked. Then she stopped. It was that man again- the one from Table Seven three weeks back. He sat down in the exact same spot he'd sat in then. Thea found it hard to resent _his_ patronage, actually. "Actually, Bernie," she said. "I'll bus Five and wait on Seven." Bernie, back from the kitchen, looked.

"Mr. Shabby-Tweed and sad expression?" he asked in a low voice. "Be my guest, Ramora. He doesn't look like much of a tipper, and I've Ashley's Christmas present to buy yet. I'll take Four."

"Thanks, Bernie," Thea said, smiling at him. She took up her notepad and went over to Seven. Bernie crossed behind her with the bill for Four. "Hey," she said. "I remember you. Three weeks ago, right?"

The man looked up and gave a slight smile. "That's right."

"What brings you around here again tonight?"

"A really excellent cup of tea, actually," he said. Then he paused. "I'm sorry, I remember you, too, but I can't seem to recall…"

"Thea," said the same, rescuing him. "Thea Ramora. You're Remus Lupin, right?"

"Right again," said Remus, smiling a little bigger. Thea noted that he had a very nice smile.

"Welcome back. Anything besides the tea?"

"Not tonight, thanks," Remus Lupin said, looking slightly embarrassed. They both knew he could've gone to a coffee shop or a street stand for that.

"I'll have that right out to you then, sir."

"Hey, hey, baby!" called the idiots at Table Four. "What's with the Loser? Come back over here and talk to us!" Thea wasn't sure if 'Loser' referred to Bernie or to the man behind her.

"Are they talking to you?" Remus asked, frowning slightly.

Thea looked over at Table Four. They cheered. One catcalled loudly. Thea saw the little family at Table One looking annoyed. "Not like that they're not," she muttered to Remus, stalking over. Greg, the most boorish of the idiots, leered.

"Hey, sweet thing," he said. "Where's my dessert?"

"Sir, you didn't order any dessert," Thea said coldly.

Greg licked his lips and eyed her up and down. Thea's skin crawled."Sure I did," he said. "Why, look, here it is now!" A few of his groupies guffawed stupidly.

"I don't care for your tone," Thea said quietly, fighting to control her anger. "You've had your supper. Would you like to pay your bill?"

Greg rolled his eyes. "Sure, sure," he said.

"Bernie will collect when he comes back then," Thea said. "Until then, if you would, keep your voice down. There are other customers trying to eat." She gave a curt nod. "Good evening, sir."

Greg scowled, finally appreciating the very obvious fact that his advances weren't welcomed. "Uppity little…" he muttered.

Thea walked away, not caring to hear any more.

"Table Seven wants a tea, Erin," she called back to the kitchen.

"No problem, Thea," Erin called back.

Bernie came back in short order carrying the money from Table Four. He tucked it into the registry, jerking his head back at the dining room. "Check it out," he murmured.

The idiots were leaving, and Remus Lupin had risen to meet them. He said something to Greg, too low to hear. Thea saw Greg retort angrily and shoulder past Remus Lupin. Several of Greg's friends glared at Remus as they passed, but Remus looked back at them impassively, though he had to weigh thirty pounds less than the smallest of them.

"I think you got yourself a friend, Ramora," Bernie said. "He's not much though, is he?"

"He's alright," Thea said defensively.

"Tea's ready," Erin called, sliding the mug professionally through the window so that not a drop spilled.

"Thanks, Erin," she called back. With a scornful glance at the grinning Bernie, Thea took out Remus' tea.

"Here you go, mate," she said. She lowered her voice. "Look, you didn't have to say anything to the apes back there."

Remus Lupin shrugged, not looking at her. "I know," he said in his quiet way. Thea felt her cheeks warm up and turned away.

"Yell if you need anything," she said.

Remus nodded and opened his book. It looked like some kind of textbook this time thought Thea didn't know what sort of subject Advanced Transfiguration might be. She saw several people had scrawled in the margins and wondered where he'd gotten the copy. She left him.

In truth, Remus Lupin _wasn't_ much, Thea reflected. But she wasn't entirely sure it was his fault. She figured if he ate right for a month or so and got some proper clothes he might be rather good looking. He was tall, and had an intelligent, kind-looking face. His amber eyes and thick light brown hair were very attractive. But he was so thin, and pale, and tired looking it cancelled out most of his assets. He looked like a breeze might blow him away. And he still looked so miserable Thea didn't wonder that Bernie had dismissed him so easily.

Still, she felt protective. Remus Lupin wasn't the only one that didn't make the most of his looks. Thea knew she didn't, either. Bernie, Whit, and Erin had all told her before. It was hard, though, to find clothes in her budget to fit her tall, curvy frame without making her look fat at all. It was a pity everyone had regressed to the twenties again and wanted to be as flat and boyish as possible, she thought. But she would have had problems anyway. She tended to put layers between herself and everyone else, like hats and glasses she didn't really need. She always had. She didn't really know why. She never did anything with her hair, and the thick, curly brown stuff stuck out every which way, even when she put it back. Still, she knew she could be considered an attractive girl.

She scowled. As if looks were important. She wished people judged more often on personality. Normally she wished it just for herself. Tonight, she found herself wishing it for Remus Lupin, too. She retrieved the bin and rag to go bus Five like she'd promised. Over near the door she saw the customers at One paying up. She looked at her watch. A quarter to ten. Erin and Clyde would be heading out soon, then.

She wiped the table down rhythmically, trying to come up with a tune that fit her current disgruntled state of mind. She hummed a few snatches. A few tables away, she saw Remus Lupin cock an eyebrow at her over his book. She smiled at him wearily.

She took the equipment back to the kitchen. Clyde was just hanging up his apron and hat. Erin had already gotten rid of them. "Well, Thea, I think that's just about everyone. We've cleaned up back here. See you Tuesday?"

Thea nodded. "See you Tuesday. Good evening, Clyde."

"Good evening, Thea," he said.

The two of them left, and Bernie came in. He leaned against the door frame. "Well. Everyone's out of here but Table Seven. I've turned the sign off. D'you think he'll be leaving soon?"

"Table Seven?" Thea shrugged. "He came in three weeks ago. It was just me that night- Whit had to go see to the baby. I let him stay 'til eleven. He looked like he could use a break then."

"All he's got is a cup of tea now," Bernie pointed out. "You _would_ let him stay, though. I've got to get home to Ashley. Are you _sure _you don't want to come out with us next Friday? Ashley has a friend…"

Thea scowled. "No, Bernie. I'm not interested in a set-up with some random friend of your girlfriend's. No. Thank you, but no."

Bernie rolled his eyes. "I'm just trying to help, Ramora. You could have a life, you know. You should try it sometime. You might find out it's not that bad."

"And maybe I'm doomed to be a spinster and would shrivel up like a vampire in the sun if I ever had anything even approximating a date," she shot back.

Bernie tilted his head. "Wait…never?"

Thea sighed. "Never."

Bernie was silenced. He looked at her in wonder, and then shook his head. "You said you let Seven stay last time? You think you can handle him this time? It _is_ ten o' clock."

Thea nodded. "Seven's nice enough. I might make myself a cup of tea and go talk with him, actually. I did last time."

Bernie snorted. "No, you aren't interested in a set-up," he said sarcastically, "But you'll go bother some bum customer after hours. Typical." He took off his apron, and hugged Thea roughly. "Good night, then."

"Tell Ashley I said hello."

Bernie left, and Thea sighed. Alone at last. Well, except for Remus Lupin at Table Seven. But Thea had only met him once and she knew he wouldn't bother her at all. She went out with the broom and dustbin and began sweeping.

"They're gone again, aren't they?" Remus asked after a moment. "I saw the waiter turn off the sign," he added.

Thea nodded. After a moment she let out a small, frustrated noise. "Mr. Lupin, sometimes it's good just to be alone!" Remus closed his book and made to get his wallet, but she stopped him. "I don't mind you. You're no trouble, really. It's Bernie. The waiter. And those idiots earlier. And just…just everything!" Her broom strokes were vicious across the floor. The crumbs rolled past the dustbin a few feet. Thea sighed, and swept more gently.

Remus relaxed. "Bad day?" he asked.

Thea shook her head. "Not really," she said, more quietly. "Not really bad. I'm sorry, Mr. Lupin. I didn't mean to unload on you or anything."

"I don't mind," Remus said. "I don't blame you being angry about those idiots earlier. I can't imagine being a waitress." He grimaced. "I like to say that I've done a bit of everything, but I've never yet waited tables."

"It's really not that bad, not here," Thea assured him. "Mr. Foster and his wife are very kind. And most of the customers are long-term patrons, and polite. But every now and then there is a total Neanderthal. But on the whole it's not bad. I shouldn't complain." She gave a short, humorless laugh. "Especially to the customers."

Remus shrugged. "Who am I going to tell? Besides, everyone needs to let off steam every now and again, at least in my experience." And for a moment, his face fell and he looked more skeletal and miserable than ever.

"Thanks," Thea said, not commenting on it. It wasn't her place to pry. She swept the last bit up and returned to the kitchen. There, she heated the water again and hung up her apron. But instead of getting a mug for her tea she got one of the portable paper cups, so that she wouldn't have to wash more than one when Remus left.

When the peppermint tea was steaming in the cup, Thea walked back out and sat down without a word across from Remus again. She stared at the cup in her hands, content for a while just to be silent with him.

But eventually, he asked, "So what's up with Bernie the Waiter?"

Thea shifted uncomfortably. Remus seemed to realise he'd trespassed upon a sensitive topic. "If you don't want to tell me, it's fine," he said hastily. "It's really not of my business."

Thea looked up at him to discover he was looking at her, instead of down at the table like he normally did. She smiled wearily. "No. It's just, Bernie just moved in with his girlfriend a month back. He's so dizzy with happiness that he's trying to find true love for everyone. Courtney, Erin, Clyde," she lowered her voice. "Me. I've told him more than once to leave well enough alone."

Remus nodded slowly. "It seems to me that love should be the sort of thing you have to find yourself," he said quietly. "It's like a quest, or an adventure."

Thea's mouth quirked. "Yeah, and anyone Bernie sets me up with isn't going to be my type at all."

"That's a problem, too," Remus conceded.

Thea sat her chin upon her hands. "So what are you doing here all alone on Saturday night, Remus Lupin? You could be home with a pretty girl like Bernie. Or out with friends? What brings you here, besides a really excellent cup of tea?"

Remus looked down. He reached into his pocket, pulled out his wallet, and put a crumpled bill and some change on the table. "That should be what I owe," he said quietly.

He stood and walked to the door. It had started to snow outside. Thea looked at him, bewildered. "Mr. Lupin, did I say something?"

Remus' mouth twisted. "They're all gone," he whispered. Then he turned, and walked out.

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><p><strong>AN: Please, tell me what you think. I'm not sure what to think of my 21 year old grief-stricken Remus, or how I've done with my university girl OC. I shouldn't need your opinions to make up my own mind, but I ask for them anyway. Review!**

**God Bless,**

**LMSharp**


	3. A Sandwich and a Handshake

**Disclaimer: Wizards weren't J.K. Rowling's idea. But Remus Lupin was.**

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><p>A Sandwich and a Handshake<p>

"Hey, Ramora," Bernie said as Thea came out of the kitchen from taking the last of Table Six' plates to Erin and Clyde.

"Yeah, Bernie?"

"Mr. Shabby-Clothes-and-Sad-Expression is back at Table Seven. Wants a tea." Bernie smirked. "He looked kind of disappointed to see _me_."

Thea cocked her head and looked out. Sure enough, Remus Lupin was sitting out there in the same place he'd sat the previous two times he'd been to Mel's. "Remus Lupin," she murmured. "What do you know? I didn't think he'd be back after last time. He went off in a hurry. But it's only been two weeks!"

"Remus Lupin, huh?" Bernie asked. "You want to bring him his tea?"

Thea looked around. Everyone except the couple she was serving at Table Two had cleared out, and they were expecting her bill. "No," she said. "I have to take care of Two. But if he stays I might say hello. He stayed a while the last couple times."

She bore the bill to Table Two. She saw Remus Lupin's head go up as she passed, and she nodded briefly. The couple at Two paid, leaving a nice tip, and Thea began to clear their dishes.

She checked her watch. "Yep," she said under her breath. "Quarter to ten. He _does_ like to come late."

Erin and Clyde were leaving again. "Bernie just took Seven his tea," Clyde said. "See you next week?"

"Right," Thea said. "Have a good night, both of you."

As soon as they walked out the door Thea got down two plates and took out some bread. She began filling one with chicken and lettuce- her favourite, but had to consider a moment before making the other. Bernie came in then, and raised an eyebrow. "Hungry, Ramora?"

"Well I haven't had supper yet," she said. "So, yeah, I'd say so. You like roast beef?"

Bernie smirked. "Nice try. You know I ate at eight this evening. Go ahead and take it to him, Ramora. I won't tell. You're right, he is nice. Said thank you and asked me about my day when I brought him his tea. _No one_ does that. Everyone else acts like we don't even exist. "He shook his head wonderingly. "Besides, he looks like he could use a good meal or five."

Thea frowned and turned towards Bernie, worried. "He does," she said. "He did the last couple times, too, and it's only gotten worse."

"You're so motherly, Thea," Bernie said. "Saving the world, one bum at a time." But his tone was fond. "Go on. I'm out of here."

Thea consented to be hugged, and then she tipped a generous portion of crisps onto both plates and walked out into the deserted café dining room and straight to Table Seven.

"Hello, Mr. Lupin," she said, plunking the roast beef sandwich in front of him.

"Hello, Thea," he said cautiously. "I…I didn't order a roast beef sandwich."

"It's on the house," she said.

His eyes widened. "I…I couldn't…"

"Just eat it, Mr. Lupin," Thea said. "Look, I'm having one, too. You can keep me company. I'm half-starved. I'd feel like a pig eating alone. You'd be doing me a favor, really."

Remus gave a little hesitant half smile. "In that case how can I refuse," he said, amused.

"Exactly," Thea said, taking an enormous bite of chicken sandwich. She looked down at her plate and pretended not to see Remus eating quickly, taking huge, wolf-like bites, like he hadn't eaten in days.

After a while, Thea spoke up. "I'm glad to see you, Mr. Lupin. Last time, I thought I'd offended you. I wanted to apologize for prying."

Remus looked up at her. "Actually that's part of the reason I came. I'd hoped you'd be here so _I_ could apologize. After all, I'd been asking you questions. You were just making conversation. You had no idea."

_About what_, Thea wondered, but she wasn't quite stupid enough to ask. "So, has Bernie lightened up?" Remus asked after a short, awkward pause.

"A little," Thea said. "He and Ashley got into a fight last week, so I'm hopeful the honeymoon phase is ending and the rest of us might get some peace. Erin went off at him the other day." She chuckled. "Usually I'm pretty nice about it."

"And the idiots from the table over there?"

"They haven't been back," Thea said in satisfaction. "I don't know what you said to them; they usually come two or three times a week. But they haven't been by once since the last time you were here."

Remus looked slightly pleased with himself. "Good," he said simply.

Thea shook her head at him. "And you're still going to be all mysterious about what you said to them, aren't you? " She laughed a little. "You're good at the whole man-of-mystery thing, Mr. Lupin."

"Calling me 'sir' and 'Mr. Lupin' does nothing to reduce my mystique," Remus retorted. "I don't call you Ms. Ramora, do I?"

"You're the customer," Thea said.

Remus looked down at his plate pointedly. Thea blushed. "Call me Remus," he said. "Mr. Lupin makes me feel old, and I can't imagine I'm more than two or three years older than you are. What are you, anyway, eighteen?"

"Nineteen," Thea said. "I know I look a little young. But two or three years, really? How old are you?" She tried to mask how curious she was. She really had been unable to make up her mind since she'd first met Remus five weeks ago.

"Twenty-one," he replied.

"If I look a little young, you look a little old," Thea observed. "I would've guessed maybe twenty-five."

Remus made a face. "Really? Twenty-five?"

"I wasn't sure," Thea defended herself, popping a crisp into her mouth. "So. What've you been doing these past two weeks, Remus?" She stressed his name, pleased at their new first-name status.

Remus grimaced, and Thea was slightly disappointed. She'd thought she'd been doing a decent job at putting him at ease. But he answered, so that was something. "Job hunting still," he said wearily.

Thea frowned, thinking how much that explained about his reluctance to order more than tea and his ever-decreasing girth. "Where are you looking?" she asked.

"Here and there," he said, looking away.

"You said you can do just about anything?"

"That's right."

Thea thought a moment. Then she grabbed a napkin off the table. She felt for her apron pocket and grabbed her pen. "If we had an opening, I'd mention it to Mr. Foster," she said, tucking an escaping curl behind her ear again. "You could try waiting tables. As it is, we don't, but I've seen a few signs. Thelman and Russ is looking for a secretary, and that health food store down on Third wants a clerk." She jotted down the addresses quickly, and then paused. She tapped the pen against her cheek and looked hard at Remus. Then she added a third address to the list. "That's the children's library at the university," she said. "My friend Ms. Austin is head librarian there, and she's always looking for some help. I like you, Remus, or I wouldn't mention it. She's a family friend. She's the sole reason I survived those first few years of high school." Thea slid the napkin across to Remus. "If you apply there, tell her to give me a call. I'll vouch for you, and she'll be fair."

Remus was staring at her. "You don't even know me," he said quietly, but not at all angrily. "You'd really do that?"

Thea shifted, and ate another crisp. "Sure. Like I said, I like you. You're nice. Any other fellow would've probably told me off ages ago for singing nonstop and coming to bother his table." She snorted. "I might've told any other fellow to clear off at ten."

Remus smiled slowly: a big, real smile. It was a wonderful thing to see, like the sun had broken out across his entire face. His cheeks filled out, his eyes brightened, and Thea couldn't help smiling back. It was natural to smile back when Remus smiled. More than that, Thea felt that it would be wrong not to. He stuck out his hand again, and Thea took it. "Thea Ramora," he said slowly. "You are something else. Shall we be friends?"

Thea bit her lip, touched. She nodded. Remus started to tuck the napkin into his coat. "Wait," Thea said.

She took up her pen again, and jotted down one last number on the list.

"Which one is that?" Remus asked.

Thea looked up at him. "Mine," she said. Remus nodded, and gently took the pen from her fingers. He circled her number on the list, and put it inside his coat.

He looked up. "So. What do you study at University?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: These first three chapters came pretty easily, but I am struggling very much with the next three. As Thea and Remus get to know one another, it gets a lot more angsty, and I have to balance the fact that Thea's a Muggle against the facts that everyone in London noticed the weird goings-on on November 1 (c'mon, Vernon DURSLEY noticed), everyone in ENGLAND knows about the Sirius Black explosion, and Thea's both open-minded and no idiot. Then you have Remus' natural secretive demeanor and the wizarding law to balance against the exceptions that are made in said law all the time (prime minister, Vernon and Dudley Dursley, parents of Muggleborns), and the fact that Remus is so VERY alone right now. I've written some exercises in this story's timeline from his POV, just to make sure I'm getting it, and you won't BELIEVE how messed up he is. Feeling he should be able to do something about Harry, guilty and angry he can't, grieving for James and Lily, angry at Peter for going after Sirius, unbelievably betrayed and furious at Sirius, feeling he should have known because of the Snape incident, unable quite to hate Sirius and wishing he could, the list goes ON. And of course against all that little Thea Ramora the Muggle university student waiting her tables is very small. But she's there, and she's solid, and I can't help thinking that Remus knows it'd be wrong to clutch at her, to use her as a shield against the dark, but he's going to try anyway. **

**Please, I have a basic idea where I'm going with this, but any suggestions you may have would be more than welcome. Review what I've written, and bear with me! I am trying very hard to deal with this honestly and plausibly. Thank you, and sorry for the long author's note**

**God Bless,**

**LMSharp**


	4. Washing Dishes

**Disclaimer: Thea and Mel's and other OCs are free, because they come with Rowling's character and plot attached and I can't charge for or claim something I've only borrowed, even if I've added to it.**

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><p>Washing Dishes<p>

Business was slow tonight, Thea grimaced. She was slow. She was so bored she was moving like a tortoise.

"And when he looks at me, his eyes just sparkle. Did I tell you what Chris said the other day? It was the cutest thing…" Thea tuned out again and Clyde chopped a carrot with particular viciousness. They didn't need the carrot. No one was here and it was already half past nine. But it was better than chopping up Erin's head. The teenager had gotten a new boyfriend three days ago, and she had not shut up all night long. Bernie was still pretending to listen to her, but Thea was about ready to beat her own head in with a soup ladle, and Clyde was looking downright murderous.

Thea stirred the soup of the day, a thick beef stew, mindlessly. She hoped someone else ate it after closing time, so it didn't go to waste and she didn't have to. Customers raved about Clyde's beef stew, but personally Thea didn't care for it. The bell rang at the door. Thea shot up, but Bernie beat her out the kitchen door. Thea followed him, hoping with all her might that the customer sat down at an even table and she could get out of the kitchen. He didn't. The man in the worn out trench coat and the shabby maroon-and-gold striped scarf sat down at Table Seven. Bernie's territory. But Thea smiled anyway. Bernie groaned, turning to face her, eyes pleading.

Thea shrugged magnanimously. "If you want to get away from the crazy teenager, be my guest," she said. "He's sitting at your table. But just know you were worse."

Bernie grimaced. "I wasn't!" he protested.

Thea was merciless. "You were. Anyway, he'll probably stay late and I can talk to him afterwards and get some intelligent conversation."

Bernie looked at Remus Lupin, and sighed. "First customer in half an hour and I'm going to give him up," he said. Remus looked up at them and waved at Thea. "We both know the reason Mr. Shabby's not looking so sad is because he's here to see you. But you owe me, Ramora." He pointed a finger at her face for emphasis. "Remember that. You owe me."

Thea grinned. "Thank you, Bernie," she said.

Bernie nodded miserably. "Do me a favor? When you get back with his order, split my head open with Clyde's cleaver?"

"And face Clyde's wrath over the mess I'd get on his shiny knife?" Thea gasped in horror. "Tell you what, though, he might forgive us if we split Erin's."

Bernie grinned in evil appreciation. "Might even help." He waved her off. "Go on, Ramora. Customer's waiting."

Thea grabbed her notebook out of her apron pocket. She was beginning to consider Table Seven to be Remus Lupin's table. As she approached she observed him. He looked healthier and a little happier than she'd seen him last two weeks ago. He smiled at her, putting aside that book he inevitably brought. It looked like some sort of almanac tonight, Thea thought, though there seemed to be a few too many planetary bodies on the cover before he hid it like he always did. She was glad to see him. "Hello, Remus."

"Nice to see you, Thea," he replied. "I got the job with your friend Ms. Austin at the library."

Thea nodded. "She called to tell me. You could've, too, you know."

Remus' face fell briefly for half a second, but then he pushed past whatever it was and simply said that he had wanted to thank her in person.

"According to Ms. Austin she's thanking you," Thea told him. "She told me that you're polite, efficient, and very well-read. Also said you're really good with the kids. She thanked me about three times for recommending you."

Thea grinned to see the pleased embarrassment on his face as she repeated his boss' praise of him. "I like Ms. Austin," he said. "She's a very sweet woman. I can see how she might have helped you through high school."

"She worked there, then," Thea explained. She frowned briefly. "'Bout the only good thing about that place. I volunteered to be her assistant for a semester when I was thirteen." She snorted. "I did more reading than actual work."

"So. What will you have?" Thea asked, getting out her pen and pad.

Remus looked at the blackboard by the door. "The soup of the day sounds good," he said. Thea nodded, pleased. Someone was going to eat it!

"I'll have it out to you in a bit, Remus," she said.

Thea returned to the kitchen. Clyde was taking off his hat, preparing to leave. He looked about as annoyed as Bernie felt. "Clyde, can we have one last soup of the day before you're out?" she asked. Grumpily, he nodded, returning to the soup pot.

"Oh," said Erin, "Do we have a customer, or are you just hungry?"

"There's a customer," Thea said. "I'm hungry, too, come to think of it. Maybe you could make me one of those awesome cheese-and-tomato sandwiches?" Erin's grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches were a specialty of Mel's. Erin nodded.

She checked her watch. "Then I suppose I better head out with Clyde," she murmured. "It's getting on ten o'clock." Erin turned to the stove top, and Bernie shot Thea an exaggerated look of relief behind her back. Thea held back a laugh.

"So are you guys both going to stay with the customer?" Erin asked. Here Bernie grinned.

"I have a feeling I'll get to go home to Ashley," Bernie said.

Thea shrugged. "If you want."

Clyde poured the soup out into a bowl and put in a spoon. It smelled delicious. It had been simmering for a few hours, now. Clyde sniffed at it with a pardonable pride.

"I'm going to head out, Thea, Erin, Bernie," he said. "See you next week." He scowled as he left, as if next week were much too soon.

"Thanks, Clyde," Thea called as he hung up his apron. He grunted, and walked away. "Poor Clyde," she chuckled. "I think being stuck in a kitchen with a love-struck fool and a hormonal teenager was more than that grumpy middle-aged bachelor could stand."

Erin stuck out her tongue over her shoulder, and Bernie grinned. Nevertheless in a moment, Erin handed over the sandwich plate, and took off her own apron. "Maybe if I hurry home, Chris will still be up. I'm going to call him," she said brightly, kissing Bernie on the cheek and hugging Thea.

"You do that," Thea said drily. Bernie saluted.

"I'm out, too," he said. "Have fun with Mr. Shabby!" Thea rolled her eyes.

"Whatever," she muttered. She took the sandwich and the soup out to Remus.

"Here you are, Remus," she said. He nodded. "They're gone again. There wasn't much to do tonight anyway."

"Thanks, Thea." Remus said.

They both began eating without a word. For a while they sat in companionable silence, until Remus said, "I find it tempting, too."

"What?"

"Reading, when I'm supposed to be working in the library." He looked rueful. "I've always liked children's stories."

"Really?" Thea gave an exaggerated sigh of relief. "I've always been the only adult I know that still reads them. Or-at least- the only one that admits to it. What's your favourite?"

Remus thought for a moment. "I must confess an enduring partiality to Sherlock Holmes," he said. "Though that's one that may be found in children's and adult's libraries alike, I first read it when I was about nine. What about you?"

Thea grinned sheepishly. "Peter Pan," she said. "I'll read Barrie over and over and over again. I had a friend once right before I left for University. She always used to tease me and say fairies weren't—"Thea nodded confidingly. "You know. I clapped every time."

Remus let out a little bark of surprised laughter. "That's-"

Thea grinned. "Mental, I know. So she told me."

"I was going to say that's adorable," Remus corrected. He looked thoughtfully at Thea. "Do you really believe, or do you just pretend to?"

If anyone else had asked a question like that Thea would have suspected they were making fun of her. But Remus asked it seriously, as if he really wanted to know. Thea thought a moment. "Believe in fairies, "she asked, mulling over her answer. "I don't know. I've certainly never seen one. And that breaking out of a baby's laugh thing is obviously a bit of pretty nonsense. But…there is this _feeling_ I get, whenever I read about fairies in the old stories. Or giants, or dragons, or monsters. The older you go, the more possible it feels, you know?" She shrugged, feeling rather self-conscious, but Remus only nodded for her to continue. "There are these weird similarities," she said, not looking at him. "You know, in worldwide myths and legends? They're all eerily alike when they talk about giants, witches, vampires, dragons, and yeah, fairies." Thea laughed rather nervously. "They pop up everywhere- from China to Africa to the North American Native tribes to here in Britain. It makes me think that it can't all be entirely fictitious. Or maybe that it wasn't, once upon a time and long, long ago."

Remus was staring at her. "Sounds crazy, right?"

He shook his head. "Actually, not at all. It isn't what a girl your age would normally be thinking, but it's far from crazy. I think it's incredibly arrogant of us when we count out things we haven't seen just as if we know everything."

Thea smiled, encouraged, and leaned forward. "Or are even capable of knowing everything," she added in excitement. "The way they go on sometimes in my science courses, it's like they think they can. It reminds me of my younger sister, Ginnifer."

Remus raised an eyebrow in polite confusion. "Does it?"

Thea shrugged. "Yeah. She's seventeen, and she thinks she knows just about everything. And I remember being like that, but now I've found so much more that I don't understand: so much that I don't think I'll ever understand it all, and fifty year olds I've met are even more clueless. It makes me think sometimes that the human race as a whole is just a bunch of teenagers."

Remus' face twisted briefly. "Done a lot of damage for a bunch of teenagers," he spat suddenly. Thea froze up, wondering what she'd said. But in a moment Remus had recovered himself. "Do you ever think," he said, seeming to digest his words with care, "That maybe it'll be better if we don't grow up? If we don't discover what else is out there? It might just give us the ability to be far more unpleasant characters than we are already."

"What do you mean?" Thea asked, finishing her sandwich.

"Say we return to fairies," he said slowly. "And giants and wizards and vampires and dragons. Say that things might actually be like they are in an old fairy tale or myth, out in some hidden corner on the planet, and humans haven't rediscovered them because we don't know enough yet."

"Yes," Thea said, wondering where he was going with this.

He scraped the bottom of his soup bowl with his spoon. "Have you ever come across one of the original Brothers Grimm stories in all your library perusing?" he asked in a controlled voice.

Thea grimaced. "They're gruesome, I know."

"What if they weren't far wrong?" Remus suggested. "What if all that magic we don't believe in because we haven't rediscovered them yet really is gruesome?" his words were calm, but his eyes weren't focused on Thea or on Mel's at all. They were off someplace else entirely, the place where Thea supposed he had gotten all that sorrow he carried around with him. "If there were giants and dragons, maybe it is best we don't know about them. They might not be nice at all."

"I daresay giants and dragons might not be," said Thea, amused. But Remus continued.

"And wizards and witches, too. Say magic existed, and we human beings discovered it again. It would just be a power like any other, wouldn't it? Like money, or strength, or intellect. The people that possessed it would still be people, they would only have more ability to hurt one another, don't you think? I've been trying to study some physics in my spare time," he said. "It seems to me that when human beings discovered more about how they operated all it did was enable them to kill far more efficiently, and that that opened up a whole new area of problems to solve and things we didn't know."

He lowered his voice, and now he was back in the room. "Maybe, if we found magic, we'd start to wish we hadn't." he murmured in a low voice. "Maybe it would just open up hundreds of new ways to be miserable, and thousands of questions. Maybe it is better not to believe in fairies, Thea," he said finally. "Because if you believe in fairies, you might discover magic, and find that just like everything else, it has a very dark side." He stared at his clenched fists. His jaw was tight. Thea could almost smell the anger and grief on him, but it was not directed at her. She wondered, more than ever, what he'd stumbled into that was too big for him. What was Remus Lupin's story? She had asked once, indirectly, but she dared not ask again.

He was silent for a long time. Thea thought for a moment he would leave. Then he shifted, and Thea held out her hands to take the money for his meal. He did hand it to her, in exact change as was usual for him. But when Thea slipped the money in her apron and stood to take his plate, Remus stood as well, and grabbed Thea's plate as well as his own empty bowl.

Thea was confused. "You know, this is a restaurant," she pointed out. "Unless you get a takeout box, you can't take the plates with you. I could get you one, if you like, but your soup's all gone."

Remus shrugged. "I thought about it after last time, and it occurred to me that you co-workers leave when you decide to stay behind late, and you end up stuck with the clean-up they'd have helped you with if you'd just left on time," he said quietly, balancing the bowl on the plate and sticking his book into his pocket. "I didn't think that was exactly fair. So-I can at least help you with the clean-up tonight."

Thea blinked at him. "You really don't have to," she said. "I don't mind handling it alone, really."

"I know," Remus said. "I'd like to help, anyway."

Thea regarded him for a moment, and then nodded. "Come on, then. I'll show you to the kitchen."

He followed her quietly to the kitchen, and, after putting Remus' money with the day's takings. Thea took up her place at the sink to wash her dish and Remus', and the last few plates from customers Erin had left in the sink. Remus handed the plate and bowl back to her and quietly took up the rag there for drying. "They go on the rack up over our heads?" he asked, pointing to it.

"Yeah," Thea said. Remus' happy mood earlier had fled, but Thea sensed that he was more grateful for her company than he'd been even when he'd waved and said he was glad to see her. She moved over to allow him room and began washing.

The silence was weighted; the man who stood beside her looked every bit as miserable as the man she'd met two months ago. Something had shifted. The silence oppressed Thea. With an effort, she broke it.

"Do you like working at the library?" she asked quietly.

"I do," he said. "The people that come in are polite and interesting, and though it's quiet, there's enough to do that I don't get left too often to my thoughts. There's something to be said for a load of basic tidying up, organization, and mindless daily tasks."

Thea looked at him, and Remus smiled. "Oh, I'm grateful, Thea," he clarified.

"It's just not what you wanted to do," she said.

Remus shook his head mutely. "But sometimes there's not a lot of choice," he said.

Thea shrugged. "It's like that here, too," she said. "I love Mr. Foster and his wife, and I like the people I work with. I meet a lot of interesting people. But waiting tables isn't exactly my dream job, either. It's not what I wake up for in the morning. But…"

"It's much better than sitting around starving with nothing to do but chase around thoughts in your skull," Remus said. His voice was harsh. Thea merely nodded.

"You were, weren't you?" she said. "Nearly starving, that is. I thought you were. You were using all the money to make rent?" She spoke calmly, but Remus started, as if he hadn't thought she'd take it so literally. He looked like he might run, or wouldn't say anything further, but then he nodded. "And that wasn't the awful part, was it?" Thea asked, even softer. "The awful part was sitting alone in that flat when your mind wouldn't shut up about all the things that are bothering you."

Remus shifted, and Thea washed a cup and handed it to him. "I'm not asking, Remus," she said.

He dried it, and hung it up on the rack with the others. "Don't," he said shortly.

"You should know, though," Thea said, forcing that same, casual tone and very pointedly not looking at him. "It's written all over you. The minute you walked in here you looked like you were just about ready to cry. Or throw something. Maybe both. "

"And what?" Remus ground out in a carefully controlled voice. But he'd paled, and his hands were shaking as he dried another bowl. "You felt sorry for me?"

Thea looked at him, then. "Frankly? Yes. But that's not why I started talking to you. I talked to you because you like to read, and you were nice about me singing. Why I gave you Ms. Austin's address, too, instead of just the other two."

Remus said, nothing, but he relaxed. Thea washed another plate. "You know," she said, "A couple times in my life, I've gotten these odd urges. Urges to climb up to the top of the English building and jump. Make some kind of point. Or to launch myself in front of a bus. It happened first when I was ten, and lasted until I was nearly thirteen. Then again about a year and a half ago. I started wondering who I was important to, really, and who would miss me when I was gone. I don't talk to people much, you know. They tend to be awkward around someone that goes around singing as much as I do, or something." Thea gave a little halfhearted smile. It was a bad joke. "I thought, what's the point? I'm barely making it from month to month, and I can't see how I'll ever get to where that's not the case. I thought, I can't see where I'm going, I don't like where I am, and I hate where I've been. And if tomorrow the sun rises, there's only another sunset and another tragedy waiting."

Remus turned, and faced her. "And is this supposed to make me feel better?" he demanded.

"It didn't for me when my mom committed suicide and I had to basically raise my sisters. I didn't again when I almost flunked out of school after graduating top of my class," Thea said. Remus' eyes widened.

"Thea, I had no…"

"Well, now you do. I told you," Thea said quietly. "Eventually, though, you learn. Right when I get home, before I start studying, or writing, or eat a meal, or go to bed, I think, 'Today I have food and I'm alive to enjoy it. Today there's a bed and I can sleep in it.' And you learn to consider that a success, and let the tomorrow that never comes and the darkness take care of themselves."

Thea found her hands clenching the last plate, though it was clean, tightly.

Remus grabbed its other edge. "Does it fix things, Thea?" He laughed bitterly.

Thea looked at him, right in the eye. "No," she said. "But it makes it so it doesn't rise up and overwhelm you all at once."

Remus held her gaze, and inclined his head once, ever so slightly. He prized the plate from her fingers, then, and dried it. "You don't know what you're talking about," he said quietly, "Though to be fair, I can't imagine my mother dying that way. You still don't know what you're talking about. But thank you. Thank you," he repeated. He placed the last dish on the shelf, and walked over to the bus-bin. He took the rag for wiping the tables, and tossed Thea the broom.

Thea made an attempt to catch it, but missed. The broom fell on her foot, hitting her shin as it crashed. Thea retrieved it, face burning, but Remus didn't laugh. He merely handed her the dustbin. "You sweep, I'll wipe," he said.

They worked in silence for a while. Remus was grim, Thea thoughtful as she tried to work out what she wanted to say. As they finished cleaning the dining room and stacking the chairs on top of the tables before lockup, Thea finally thought of it. He walked to the door in silence, and would have left, but she stopped him.

"Listen, Remus," she said. "Do you have some fatal disease?"

Remus was quiet for a moment. Thea at first was horrified, thinking he _did_, and now her encouragement was useless, but then he said, "No." He seemed torn between weariness and, oddly, some bitter amusement. "No. I'm not dying of any disease."

Thea jerked her head. "Alright then," she said. "Then your life's not over. It probably feels like it is. Maybe you've fantasized once or twice about jumping in front of a bus yourself. But don't. The days are getting longer already. Spring is coming, and one day you'll get up and be glad of it. There are good people to meet, and good places to go, and good things left that you can do. Whatever's happened, I can tell it was a tragedy. You won't be able to forget it. You won't ever be the same. But you will be able to live past it. Okay?" She held out her hand, challenging him.

Remus took it, and his eyes softened. "That still doesn't fix things," he informed her. "But…it makes it better. A little. A very little."

"I'll see you?" The words were a question.

"You'll see me," he promised. As he released her hand to go, Thea hoped she wasn't imagining that it felt a little warmer.

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><p><strong>AN: My word, I had trouble with this chapter! But in the end I'm VERY happy with how it turned out. I think I've written something true to both Thea's character and Remus', at the time. I might extend this story. I had a basic storyline for each chapter. There were going to be seven (I feel seven is an almost mandatory number for Harry Potter), taking them to around summer 1982. Now I feel there ought to be more, extending at least until November 1982, and possibly longer. I don't know exactly what to do with Thea in the end, though. **

**I can't in good conscience kill her off, nor make them have a fight. It would just be too cruel to Remus. But neither can I bring it all the way up to the nineties and the canon storyline. I'm getting a sense that she has to disappear. I'm considering marrying her to somebody, or having her move (Remus could always find her if **_**he**_** moved, but if she left and didn't tell him where she was going?). She could get hit with a Memory Charm in the end, too, and have to forget all about him and everything she learned. 'Cause that's pretty clear, too. She's gonna find out about something. She's too smart and open minded and attentive not to. At the very least she's going to have to realize he was friends with Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. **

**Anyway, whatever the difficulties, I'm excited about next chapter: the first that takes place outside of Mel's. Review, and tell me what you think!**

**God Bless, **

**LMSharp**


	5. Starlit Confessions

**Disclaimer: Remus Lupin, James and Lily Potter, and Peter Pettigrew weren't my ideas. Thea Ramora was. I hope I've been true to the characters I'm borrowing, and done well with the one I've originated.**

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><p>Starlit Confessions<p>

Thea stepped outside into the alleyway behind Mel's Café to lock the kitchen door. She shivered. It was a very cold night. It was around ten-fifteen, and Bernie had left not five minutes ago. Thea turned the key in the lock, put it back into her faded messenger bag, and drew her coat about her, preparing for the ten minute walk back to her flat.

Just then she heard footsteps at the alley entrance. Thea whirled around, hand flying back to her bag. A man stood there, framed in the streetlight at the alley entrance. He was alone, and he didn't look very thuggish, but Thea walked towards him slowly, prepared to use her bag as a weapon if need be. However, as she neared she made out his features, and she relaxed. "Remus! You scared me half to death!"

He held out his hands in that universal 'I-mean-you-no-harm' gesture. "I…I'm sorry. It's just me. I didn't mean to scare you." He paused, and looked down. "I didn't plan on coming," he muttered.

Thea had reached him by then. She stood there on the sidewalk in front of Mel's with him and regarded him, puzzled. The young man had been coming to Mel's for about two months now, every two or three weeks. By now he knew they closed at ten, particularly considering every time he'd been there, Thea had let him stay after closing. If she had been inside the café now, she would have told him to sit down at Table Seven and they would have had a talk. But this time she had already locked up. There was no point now that he was just showing up. Remus usually came about half an hour before closing time. She wondered what brought him tonight, so late, and only a week since he'd come last. "I wasn't expecting you," she said.

Remus seemed to be trying to look anywhere but at her. Thea noticed his clothes, usually shabby, tonight were also wrinkled, as if he'd just thrown them on. His hair hadn't been combed, and Thea couldn't quite tell in the light, but she thought he might need a shave. Finally, he sighed. "I couldn't sleep," he said in a low voice. "I got up out of bed, I put on clothes, and I started walking. Then I looked up, and I'd come here. And you've closed. I'm sorry," he repeated.

He looked embarrassed. Thea stared at him. Remus had looked grieved and burdened all the time she'd known him. He'd never told her much of anything that explained why, though she'd gathered enough to guess something terrible had happened to him, and recently. But in their conversations together he had maintained an almost rigid grip on his emotions. Tonight he seemed looser, like some control had slipped. The anger and grief and desperation she'd had to look to observe before were now plain on his face, even in the dim light. When Thea had battled with her bouts of depression, loss, and failure, she had had good days and bad days. She could tell that tonight was a bad night for Remus. He looked desperate, almost wild. He'd left to walk it out. And he'd come here. Had he been looking for her? Thea took a tentative step towards him.

"You know," she said softly, "Someone told me once that London's no place for anyone to walk alone at night." She paused. The last thing she wanted to do was to frighten or upset him. She liked Remus. He'd said he hadn't planned to come here, but he'd walked here anyway. But from there, there was no knowing whether he'd been subconsciously looking for her, or just for a cup of hot tea and some background noise. But they _were_ friends, of a sort. They were friendly. She'd helped him to find a job. He seemed to enjoy their talks. And now, she suspected he needed her. "Are you hungry?" she managed at last. "'Cause I know of a brilliant hamburger stand a few blocks down near the park. They're open twenty-four seven."

The embarrassment lifted from Remus' face, and Thea was relieved to see that she'd said the right thing. "Show me?" he asked.

"Sure." Thea started off. She was a bit cold, but she knew she wasn't as cold as Remus. His trench coat and scarf looked about as worn out as everything he usually wore. She didn't mention it, though. At any rate, she was far more interested in what was going on inside of his head than in the state of his clothes.

Thea wanted badly to know why Remus had woken up, taken a walk, and come to her, but the grieved, grim lines on his face, aging him beyond his twenty-one years, forbade comment. The nearest she'd seen him to _this_ mood was the second time they'd met. She had asked then. She'd asked after his friends. He'd replied simply that they were gone, and fairly ran from the café. Last week, too, he'd drawn near to the subject of what had hurt him so. He'd said enough for Thea to deduce that along with some pretty extreme hard times, Remus had sustained a major loss, and been very confused recently. He hadn't lost control, though.

Tonight he looked strange and dangerous, and about ready to break. Thea didn't want to be the one to break him. He walked in fast, impatient strides, and every now and then his fists would clench, or a hand would drag through his hair, standing the thick shocks on end.

He gave a short, humorless, bark of a laugh after they had walked for about three minutes in quiet, Thea shooting alarmed glances at him periodically. "I suppose I must seem insane to you, Thea Ramora," he said in a low, self-mocking voice. "Man gets up in the middle of the night, and comes to see you without pressing his clothes or even combing his hair." He laughed again. "I actually think my sweater is on backwards. And now that I'm here, I'm not saying a blame thing, am I? You must think I'm mad. Maybe I am."

Thea wasn't sure if she was relieved or more nervous than ever now that he'd started talking. "I don't think you're mad," she managed lamely. "What you say or don't say is your business, Remus." She hazarded another glance up at him. His eyes were bright in the lamplight, not looking at her. "But…would it make you feel better _to_ talk?" she asked, hesitantly.

"To you?" Remus asked, eyes darting to her. He shook his head. "What do you know, Thea? Nothing." The words were dismissive, but there was kindness behind them. "Better that way, believe me."

"But you're still here," Thea pointed out. Remus sighed.

"I am still here," he agreed, "Though I don't know why."

Thea bit her lip, thinking. Then, slowly, she reached across the empty space and took Remus' gloved hand in her own, squeezing slightly. "I'm here, too," she told him. Thea caught a flash of something in Remus' eyes as they passed a streetlamp, but then it was gone. But she felt his gait regulate, and saw him straighten. She thought she felt him fill with a new kind of energy. She no longer feared that he'd explode, but for some reason she didn't think she'd said quite the right thing this time.

"The hamburger stand is just up here," she muttered, indicating a little stand brightly lit with pink and green neon just a block ahead, across from the park.

Remus nodded. They walked the block in silence. Thea walked right up to the stand. "One cheeseburger, please," she said, "Lettuce, pickles, tomato, and catsup."

Remus spoke then. "Make mine very rare," he instructed the greasy, short attendant. "And plain and dry, please. I've got the tab." The man grunted and turned to make the burgers.

Thea turned to him. "I can get mine, Remus," she said, softly enough so the burger stand man couldn't hear.

He shook his head. "I got paid this week," he explained. Thea crossed her arms.

"Remus…"

"Please," he said. "Please let me do this much for you."

Thea raised an eyebrow. The man had admitted only the week before to being near starving recently. But he looked back at her, steadily and silently insistent. "Is it important to you?" she asked finally.

He only nodded. Thea sighed. "Alright, then," she said. "But next time I'm getting my own." She realised she didn't know if there would be a next time, if he would seek her out again or if they'd ever meet again in any other place beside the café, but Remus didn't contradict or agree with her.

Fortunately, when the attendant gave them their burgers the bill turned out to be more than affordable. Remus handed over the money, and Thea nodded at the greasy man. "Thank you, Mr.—"

"Gerald," he grunted. "Just Gerald."

"Have a good evening, then, Gerald," she said.

A surprised sort of smile spread across Gerald's homely features. Thea supposed he didn't get thanks and good evenings often. She didn't, as a waitress. Remus repeated her farewell, and Thea waved her burger at the man as they turned away. Remus bit into his burger and chewed thoughtfully.

"You're right," he said after a moment. "Good stuff, this."

"I did say it was," Thea replied, turning to go back the way they'd came, towards Mel's and her apartment, but Remus shook his head.

"Not that way," he said. "I don't really fancy going home just yet, if you don't mind. Could we maybe walk in the park for a bit?"

Thea checked her watch. "It's near ten forty-five, though," she said.

Remus shrugged. "I'll walk you home afterwards," he promised. He led the way across the street and took up a path in the silent park. Not wanting to leave him, Thea followed. The park was more brightly lit than the street. The waning moon had come out from behind a cloud, too, and shone on the pavement and on the naked grey branches of the trees.

They ate their burgers as they went. Remus finished his first. He crumpled up the paper, clenching it in his fist, and sped up. He swore softly. "Forget it," he growled. "What does it matter, really, anymore, that you don't know anything?" He seemed to be carrying on aloud a mental conversation he'd been having for some time. He turned to Thea, eyes anguished. "Thea, my best friends are dead," he told her.

Thea gasped, and inhaled the last bits of the last bite of her burger. She erupted into a coughing fit, taken completely by surprise by Remus' sudden revelation. When she had finally recovered, eyes watering, she stared at him. "What?" she whispered.

"They're all dead," Remus repeated. "James, Lily, and Peter. They all died this last year. There was…there was another one, too, that-"he started to curse again but bit it back. "He was carted off to prison after a crime _you've_ probably even heard of." He spat the words out. "Better if he had died, too, if you ask me."

Thea's brain reeled with the new information, given so abruptly in such short, charged sentences. The man of mystery façade had cracked wide open, and Thea was horrified. Best friends all dead in so short a time! One friend so changed that thinking of him made the soft-spoken man swear, and wish death on him as well! Remus stared at her, shaking with the force of the emotions he'd held so carefully in check. "Well?" he demanded. "You asked."

"I…I feel kind of sick," Thea said slowly, crumpling up her own burger paper nervously. "So…so you couldn't sleep. I…I don't blame you." She bit her tongue, before she did something stupid like apologize for his loss or claim she understood it to the depth that he'd revealed in so few words. She didn't. Instead, she asked, "Do you…do you have any family? Parents? Siblings? Cousins? Any other friends?"

Remus extended a hand. Thea stared at it for a moment before realising what he wanted. She handed over her paper, and he threw both papers in a nearby receptacle and walked up ahead of her, in quick, long strides, like he was running from something. "Since you ask, my mother's dead, too," he said shortly. "She got sick, nothing like your mother, and it was years ago, but there you have it. My father was older: he's in a senior care facility, and sometimes he doesn't know who I am, these days. The doctor says his memory's deteriorating fast. I have no siblings, no other family, and I'm afraid I'm a bit too much like you as regards friends. I had four in the world, the best friends anyone could ever have, and now three are dead and one is worse than."

He stopped on a bridge looking over a little creek and stared off into a stand of trees a few hundred feet away. Thea walked up to stand beside him. Her heart broke for him. "Remus-"

"Don't," he cut her off. "It is what it is, Thea." He bit his lip to keep from saying more, and turned away slightly.

"James, Lily, and Peter," Thea murmured. "Remus, tell me about James."

Remus' face twisted, and he gripped the railing of the bridge tightly, but he answered. "James was- James," he said finally. "He was my first friend when I started attending school. He was brave. Brilliant. Funny, too. He was a huge joker when we all went to school, and he always said that one of the best ways to stay sane was to do something absolutely mental once a week."

"He sounds like a fun guy," Thea said softly.

"He was," Remus agreed, "And a good man. And he had the messiest hair I've ever seen. He'd always mess it up even more, to make it look like he'd just come off of a…" he paused. "…off the football field," he finished awkwardly. Thea wondered what he had been going to say originally. "They died together," he said softly. "James and Lily Potter."

"Brother and sister?"

Remus shook his head. "They were married. James loved Lily from when they were both about thirteen, and they got married right out of school."

"What was Lily like?" Thea asked, keeping her voice low. Remus' body had relaxed in the darkness. His voice was tired and sad, but he no longer seemed dangerous. "Lily was beautiful," he said, "Inside and out. She was clever and compassionate and kind. There wasn't a single person she knew whose life she didn't change for the better."

"They sound like nice people," Thea said. She rolled the names around in her head. "James and Lily Potter."

"They were," Remus whispered.

"What about the others?" Thea asked. "Peter, and the one that went to prison?" Thea saw the lines in Remus' face deepen in the lamplight. He shook his head slightly.

"Not tonight," he said shortly. "Maybe not ever. It's not a pretty story."

Thea nodded. "Did it help?" she asked quietly after a moment.

Remus' jaw worked. "A little," he admitted. "It's good to tell someone who they were…what they were to me."

"James and Lily Potter. Peter," Thea murmured. "I'll remember, Remus. I'll remember them with you."

Remus faced her abruptly. "What was your mother's name, Thea?"

Thea smiled sadly. "Her name was Winifred," she told him. "It was a long time ago."

"But it still hurts," he said.

"It still hurts," Thea replied. There was nothing more to be said. She looked over at the wood. "Look, Remus," she said. "Fireflies." She pointed across the creek towards little lights dancing in the wood. Remus looked at them, and his hand went to his pocket.

"Big for fireflies," he murmured.

"Maybe they're monster fireflies," Thea joked. "Their lights are really constant, too. They aren't blinking. Maybe someone's out there with torches?"

"No," Remus said, "I'd have noticed. Could it be…?" His voice trailed off, and he turned away. "Come on, Thea. It's late. I'll walk you home."

"You want to go catch one?" Thea asked. "Didn't you ever catch fireflies as a kid?"

Remus smiled. "Yes, but what would we keep them in?"

"Oh, I never kept them in anything. I didn't want them to die. I always just let them go afterwards. Come on, Remus. It'll be an adventure."

"There's probably snakes, though," Remus said, kicking the bridge railing.

"Fine, if you're scared," Thea said, shrugging.

Remus looked pained for a moment, but recovered. "No, but it is late."

"Alright then," Thea sighed. "Shame, though. They are pretty."

"I'll let them know you said so some other day," he said. "Back towards Mel's?"

"Yeah, and then hang a left and two rights. I'll show you."

Remus led the way, but as they left, Thea looked back at the large, constant fireflies in the trees. "My dad has family in the country," she said. "He showed me, there, how to go about catching fireflies down by the river. We'd go swimming there, too, me and my dad and my sisters."

"They're important to you, aren't they?" Remus asked.

Thea smiled. "My sisters? Yeah. Their names are Ginnifer and Faith, and I love them more than anything."

"How old are they?"

"Gin's seventeen, Faith is fifteen. They're good girls."

Remus stuck his hands in his pockets. "So you study Literature at university, work at Mel's late on weekends, and have two sisters you love more than anything. What else?"

The streets were more or less empty now, except for the odd partier, love-struck young couple, or drunkard. She drew a bit closer to Remus. "Why?" she asked him.

Remus shrugged. "I figure I've done my agonising for the night," he said tightly. "There's a good ways to go yet. Tell me about you."

Thea looked at her shoes. "There's not much to tell, Remus," she said softly. "You've pretty much seen all that there is to me. Bibliophile studying at university, waitressing to make ends meet, and chatting up strangers that come into the café. That's basically it." It was embarrassing to admit, but she thought Remus deserved to know.

Remus digested this. "You…you too?" he asked after an awkward silence.

"Alone?" Thea asked bluntly. Remus nodded. "Not at all like you are, Remus. That is, it's been mostly my choice. You're right to say that I don't understand what you're going through. I can't begin to imagine it. But being alone? Yeah, I get that bit. Turn left up here," she instructed.

"There's no one?" he asked.

"There's people," Thea said. "I have my family: my dad and my sisters. I'm generally thought amusing and amiable. But no close friends, no."

Remus seemed to be processing this, and Thea took the lead. He walked beside her, deep in thought. He was quiet all the way to Thea's complex. "This is it," she said. "I can take it from here. Are you far?"

"Not too terribly," he said.

"Look, be careful," Thea said. "It ought to be past midnight, now."

"I'll be careful," Remus assured her.

"I'll see you?"

"You'll see me."

Thea started to turn, but then turned back. "And, you know, Remus, you can use that number I gave you sometime. Give me a call. It doesn't just have to be late Saturdays, or at the café."

Remus blushed slightly. "I…uh, I don't have a phone," he said. "I just went to the addresses of those other places you gave me." Thea bit her lip, unsure what to say to that, but Remus gave a little smile. "I can find you, though. I'm good at that." he said. "Here or at Mel's. If you don't mind, that is."

Thea nodded. "Anytime. See you, then."

Remus took her hand and pressed it. Then Thea turned, and started up the stairs to her flat. Behind her, she heard a sharp crack. She turned, alarmed, but Remus was gone.

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><p><strong>AN: Labour of love, this chapter was. You'll not believe how many drafts I did of it or how much I ended up cutting out. Some of it might make an appearance in later chapters, like the 'fireflies'. Remus might also have another bad day later, where he knows Thea better and thus might act a lot stupider than he did this time. And I'm still trying to figure out whether to end this story on a hopeful, mysterious, or tragic note. **_**If**_** the 'fireflies' make another appearance it won't be for several chapters and several months, chronologically speaking within the framework of the story. I am sure that Thea will find out about Sirius **_**before**_** she finds out about wizardry or Remus' furry little problem, and that she WILL find out about Sirius (I'm not sure about the other two secrets he's keeping). I'm not sure, however, whether Remus will tell her or whether he'll slip and she'll jump to the proper conclusion, or if she'll just wonder about the timing and the identity of the prisoner and do some investigation. But for now, let's just say it's all in the works. Give me your feedback, please! **

**God Bless,**

**LMSharp**


	6. Planting Bulbs

**Disclaimer: This is the part where I DIS-claim any rights to authorship or compensation for the story I'm writing.**

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><p>Planting Bulbs<p>

Thea was digging in the dirt. She was wearing gloves, but the moist, gritty, warm stuff was coming in over the tops anyway. It was starting to itch. Oh, but she loved it. Beside her, there were boxes of bulbs waiting to be planted in the beds here at the park. It was early March, and Thea had volunteered to do this for the last three years she'd lived here in London.

The birds sang overhead. Thea wondered if Remus would show up today. When she'd come out of her apartment earlier that morning, she'd found a note on the door asking where she'd be that day, signed simply 'R Lupin'. She'd seen him three weeks ago at Mel's again, but not since their interview a month ago had she seen him outside the café. She recognized this as his substitute for calling. She'd turned the note over and written a reply.

There were two or three other workers around the park. Thea didn't honestly know if they were paid or volunteers as she was. She didn't know their names. Her first spring in London, right after she'd almost flunked out at university, she'd just been so forlorn she'd called up the park and offered to plant their spring flowers. It was hard to feel like everything was dying and useless when you were gardening, Thea had found. She had a few house plants in her flat, but it just wasn't the same as working on your knees in the dirt with the wind on your face and the sun on your neck.

She whistled up to a robin in a nearby tree, careful not to look at him lest he fly away. He fell silent for a moment before whistling back his little song, and Thea smiled. She whistled again, a more complex tune this time, and again there was a replying whistle. This time, though, it was the exact same tune, and it came from behind her. A shadow fell over her. Thea turned. "Hello, Remus," she said.

"Hello, Thea," he said. "You got my note."

"You got mine," Thea replied.

"I didn't think when you said 'at the park 10 to 3' you meant you'd be working. Am I interrupting?"

"I wouldn't have told you if you would be, now would I?" Thea said, turning over the soil with her trowel and placing another bulb beneath the surface. "This isn't a job. This is fun."

"You're volunteering?" he asked.

"Sure. I have every year since I got here." Thea planted another bulb, and moved over the empty box to reveal the larger pair of gloves beneath it. She felt Remus look at them behind her, and then heard a low, rich chuckle. She froze. It was the first time she'd heard a real, natural laugh from Remus since she'd known him.

"I see how it is," he said. "I'm afraid I'm not wearing appropriate clothing, Thea."

Thea turned and looked him over. Remus was wearing his usual shabby professor-y suit. He had about three variations upon the blazer and shirt that she had seen. She wondered if he even owned other clothes. No-this was a new one, she realized. It wasn't as worn, either. "New suit," she said. "Nice. Now I feel all underdressed." She gestured to her dirty overalls, messy ponytail, and battered straw hat as if embarrassed. Remus laughed again.

"It'll wash," he said. "Mine will wash, too, come to think of it." And without further ado he knelt right beside Thea. "Lucky it's been dry, though." He pulled on the gloves. "So what do I do?"

Thea showed him how to turn the dirt of the bed over with the trowel, removing the weeds. "Then you just…put the bulb in the ground and cover it up. When we've done the bed we go over the lot with the watering can to settle the soil and get it all started growing. We can work more quickly, too, now that you're here. One of us can use the trowel, the other can plant the bulb."

"And what shall I do?" Remus asked, with a slightly amused air.

Thea looked him over. "How about you plant," she said. "You're right about that suit, and it's a lot less messy, if you're careful."

"Yes, ma'am," he said. But before he sat to it, Remus walked over to a nearby bench, took off his jacket, and rolled up his sleeves. "That ought to help, too," he remarked. He placed a bulb in the hole Thea had just dug, and smoothed the soil over it like she had shown him. Thea nodded approvingly, and then the light came over Remus' shoulder, and she stilled again. His forearms were traced with several faint, oddly patterned scars. Not knife cuts. They looked almost like Remus had been repeatedly attacked by some savage canine…but surely, no canine could be that big. Then a cloud passed over the sun, and the scars were invisible. Thea wondered if she'd imagined them. The two of them worked in silence a while.

"You weren't at Mel's last week," Remus said after a while. "Or at your flat. I looked."

"No," Thea agreed. "Last weekend I took off. I went to visit my family. It's been a while."

"Where do they live?" Remus asked.

"Not far. Just the London side of Surrey." Thea said.

"How were they?"

Thea turned the soil of another hole over thoughtfully. "Faith's lamenting the end of another one of those plays of hers," she said. "And Ginnifer's still dancing around the subject with this guy she likes. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if they're ever going to knock it off and go out already. Dad's fine."

"You've mentioned them before. Can you tell me about them?" Remus asked.

Thea smiled. "You see Ginnifer, and the first thing you think is big blue eyes and freckles. Seriously, that girl's entire face is swallowed up in freckles. She's cute, though. Still cute, at seventeen. I just don't get how she got so lucky. And people love her. She has about half a million friends, last time I checked."

"You're jealous?" Remus asked.

Thea shrugged. "Sometimes. But I love her. And I _like_ her a lot better than I used to. Faith is different. Once you get past the freckles, blue eyes, and petite-ness, Gin looks a lot like me. Faith's tall like me, she looks like a woman already, but her features are stronger than either of ours. Darker complexion, too. She's the sweetest girl. She really is. Very talented, too. She wants to be an actress."

"So Ginnifer is the social butterfly, Faith's the actress, and you are…"

"The eccentric academic," Thea finished. "That's about the size of it."

Remus shook his head. "I bet your sisters think you are just as spectacular as you so obviously think they are." He smoothed the last bulb in the row over with dirt, and they moved over and down to the next row, bringing them back to kneel on the grass.

Thea didn't answer him. She brushed a stray wisp of hair out of her face. "I always used to think it was the three of us," she confessed. "Always. But now more and more it's the two of them, and then there's me. I mean, it's only to be expected. I'm gone, now, and I was more parent than sister to them, anyway, a lot of the time they were growing up. I can't be mad about it. But…it does make me sad."

She finished the last part in a murmur, and then laughed. "But look at me, going on like this. I'm sorry, Remus. You must think I'm incredibly stupid."

Remus stopped his work, and turned to Thea. "No," he said. "Your feelings- what's going on in your life- is not stupid. Don't say that." His stare was intense, and Thea looked away.

She was quiet for a moment. "I don't like talking to people," she said, turning over the soil and extracting a weed rather more viciously than she had been doing thus far. "About what's going on. Or isn't, more usually. It might be part of the problem, actually, but it's far easier talking to people I don't know about them, and then leaving before they start asking. Or wondering why I'm not explaining. Or start feeling weird about what I explain."

Remus nodded. "Trust me Thea; no one gets that more than I do." His voice was pained, and Thea abruptly remembered who she was talking to. She looked up. "I thought you might be like that, at first. You really are unusual, you know," he said quietly. "I have talked to other people. People who knew them."

"James, Lily, and Peter," Thea murmured. "And the other one."

"Yes," Remus said. "And they either leave the conversation as quickly as possible because the subject-because I- make them uncomfortable, or they stick around, and hover, and feed me a bunch of idiotic clichés in hopes they can fix things as easily as a piece of plaster and a wish."

Thea knew what he meant. There had been people like that, after her mother had died. There had been people that had turned away from the little girl and her littler sisters, ashamed by their pain. And still worse, there had been those that had stayed at the house for days. "I'm sorry for your loss," they'd said, about the loss that hadn't happened to them. "It'll be all better in time," they'd said, when her mother had killed herself. "You still have your dad," they'd said, when he was even more traumatized than Thea and her sisters were. And they'd almost seemed angry, those well-wishers, when Thea didn't 'get well again' according to their schedule.

"I _can't_ fix things," Thea said. "It's no good pretending I can. Nor can I make up for three friends dead and one…"

"One worse than dead," Remus growled.

"No," Thea agreed. She turned over the trowel one last time and took the last bulb out of the last box for this bed. She placed it in Remus' hands. "I don't like talking to people," she repeated. "But when my grades were bad, and London was miserable, and everything around me seemed to be dying, I came out here to make sure it didn't. Now, when me and my sisters aren't an 'us' anymore, I do the same thing. And I brought an extra pair of gloves, yeah, 'cause I saw your note, and I thought I knew someone else that might need to be reminded that life will still go on, even if things aren't all fine and shiny." She cupped Remus' hands around the bulb, and together they planted it and smoothed the dirt down over the flower waiting to grow. Thea stood and picked up the enormous watering can she'd filled at the hose earlier. "D'you want to, or shall I?"

Remus took it from her silently, and without a word he watered each and every one of the bulbs they'd planted together, his face a curious expression of grief and defiance. When he'd finished, he stood straight and proud. "It's a battle," he said. "Every day."

"If you haven't gone crazy yet, you're more than brave enough to win it," Thea told him. "Want to help me do the other beds?"

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><p><strong>AN: So I'd written an entirely different chapter for this place in the story, but right before I posted it I decided it was completely irrelevant and took three more days to write this. In the meantime, I also determined where this story is going and how it is going to end. So that's THAT bit of uncertainty taken care of. There WILL be a couple more chapters at Mel's, but for the MOST part the story will take place outside of the café from now on. Whit the waitress might make a reappearance at the very end. I'm also considering writing a chapter with the famous Ms. Austin soon when Remus gets a new job. There MIGHT be a chapter in which Emmeline Vance or Hestia Jones meets up with Remus and Thea by accident. Someone that knew Lily well, anyhow. What do you think? What do you think of this one? **

**God Bless,**

**LMSharp **


	7. The Man in Hiding

**Disclaimer: Emmeline Vance, along with Remus Lupin and the entire Wizarding World, belongs to J.K. Rowling. I'm borrowing them, and expect no compensation and take no credit for however I may mutilate them in this my little fanfiction.**

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><p>The Man in Hiding<p>

Mel's had been busy the night Thea met Emmeline Vance. Remus had sat at Table Seven reading an old edition of Lewis Carroll he was repairing for the university library while Thea bustled around serving the family at Six, the little old lady at Two, and the boisterous teenagers at Four. She hadn't even had time to start singing. Bernie waited on Remus, and Erin had even come out of the kitchen to bus a few tables. Thea had been much too tired to wait in the café after Bernie had helped her to clean up. Fortunately, Remus had picked up on that. He paid and left, and was waiting at the back door when Thea came out. Thea smiled in relief to see him, and he fell into step beside her.

"Busy day?"

"You have no idea," Thea said. "It's mid-terms, too. I'm pulling my hair out! But I saw you with that old copy of Carroll. You're working late, too."

Remus shrugged. "It's a very interesting edition. The illustrations are rather different than you're likely to see in a modern copy. They preserve the horror of the story a bit better."

"I always thought _Alice in Wonderland_ was a horror story," agreed Thea. "It's horribly bizarre, absolutely terrifying. And then Carroll goes and ruins the whole thing with that sentimental last line about the sister."

Remus shot her a look."Not a Carroll fan?"

"Not really. If you're looking for a quirky story, though, I'm rather fond of one Norton Juster came out with in '61. _The Phantom Tollbooth_. Have you ever run into it?"

Remus shook his head. "No. I've heard Ms. Austin mention it, though. She recommended it. I may have to read it one of these days." Remus stopped as they came out into the street, considering. "What do you say we check on the fireflies and flowers in the park before I walk you home? You look like you could use a break."

Thea debated. She was really very tired, but once she got home she knew it would take her ages to get to sleep. She might even talk herself into studying for another half hour before she even tried. Better she wear herself out with a walk and a bit of talk beforehand. She nodded finally. They turned towards the park. "So how's Ms. Austin treating you?" Thea asked.

"She's great, as always. She was sick, though, Tuesday. I had to take over the reading, when the group from the primary school came in. I read them one of those Brown books that are so popular nowadays- you know, the ones with that talking aardvark?"

"Some of the kids Gin babysits really like those," Thea remarked.

"Yes, well. The group enjoyed it." Remus smiled a little. "I did the voices and everything."

Thea checked. "You? You do the voices?" She grinned up into her friend's face. "Remus Lupin. Well. You learn something new every day."

Remus shrugged. "Would've been a lot more fun to read if it had been _The Hobbit_. Maybe _Peter Pan_." He looked sideways at Thea and gave a little half smirk. "Say, Thea? Do you believe in fairies?"

Thea elbowed him lightly. "Shut up," she laughed. "Seriously, though, why did you read a book about primary school talking aardvarks when you could read _Peter Pan _or _Just So Stories?"_

"I suppose the Brown books have more pictures," Remus said.

"Oh, heaven forbid children have to use their imaginations," Thea said sarcastically. "Or be exposed to elevated vocabulary and superior storytelling. You know, Remus, sometimes I think everyone expects children to be idiotic."

Remus glanced at her, apparently taken aback by her sudden heat. "Ah. Have I stumbled across another topic of interest? Fairies and education. Hmm."

Thea looked at her shoes. "My dad's a teacher," she said. "So was my mum, before…you know. I just sort of grew up around it, I guess. Not to mention it drove me absolutely mad when I was a kid. Everyone treating me like I wasn't an entire person, just 'cause I hadn't turned thirty-seven yet. As far as I can tell kids can understand anything adults can." She shrugged. "Haven't you ever noticed, though? How everyone treats kids like they're stupid. Or even people our age?"

Remus shook his head. "I suppose sometimes it's that way," he conceded after a moment. "But sometimes it's not. Sometimes adults don't have the luxury to lord it over children. Sometimes children grow up too fast and have to be stronger, smarter, and braver than they have the experience to be yet. Children aren't stupid. You're right about that. But they're too young to be wise. And I've seen young men and women crushed under circumstances that suddenly demand them to be." He thrust his hands into his pockets, frowning.

Thea digested this. "But children _are_ people? You agree with me there? All the feelings and intelligence of any human being alive?"

"Definitely. They can reason like adults, but only based off of the knowledge available to them. And compared to your average thirty-seven year old, you have to admit, Thea, that's minimal."

"Alright, you've got me there," Thea admitted. "But there is no doubt the kids in the library are capable of listening to more than a story about an aardvark. They can imagine more, they can be challenged more." Thea frowned. "Or maybe I was the only kid weird and nerdy enough to read hundred page books in the corner."

Remus shook his head. "I was with you, there. Lily liked to read, too. Lily Potter. Our first year of school, she hardly took her nose out of a book once."

Remus and Thea turned to go into the park gates, but a voice called out. "Lupin? Remus Lupin? Is that you?"

Remus and Thea whirled around towards the voice. A woman was staring at Remus, dark blue eyes wide in the streetlight. She wore smart, button-up boots, and a black overcoat, and her straight black hair was held back with a headband that matched her odd, old-fashioned blue dress. She took a little half step towards Remus. "Merlin, it is you, isn't it? Remus Lupin! Everyone's been looking for you for months! Where on earth have you been? Look at you! All got up like a—"the woman trailed off, noticing Thea for the first time.

Thea turned to look at her friend. He looked thunderstruck, and not entirely pleased to see this strange woman. Nevertheless he placed his hand on Thea's waist lightly, bringing her forward. "Vance," he said. "May I introduce my friend Thea Ramora? Thea, this is my old schoolmate Emmeline Vance."

Thea studied Emmeline Vance's bewildered face, interested to make the acquaintance of this old schoolmate of Remus'. The woman looked to be about Remus' age, though she didn't look nearly so worn or grieved. However odd her clothing- actually, now Thea thought of it, the blue dress looked more like collegiate robes than anything- it was in much better condition than Remus'. Emmeline Vance, though not strictly pretty, had a queenly expression that gave her a certain presence. She extended her hand, and Ms. Vance took it, face still lined in confusion.

"Nice to meet you, Ms. Vance."

"Likewise," Emmeline said. She shot Remus a look, and Remus gave a sharp, jerky nod. Ms. Vance's blue eyes darted back to Thea, and then to Remus again. "Lupin, no one's seen you for months," she said again, this time more carefully. "You moved flats, no one's heard from you since last October! McGonagall was about ready to send out the entire Or-" she paused again. "Where have you been?"

Remus' face closed down. "Well you can't have expected me to join everyone in celebrat—"he began angrily, but broke off, with another glance towards Thea. "You can't really have expected me to be having dinner parties," he said instead.

Emmeline peered at him. "So what? You just…ran? Quit your job, packed your stuff, and just vanished?"

Remus shook his head. "I was fired," he said shortly.

Thea felt awkward. "Should I…"she began.

"You're fine," Remus told her. "Vance will be going soon."His hand was still on Thea's waist, and she felt the tension moving through him, and the anger.

"Dumbledore said you'd probably need time," Emmeline murmured. "But Lupin- it's been nearly five months! I mean, we know it wasn't you now-"

"Oh, now you know," Remus snapped. "Now you know it wasn't me!"

"We wanted to find you, so we could apologise."

"Bit late for that, don't you think?"

"Look, I mourned them too, Remus!" Emmeline said, finally losing her own temper. She glared at him. "Lily was my best friend in school."

Thea glanced at Emmeline sharply. Remus, meanwhile, had loosened. "I know," he sighed, and the sigh carried all the weight of his sadness.

"We danced, you and I, at the wedding. I cried for weeks, Lupin, even though—" Emmeline broke off her passionate defense and said quietly. "It would've meant a lot to me, to all of us, if you'd just stayed. We could've talked."

"You didn't know James," Remus said harshly. "And you hated Peter."

"Not after how he died," Emmeline said firmly, eyes flashing. "Not anymore."

Thea looked between the tall strange woman and her friend's face. Remus' features seemed to be cut out of stone. "Remus, maybe I really should…"

Remus shook his head. "It's fine, Thea," he said again.

"Alright, Lupin," Emmeline said, throwing her hands up in frustration. "Whatever. Though why you're hanging about with a Mu—"

Remus' eyes flashed in the lamplight, and his hand tensed again on Thea's waist. "You don't mean that," he said. "You can't mean what you're about to say. Not after everything."

Emmeline looked at Thea, and then back at Remus. Then she sighed. "No. You're right. Sorry. At least I'll be able to tell the others you're not dead. We worried you might be, you know. Remus, have you-"she hesitated. "Have you gone to Azkaban? Have you visited him?"

Azkaban. The word was strange. Thea assumed it was the name of the prison where Remus' nameless friend was, particularly when Remus' face turned feral. "No," he snarled. "The traitor can rot there, for all I care."

Emmeline bit her lip, but she nodded. "I haven't, either," she murmured. "And—and Harry?"

Remus shook his head. "I haven't seen him." Now, though, he let go of Thea and stepped forward. "Em, have you? Do you know how he is?" His voice was strained, eager.

Emmeline shook her head, though. "I don't even know where he is," she said sadly. "None of us do, except Dumbledore and McGonagall, and they're not talking. I thought maybe, since no one had seen you—" She trailed off as the shadows came back to Remus' face.

"I went to Dumbledore," he said. His voice had fallen to a hoarse whisper. "I asked if he might be given to me, but…I wasn't deemed a suitable guardian." His voice was bitter, and contained a subtle undertone of what Thea thought was guilt. "He's safer where he is."

Emmeline was confused. "But Harry has no—" she stepped back. "No. Not Petunia?" Remus' silence was answer. "But she hated Lily! James, too! Oh, I hope Dumbledore found something else, Lupin. Tell me he did! She didn't even come to the funeral! Her own sister! Didn't even send a card!"

Remus shook his head grimly. Emmeline's eyes shone in the darkness with unshed tears. "And you?" she asked finally. "Are you alright?"

"I'm still breathing," he said.

Emmeline nodded once. Twice. Slowly, she backed away. "Just-Take care, Remus. Alright?"

Remus was silent. Emmeline raised her hand, turned. "See you around," she said shortly. She looked at Thea abruptly. "Good evening, Ms. Ramora," she said, and hurried off into the darkness.

Thea was silent for about two minutes as Remus led the way past the upcoming little green shoots in the flower bed, to the bridge overlooking the large, constant fireflies. The night was beautiful, but Thea couldn't enjoy it. Her mind raced. Up until now she had thought Remus Lupin had been a victim of a very tragic set of coincidences. After hearing the carefully guarded conversation between her friend and Emmeline Vance, though, she was beginning to revise her opinions. There was obviously much more to the tragedies that had befallen Remus Lupin this past year. Something strange, and quite possibly dangerous. For the first time, Thea wondered if Remus Lupin might not be quite as nice as he seemed to be.

"Well?" Remus said.

"James and Lily had a son," Thea stated. It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

"Harry Potter."

"Yes. He's an orphan now. He'll turn two in July." Remus sighed. "I used to babysit him. The other one, not Peter—"

"The one in Azkaban," Thea supplied flatly.

"Yes. He was Harry Potter's godfather."  
>"He got himself incarcerated. Life sentence?" Remus had said he could rot in Azkaban, after all.<p>

"Yes."

"You called him a traitor."

"He is one."

"And there were others. Other people you knew. That knew James, Lily, Peter, and you. Emmeline Vance. McGonagall. Dumbledore. And you were on the outs with them when your friends died?"

"With everyone except the friends that died."

"But it wasn't your fault."

"No."

"And afterwards you didn't want to go back."

"Would you?" Remus asked, turning to Thea. He seemed to be genuinely asking. His face was tight, pained, but no longer looked to be made of stone.

Thea shifted. "I-I don't know," she managed. "What did they do? Or think you did? Why don't they think it anymore? And what, did you think they would all celebrate when James and Lily and Peter died, Harry was left an orphan with his awful aunt and that other guy was chucked into prison? You said something like that- Ms. Vance was mad at you for it- this is all deep and complicated, isn't it?" Thea looked at Remus. "Look, Remus, you aren't in any trouble, are you? Or you weren't?"

Remus grimaced. "What do you mean?"

"You aren't in any…I don't know…like a street gang, or the mob, or something?"

Remus blinked. "Do I look like a gang member?" he asked, surprised. "Or a criminal?"

Thea glanced him over. Though organised crime or a street gang fit the shadowy facts she had gleaned about her companion much better than anything else, it still didn't seem quite right. For there he was, in a hopelessly wholesome, shabby tweed suit, with that Carroll book sticking out of his pocket. "No," she said after a moment. "You don't. But there's more to what happened than you're telling me. You and Emmeline were both very careful in what you said. I don't think James, Lily, and Peter just all happened to die in tragic accidents. There's a story, isn't there?"

"There's always a story," Remus said quietly. He studied Thea's face for a moment. "I may even tell you someday," he said. "But for now, trust me. I'm no criminal, and I definitely mean you no harm."

"I know that much," Thea muttered. "It isn't me I'm worried about."

Remus' eyebrow quirked in confusion. Then he stilled. "No. It wouldn't be, would it?" he murmured. For a moment, he seemed torn between tears and a smile. "Don't worry about me, Thea," he said. "I'm in no danger, either."

"That woman- Ms. Vance- did say they wondered if you were dead," Thea pointed out.

"Well I haven't talked to all of them for five months," Remus replied reasonably.

Thea accepted this. "Alright, then," she said. "Alright. Fine." She fell silent, then.

Remus looked up at the clear spring sky. "Look," he said, pointing. "You can see Mercury. Just there."

"Named for the Roman god of medicine," Thea said. "Messages, too."

"Yes. And there's the Pole Star."

"They're very bright tonight," Thea said. "Wish we had a telescope."

"I have an old one at home," Remus said. "Some other night we'll have to take it out here, tune it up a bit, and have a closer look at the stars. I studied astronomy in school, you know."

"Bit classical."

"Yes, I suppose you could say I had a classical education," Remus said.

He pointed out a few more constellations, and Thea repeated back to him their respective myths. "I study mythology," she told him. "But not in school. Just on my own. It's fascinating. Like the fairies."

Remus looked across at the fireflies. "Like the fairies," he repeated absently.

Thea bit her lip. "I think you should go back to them," she said quietly. "Ms. Vance. McGonagall. Dumbledore. The others. No matter what happened."

Remus looked at her. "Really?" he asked.

Thea shifted. "Well you did ask," she said defensively. "And it'll have to help, to talk to people who do know what all happened, no matter what quarrel you had with them all, or what quarrel they had with you. From what Ms. Vance said, it does sound like you ran, a bit."

Remus frowned. "Going back," he murmured thoughtfully.

"Will it be hard?"

Remus shook his head. "No. Not now. But…" he hesitated. "It'll be painful."

"It's painful now," Thea murmured. "And you're in pain all on your own."

"True," Remus conceded. Thea considered how far they'd come. Five months ago she didn't even know the man beside her. He was just a stranger she'd bothered at the café. Now, she had to admit she didn't know much more about his past or life than she had before, but she was standing there alone with him in the park in the middle of the night, completely unafraid, daring to give him advice, and it almost looked like he might take it. She wondered, though, if he went back to his friends, to wherever he'd come from, whether or not she'd see him again.

He looked over at her. "C'mon," he said. "I'll walk you home."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: On the whole, rather happy with this one. Up next: Thea visits her old friend Ms Austin at the University Children's Library only to find Remus Lupin has found a new job at some unknown business. Ms Austin asks for help archiving information, and going through the newspapers of last year, Thea and Ms Austin discover a black secret. Keep Reading! Leave a review! **

**God Bless,**

**LMSharp**


	8. The Black Secret

**Disclaimer: Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and the big explosion are all Rowling plot events. Also Remus Lupin. Thea's reactions are all mine. Enjoy them. You get them for free.**

* * *

><p>The Black Secret<p>

It was Thursday morning, and Thea was on campus, extremely bored. She considered her options. It was nearing the end of March now, and bills were due soon, so she counted out the cinema or some other similarly expensive diversion. She supposed she could go back to her flat. There were those fifteen Latin forms to commit to memory, and the books on the bookshelves she'd read through twenty times each if she cared to procrastinate. Thea grimaced. No. She supposed she could show up at the kitchen, or the animal shelter, and volunteer there for a time as she sometimes did. Thea had almost made up her mind to do this, and was just starting past the obligatory little campus fountain, when her gaze happened to fall upon the campus childcare center and its adjoining library.

It had been several weeks since she'd popped in to see Ms Austin, Thea realised. Last time she'd gone it had been about six weeks after Remus had started his job there. Ms Austin and Remus had taken a lunch break, and the three of them had gone out for fish and chips and talked over books and philosophy to their hearts' content.

Just remembering that afternoon made Thea smile. Maybe Remus would be working again today. If not, it was always good to see Ms Austin.

Accordingly, Thea crossed the quadrangle and entered the low, comfortable children's library through the double wooden doors. The carpet depicted cartoonish jungle animals, and short, wide shelves of books and tiny tables were spaced admirably around the library. Thea passed a wide area of beanbags surrounding a tall, regularly-proportioned chair- the reading area- and walked up to the wide wooden circulation desk. Behind a large, messy stack of various newspapers, writing in a registry book with newsprint-stained fingers, sat Ms Katherine Austin. She was a little elf of a woman, barely clearing five feet tall, and stick-thin. Her hair was no longer the black it had been when Thea had first met her nearly ten years before, but though iron grey, it was as straight and thick as ever, still held stubbornly back in that brown barrette. Thea grinned at the sight of her.

"Excuse me, madam?" she said. "Could you help me find a book?"

Ms Austin looked up and that jack-o-lantern smile that always seemed far too wide for her little sliver of a face lit it up. "Thea!" she cried. She stood and tripped around the circulation desk with the energy that Thea could never separate from her. "Oh, come here!"

Thea hugged the librarian fondly. "Did I come at a bad time?" she asked.

"No, no, it's always good to see you," Ms Austin said. "Actually, are you doing anything?"

"Not at the moment. They cancelled the Homer class this morning. Pity, really, we were going to talk about Penelope, and I always like thinking about her."

"She manages to be both a positive and realistic portrayal of a woman in ancient literature," Ms Austin agreed, "Really, she's almost unique. But anyway, Thea, I wonder if you might help me?"

"Sure, what do you need?"

Ms Austin gestured to the tall pile of newspapers behind her. "As you know, we keep newspapers in stock for those practically minded children. They're few and far between, mind you, but they do exist. Anyway, every few months I have to archive the old ones and put them away so we have room for the new ones. I send them to the main library for student research projects, where they're kept in very dusty cabinets, filed away by publication and month. I've been putting off archiving them- I have about six months worth of news right now- and I really must take care of it today. It would go a lot faster, though, if someone could read out the dates and sort them into the boxes behind the desk while I make notes in the registry of any papers that might be missing."

"Sure," Thea said. "You know I always like to help. But isn't this the sort of thing Remus would usually help you with? Is he ill?"

Ms Austin smiled. "No, though now you mention it he does tend to be ill more than most. No, Remus made it clear from the start that working here was a temporary job for him, and I hired him upon those terms. He's been a joy, like I told you. The kids have loved him. But two weeks ago he gave me notice. Didn't you know he'd got a new job?"

"No," Thea said. "He has?"

"Yes," Ms Austin said. "I wish him luck, too. He promised to visit every now and then, but for now, I'm shorthanded."

"I'd be happy to fill in for the afternoon," Thea said.

"Groovy!" cried Ms Austin happily. "Can I get you anything? A soda pop or lemonade or something?"

"I'm good," Thea said. "Thanks, though, Ms Austin." Shortly after Thea had graduated from secondary, Ms Austin had attempted to get Thea to call her by her Christian name. Unfortunately, after five years of the title, the familiarity had lasted all of a week. Ms Austin was Ms Austin to Thea, petite and kind and energetic through the years, both mentor and friend.

Ms Austin sat in her customary red chair behind the desk and took up the registry book again. Thea followed her behind the desk, pulled out the more faded blue chair, and moved the newspapers slightly to the left.

Thea sorted through _Globes_ and _Gazettes_, calling out dates and headlines for Ms Austin to write down in her book, and organizing them in their respective boxes with the newest on the bottom so that when the employees at the main library took them out again and put them in their files they'd end up in the proper order. Every so often there'd be a page missing from a paper, or an entire paper gone altogether, and Ms Austin would have to make a note of it in the registry.

"Wow," said Thea, sipping her cola an hour and a half later. She had accepted Ms Austin's offer once they'd gotten through March, February, January, and halfway through December. "You weren't kidding about these needing to be organised, were you?"

"No," Ms Austin said, laughing a little ruefully. "I really ought to have done it weeks ago. Luckily there's only a few papers left. Last time I sorted them was…halfway through last October, I think."

"We're in November now," Thea said, picking up two November 14th newspapers. "Hmm. I'd forgotten how _weird _that month was. Fireworks every night for weeks- they thought there was some pyromaniac."

"Mmm. The bird specialists were going crazy, too," Ms Austin said. "There were owls everywhere. It was like they'd forgotten they're supposed to be nocturnal birds."

"Twelfth from the _Gazette_'s missing," Thea said. Ms Austin noted it down. "I met Remus right around then, you know. Late November, that is. He wasn't doing too great." She didn't go into detail. She didn't know how much Remus had told Ms Austin about his situation, or if he'd told her anything at all.

Ms Austin nodded thoughtfully. "I remember," she said. "He came here right after Christmas. He was as thin as a wraith. Had he been _very_ ill, Thea? He _is_ rather delicate. Actually, I think he was sick about three days a month all three months he worked here." She frowned.

As far as Thea knew, Remus hadn't been ill before she met him, just grieving. And starving. It was news to her that he was sick often. She wondered if that's why he'd had trouble with jobs. She sorted through the next newspapers in silence. Then she came to one that made her stop.

"November really was a strange month," she said again. "The very first of November that madman blew up an entire street downtown."

Ms Austin looked at the paper Thea held. She shook her head sadly. "Oh. The Sirius Black explosion. Yes. I remember. Did you learn much about it?"

"No," Thea said. "I heard about it, of course. You can't blow up a street without people hearing. But no, I didn't look for information about it. I thought it was sure to be horrible."

"It was," Ms Austin said. "There were several witnesses that saw what happened, but to this day they haven't figured out exactly how Black set off the explosion. But they know he did it. Right before it happened Black had a huge altercation with one of the men that died in the explosion." Ms Austin took the paper and flipped through the story. "Yes. A Peter Pettigrew. Apparently this Peter was shouting at Black about something he had done."

Thea took the paper. "Wait, what?" She flipped to the story.

"'_He (Pettigrew) was shouting at Black,' says Dorcas Adams, in tears. 'He screamed out, 'James and Lily, Sirius? How could you!' _ _And then I was thrown back several feet. When I got up, the entire street had been blown apart. There were mangled bodies everywhere,' Adams says, growing increasingly incoherent. 'And Black just stood there. He laughed!'_

_All in all, thirteen people died in the explosion. Black came quietly when the authorities arrived, according to witnesses. We can only wonder what provoked this sudden and brutal mass murder."_

Thea swallowed. James. Lily. Peter. "What happened to him?" she asked. "What happened to Black?"

Ms Austin shrugged. "He went to prison. I don't know what the ultimate sentence was. They never did figure out how he did it, like I said. But all they ever found of that Pettigrew man was his finger."

Thea took a deep breath. "Ms Austin, might I have a copy of this article?" she asked.

"Sure," Ms Austin said. "I'll go get you one in a tic." She took the article and went off to the Xerox machine, leaving Thea very badly shaken. James and Lily, Peter had said. Peter Pettigrew. _How could you?_ And Sirius Black gone to prison for murder. Too much added up for it to all be coincidence. Remus Lupin's dead friends were named James, Lily, and Peter. Thea would bet anything that Peter was Peter Pettigrew, and that the old friend he never named, the traitor in prison, was Sirius Black, the most sensational murderer to hit England in years.

Ms Austin came back with the three pages of article, and Thea tucked them into her backpack and put the paper in its box. "Look," she said. "Do you think you can handle the last few by yourself? Just, I should probably eat lunch and get some studying in before I have to work tonight."

Ms Austin nodded. "Oh, of course, it was great seeing you, Thea. Thanks so much for the help. Come again soon, alright? We'll talk."

Thea nodded distractedly. "We'll talk," she said absently. She removed the elastic from her wrist and tied her hair back before walking out quickly, thinking.

So. Peter hadn't died. He'd been murdered. One of Remus' friends had murdered another of his friends, and twelve others besides. And judging from the evidence of this Adams woman, the murder of Peter Pettigrew might have had something to do with what had happened to the Potters. Had Black killed them, too? Would he have killed Remus, if they hadn't caught him at last? The thought made Thea rather nauseous. She didn't blame Remus for never saying his name, for wishing he'd rot in Azkaban.

Had Remus known? Had Remus known how crazy Black was going to become?_ "I had four in the world," _he had said, speaking of his friends_," the best friends anyone could ever have, and now three are dead and one is worse than." _No, Thea realised. He couldn't have known. _Traitor, _Remus called Sirius Black, and Thea was willing to bet that whatever role Black had played in the deaths of the Potters, the role he had played in the death of Peter Pettigrew, weighed on Remus worse than if James, Lily, and Peter _had_ all died in tragic accidents, as Thea had first assumed. To be the best friend of a murderer…Thea couldn't imagine it.

She looked up, only to realise she'd walked all the distance to her flat in a reverie. She couldn't remember making the turns and crossing the streets from the university to her flat, but here she was. She fumbled in her bag for the key, and opened the door, flicking on the switch. She passed into the small, shabby apartment and sat on the standard-issue, drab, at-least-twenty-year-old couch. She took out the article again.

Ms Austin had printed the picture, too, the front page photograph of Sirius Black being led away from the demolished block. Thea stared at Sirius Black's hysterical face. Tears were running down his face; his mouth was open in a humourless laugh. Thea had seen mug shots of murderers before in the papers, and photos of great criminals in books. She knew that they came in all shapes and sizes, so she wasn't too surprised that this horrible man had been very handsome. The photograph showed Black to be tall and sturdily built, with a sculpted face and thick, black hair.

But he still didn't _look_ like a murderer. His eyes weren't flat and empty. His face hadn't formed along evil lines, the trademarks of greed and anger and selfishness and hardness that identified the murderers across sex, gender, and situation. Instead, the Black in the photograph looked over at the demolished street, just off camera, and went unresisting with the authorities.

As a girl consistently on the outside of things, and later as a waitress, Thea had fallen into the habit of people-watching. She flattered herself that she was rather good at it, too, telling all manner of men and women by their faces and behaviour. But she had to admit that in Sirius Black she'd met her match. This man Remus had known, the one better off dead, was obviously a proud man, a strong man, a laughing man. She saw that he must have been. But he just did not look like a murderer. In the photograph instead, his face was contorted with- what? Grief? Self-righteous anger? Guilt? A terrible, an ironic, a _heartbreaking_ amusement at something not at all funny? Thea just couldn't make sense of it, but the photograph of Sirius Black deeply unsettled her. For he _had_ killed. All those witnesses saw him blow up the street, for all no one remembered how, and anyway, there were the thirteen dead people- the twelve bodies, and Pettigrew's finger- Pettigrew, who must have gotten the full force of Black's desperate attack.

How horrible. And how much worse for Remus. Thea wondered what it must be like, to claim previous friendship with the man that had killed thirteen people, among them one of your dearest friends. To claim previous friendship with the man that may have been, directly or indirectly, responsible for the deaths of two other friends. Her stomach churned. She leaned forward, elbows on her knees, and put her head in her hands.

This didn't change anything, she realised after a few minutes. Remus was still the same person he'd been before she'd helped Ms Austin with her newspapers. He was still her friend. The only thing that had happened was an increase in her understanding of him. And not even that, she thought. She didn't understand _Remus_ better at all, just what had happened to him. She could guess now, on the bad days, why he seemed so angry. Maybe, in the future, that would help her.

But maybe it wouldn't. Perhaps, Thea admitted, knowing would only make it harder to relate to her mysterious friend. What did she know of murder and betrayal? If she had dared to think she could help Remus to get better before she surely knew better now. Remus was plumbing depths of turmoil she'd never even imagined visiting, places she couldn't fathom even now that she knew they existed. Now that she knew, should she say so? Should she get him to talk? Or should she help him forget?

Thea rubbed her forehead. What was the good of any of that? Well she knew she couldn't _do_ anything. She shouldn't even try. How Remus learned to cope with the horrors that occurred to him this past year and to live again was entirely his own battle. She couldn't fight it for him. She couldn't chase away the demons and bring a smile to that face that deserved it so much. All she could do was to be there, little Thea Ramora the waitressing university student, and be his friend. Small comfort to him, surely. Not much good. Definitely not enough. But she'd be there, nonetheless. She resolved it.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Originally, I picked a street name out of thin air for the big explosion. But then I checked, and I'd picked an actual street in Kensington! So I had to make it all vague and shadowy again, because I doubt something exploded for real on Nov. 1, 1981 in Kensington, and I doubt any Londoners would appreciate it. And I'm not QUITE sure that the Obliviators didn't just go and fix everybody's memories and Reparo the street. But Black WAS on the Muggle news in POA, and I like it this way better anyway. Hope you're still enjoying my story. Leave a review!**

**God Bless,  
>LMSharp<strong>


	9. We Should've Been There!

**Disclaimer: Pretty much the opposite of a copyright. **

"We Should've Been There!"

Thea was not in the best of tempers. It had just been one of those days where everything seemed to feel wrong. Perhaps it had been that she'd gotten out on the left side of the bed instead of the right. Perhaps her unrest could be attributed to the fact that her normally curly hair had decided for some reason to be especially unruly and had stuck out unevenly in some unholy halo all day long. Maybe it was that there was another round of tests next week, or that Thea hadn't seen her family in over a month. Maybe it was that it was late on Saturday night at Mel's, and Thea hadn't seen Remus in three weeks. But in any case, Thea was lonely, restless, and more than a little bit cranky.

Whit was working the Saturday late shift again. Thea usually saw the cheerful young woman on their shift together Tuesday afternoons, but this had to be the first time in months Whit had been working late on Saturday. The night had been busy; earlier, too, there had been a kid that puked in the aisle between One and Two. In any case, it was going on nine thirty before Thea had either time or inclination to ask her shift partner why she'd broken from schedule. Bringing back the money from the Morris family at Six, though, Thea finally had a moment to speak to Whit Blake.

"And how is Mr. Blake tonight?" she asked.

Whit smiled wearily. "Carl's well, dear, thanks for asking. He's getting on much better with Jamie now, and he thought he'd like to try a night alone with her. And in any case, it _is_ Bernie and Ashley's anniversary."

"How old is Jamie?" Erin piped up from beside the range.

"My Jamie turned one in February," Whit said proudly.

"Do you have a photo?" Erin asked.

"Not on me, no," Whit said regretfully. "But Carl said he'd bring Jamie and pick me up around ten. You can see her then, if you want."

Erin made a small, disappointed sound. "I knock off at fifteen 'til," she said. "Anyway, won't she be asleep?"

"Bless you, darling, I hope so," said Whit. "But the air will be good for her anyway, and I don't know but that it won't be lovely to see Carl ten minutes sooner. I never like walking home alone at night."

Thea shrugged. "I don't mind it," she said.

Erin laughed. "Don't mind it? Thea, walking through London at night with muggers and who knows what else about? You're mad!"

"Ah, but she's tall and strong-looking, even if she is dead clumsy, dear," said Whit, grinning. "I guess she doesn't have as much to be afraid of as the rest of us mere mortals."

The words were careless and teasing, but they stung, nonetheless. Mad. More than mortal. It basically panned out to freakish. Thea got that a bit too often, even from people that liked her, that meant well, like Erin and Whit. The bell at the front rang. Whit went to the counter. "Seven," she said. "Mine."

Thea perked up. "Who is it, though?" she asked.

Whit, halfway out the door to the dining area, paused and looked back at her. "Does it matter?"

"Saturday night, Table Seven's usually a regular," Erin explained.

"He's a good friend of mine," Thea added.

Whit looked out. "Nah- it's a couple this time. Middle aged thick chap and his mousy wife. Never seen 'em before. I'll get it."

Thea looked out after Whit, and sitting at Table Seven was the middle aged couple Whit had described. Thea fought back a wave of disappointment. She thought that he might show up tonight, too.

Table Four was flagging her down, though. Thea went to collect the bill and bade them good night. As she took the dishes and the money back to the kitchen, she hummed little snatches of defiant tunes, shooting a glare at the inoffensive couple at Table Seven. Why couldn't they have sat at Table Six, or Table Two? They'd cleaned all the sick off, and sanitised the table. Any other night Thea wouldn't have minded. But after nine on Saturday Table Seven belonged to Remus, as far as she was concerned. They looked wrong there. Thea sighed, well aware she was being unreasonable. It's not as if there was a sign, anyway, or as if Remus was obliged to show up. She began washing dishes in the sink, a bit more roughly than she would normally, even more annoyed by the fact that she knew she was being stupid.

Clyde looked up. "Try not to break them," he growled in an undertone. Erin, across the kitchen cleaning the range, couldn't hear. "You alright?"

Thea grimaced. "Just…I'm fine," she said quietly. It sounded pathetic to say that she-Thea Ramora, capable of Thoreau-type-levels of reclusiveness, was feeling just a bit lonely and more than a little cranky. She slowed down her scrubbing, though.

Whit came into the kitchen again. "How's the Dining Area?" Clyde asked her.

"Seven just wants a couple slices of cake- to go," Whit reported, coming in, "And Three's leaving."

"There's just the two tables, then?"

"Just the two."

Clyde looked down regretfully at the chocolate cake dessert special he'd made a few hours prior. Fully half of it remained, and of course, they couldn't serve it tomorrow. He cut two slices for Table Seven, and Whit whisked them out. Then Clyde turned to Thea. "It'd be a pity if it went to waste," he grunted. "You want to take it home?" He gestured to the rest of his splendid gourmet chocolate cake- about three slices of it.

Thea blinked at him. He shrugged. "Just a thought," he said.

Thea realised the taciturn old cook was trying to be nice. And, admittedly, the sugar once she got home might help, a bit. "Thanks, Clyde," she said. "I'd be delighted to take the rest home."

"I'll leave you to it, then," he said. "It's time to go."

Erin consulted her wristwatch. "It is!" she exclaimed. "Gosh, time flies!" She hung up her apron and stuck her head out into the Dining Area. "See ya, Whit!" she called. She came back and hugged Thea. "See ya, Thea." She grabbed her bag and headed out after Clyde, but paused at the door. "Hey, Ramora," she called. Thea looked back at her. "Smile, huh?"

Thea regarded the cheerful teenager, and found she was able to smile, a little. She waved, and Erin was gone.

Whit came in with more dishes for Thea, and Thea went back to washing them. Whit got out the bus-bin, and began wiping down the surfaces in the kitchen Erin hadn't gotten to.

The two of them worked in silence for a little bit, then Whit ventured. "How's school, Thea?"

Thea shrugged. "Middle of the spring semester. It always gets a little depressing this time of year. But it'll pick up in a few weeks, and then there's only a year."

"Just a year?"

"I'm finishing early."

"What do you want to do after you graduate?"

Thea sighed. "I don't know. I want to have adventures, but I'll probably end up teaching secondary school, really. At least for a while. I'd really-"she paused. "I'd really like to work at a newspaper. Or a magazine. Or a publishing company. I'd like to edit, or write little essays. Like in a weekly column, or something. Someday I want to write a book." Thea ducked her head self-consciously.

But Whit just shook her head in admiration. "You're so smart, Thea," she said. "I wish I'd gone to university. Now, mind, I'm happy where I'm at. I love Carl to death, and I wouldn't trade my Jamie for anything under the sky. But still, sometimes, I wish I'd gone further. There's just- there's more out there than Mel's."

"Yeah," Thea said.

Thea dried her hands and put up the last dish. She grabbed the broom from the bus-bin and Whit followed her out to the Dining Area with the cloth. Thea had her back to the door when the bell rang. She saw Whit look up eagerly for Carl and her daughter, but then saw her face fall.

"I'm sorry, sir," Whit said. "We're not serving supper anymore. We open tomorrow at twelve for Sunday lunch, though, if you'd care to come back then."

Thea turned, and broke out into a smile. "No, Whit, it's fine," she said. "It's just Remus. Hello, Remus."

Remus Lupin walked in and sat down at Table Seven. He looked a little drawn. The lines on his face looked a little deeper than usual, but he smiled. "Hello, Thea."

Whit blinked. "Oh, right," she said. "This is your friend?" She looked a little confused. "You said he's a regular," she told Thea.

"He is," Thea said. "Late on Saturday nights."

"Oh. Remus-is it? Pleasure. Whit Blake." She extended her hand, and Remus shook it politely.

"Hello, Ms. Blake," he said. "Actually, I think you were my waitress the first time I came here, but it's nice to meet you properly."

"Was I?" Whit asked.

"It was about five months ago," Thea said off-handedly. "You hungry, Remus? Erin and Clyde are gone, but I can make you a sandwich if you like. Whit's husband will be by any minute to take her home."

Remus touched the tips of his fingers together in a steeple, considering. "Actually, tonight it's just a tea, please. And- might you have anything chocolate?"

Thea grinned. "You saw the notice board. Yeah, Clyde made cake tonight. Lucky for you, there's a few pieces left. I was going to take it home with me, but you can have a slice."

"I'll pay."

"Your new job treating you well, then?"

Remus looked up, startled. Thea winked at him. She was feeling much better about the day and life in general. "Ms Austin," she explained.

"Ah, of course. Yes. I'm enjoying my job," Remus said.

He didn't volunteer the nature of his new work, and Thea didn't ask. With Remus, she had found it was better to let him tell you.

Whit finished wiping the tables and took the broom from Thea as she headed back to the kitchen. "So you and Thea have been friends for what, five months?" she asked.

"That's right," Thea heard Remus say as she passed out of the Dining Area. She put the kettle on and set about cutting two slices of the chocolate cake.

"Hey, Whit?" she called. "You want anything?"

"No," Whit called back, "But if you could pack up the last slice of that cake Carl would thank you, darling."

Thea did so, and as the teapot whistled Thea set about making the tea. She made Remus' like he liked it- strong, with just a little cream, and made herself the caffeine-free peppermint version.

She whistled in imitation of the teapot, and a cheery little tune suggested itself to her. Thea whistled the bobbing little composition, stopping and varying phrases when it suited her. She was still whistling when she carried out the cake and tea. Whit rolled her eyes fondly, and Remus smiled.

"Are you making that up?" he asked, in his quiet way. "That tune you're whistling?"

Thea shrugged, a little embarrassed. "Yeah," she admitted.

"Do you compose often?"

Thea handed Whit Carl's cake, and the other waitress set it aside. "Sometimes," Thea said off-handedly, returning to Table Seven with the tea and cake for herself and Remus. "Before I decided to go into Literature I seriously considered becoming a musician," she said.

"Dear, it doesn't mean anything that you're not a professional musician when you're singing night and day. You _are_ a musician," Whit said, half-wearily, half-proudly, surveying the spotless floor, putting aside the broom, and leaning up against the counter. "Remus, I see her sometimes waltzing up the sidewalk on Tuesdays for our shift, singing just like a bird at the top of her lungs. Rather annoying, actually, and half mad, besides."

"It's not so bad," Remus said. "There are much worse forms of madness, and at least she's got a nice voice."

Thea gestured dramatically. "See?" she said to Whit. "_He_ gets it!" She stuck her tongue out at Whit, well aware she was being childish, but was rewarded when she heard Remus let out a soft laugh. He didn't laugh enough. She took a large bite of cake. "No one understands me," she confided to Remus in a stage whisper. It was amazing what chocolate and company could do for her state of mind. The very things that had annoyed her earlier she felt she could laugh at now.

"No, you're an odd little person and no mistake," Whit said cheerfully. "But you're a darling, nonetheless, Thea dear." The words were unmistakably sincere, and Thea beamed at her. Then the bell rang behind Thea, and Whit's face lit up like a lamp.

Without waiting for Carl and the baby to come to her, Whit crossed to the door eagerly. She kissed her husband, a little wiry, dark-haired man with a weary smile and green eyes that had a lot of humor behind them. Thea liked the look of him, and the child he carried was just precious. Jamie Blake was a little, pink-cheeked, dimpled year-old girl, dressed in a smart little red coat and black shoes. She had a thick tuft of dark brown hair on top of her head, and her long lashes brushed her cheeks as she slept, her rosebud mouth open slightly. Thea smiled.

"Oh, come to mummy," Whit murmured, taking the baby from her husband and kissing her on the forehead. "Thea, this is Carl," she said in a low voice, "And this girlie here is my daughter, Jamie. Carl, this is my coworker, Thea Ramora."

Thea stood up. "Mr. Blake," she said. "Nice to meet you." She shook Carl's hand, and he smiled up at her- she was about two inches taller than the man.

"Ms Ramora- pleasure. My wife has told me a lot about you." His words still caressed the words _my wife; _though Whit had told Thea that she and Carl had been married for about five years, Carl Blake was obviously still very much in love. "But we'd better be going now- before the little one wakes up."

Thea nodded. "Of course," she said. She went to where Whit had placed the cake, and picked up the bag. "Here: Whit said you might like a piece of the chocolate cake we had left over tonight. Good evening, then."

Mr. Blake took the bag. "Whit, you think of everything," he murmured gratefully. "You're an angel, dear. A positive angel. Good evening, then, Ms Ramora…sir," he nodded to Remus, and held the door for his wife, escorting her out with a tender hand to the back. Whit left with the baby, stroking her daughter's hair. Thea watched them go, and her stomach flipped over a little.

"I want that someday," she said to Remus, sitting down again. "Did you see the way he looked at her? Like she was the moon and the stars and oxygen all at once. And oh, little Jamie's adorable. No wonder Whit talks about her all the time."

Remus stabbed at his cake with uncharacteristic violence, and Thea looked at him. His face was wooden; mask-like. "I've seen it before," he said shortly.

Thea felt as if someone had dashed cold water over her. Of course. "Your friends-"she began. It was all she had to say. Remus nodded sharply, jaw tight.

"James always looked at Lily like that," he said. "Like she was the moon and stars and his oxygen all at once." He quoted Thea , but his words weren't wistful. They were harsh. He wasn't looking at her, and he was gripping his fork so tightly his knuckles were dead white. "The little girl- Jamie? Harry was about that old the last time I saw him. Early August last year. He was riding around on this little-"he broke off. "Laughing like anything, and James was chasing after him before he nearly killed the cat again. He's older now, of course, but I doubt he's laughing much where he is."

He suddenly brought both fists down on the table, hard. "We should've been there!" he cried out. The two mugs of tea toppled, and the forks clattered against the cake plates. Thea jumped up before the tea ran into her lap, but instead of going for the rag, she went around to Remus. He turned his chair around as the still-steaming tea ran over the table and onto the floor, and buried his face in his hands. "We should've been there," he repeated, this time sounding defeated. Thea knelt before him. "We should've been there," Remus said again. "All of us. For that little boy. James and Lily should've been there. Peter. I should be there now, but I'm not. And…" His voice grew dark, and his fists clenched against his eyes.

"Sirius Black should've been there." Thea said quietly.

Remus tensed. Slowly, he sat up. His eyes were shining with unshed tears, but now he looked wary, afraid.

Thea shrugged. "You never got around to helping Ms Austin clear out the old newspapers," she told him. "I dropped a few weeks ago and helped out with that. It's when she told me about your new job. Anyway, while I was there I had occasion to remember that horrible explosion November first. Right before I met you. The article was most illuminating. Peter Pettigrew. James and Lily. High-profile arrest I'd know about. Two and two make four, Remus"

Remus lowered his hands to his lap slowly, but his fists remained clenched. "And?" he asked tightly.

"And what?" Thea asked. "You're right. He should've been there. By rights, it sounds like, if he'd been what he ought, Peter Pettigrew would still be alive. Harry Potter would be growing up with his parents just like Jamie Blake. And all five of you would still be the best of friends. But things aren't right, and Black went wrong, and Harry's growing up with an aunt that hates him, and Peter, James, and Lily are dead. And you're alone. He should've been there, should've been the best friend you all thought he was. But he wasn't."

She smiled, to keep from crying, but a tear slipped down her cheek anyway. Remus unclenched his hands. His eyes were wide. "You don't-"he hesitated. "That's it?"

Thea tilted her head in confusion. "What's it?"she asked.

"I was best friends with Sirius Black," Remus said. "_The_ Sirius Black. The murderer. And you're still here."

Thea realised what he was driving at. "What? Did you think I wouldn't be?" She clasped her hands in her lap and looked down. "You were right, of course, before, when you first told me what had happened. I don't get it. I couldn't possibly. Not even a little." Another tear dripped off her nose. "But why would I leave? You're my friend. It wasn't your fault."

Remus took in a sharp breath, as if she'd cut him. Thea didn't look up to see his expression. There was silence for a moment, and then he said, "You're crying." His voice was half-incredulous, half-touched.

"Yes."

"Tea's soaking into your pants."

Thea looked down. "So it is," she said with some surprise.

"It seems I've made a bit of a mess." He paused. "Sorry about that."

"Whit left the rag on the counter," Thea pointed out. "And there are more towels in the back. And a mop."

Remus nodded in acknowledgment and standing, went over to get the rag Whit had left on the counter. Thea stood up, wringing the warm tea out of her flared pant leg as best she could. She walked to the back to get more towels and the mop and bucket.

"You don't have to help," Remus said as she came back out. "It's my mess. I shouldn't have lost my temper."

Thea didn't pay him any attention, but knelt beneath the table and began sopping up the puddles of cold tea beneath Table Seven as he cleared the top of soggy cake, plates, empty mugs, and began absorbing the tea there with his own rag. By and by, Remus spoke again.

"I should've known," he said. His voice was low, full of guilt and hurt. "About…about Sirius. I should've known."

"How could you have known?" Thea asked. She finished wiping, stacked the wet towels on top of Table Seven and began mopping up the floor.

Remus shook his head, grabbing the towels on top of the table and putting them with the sad remains of the cake and the mugs. "There was this one time-"he said, "In school. He almost killed this kid. All of us- James, Sirius, Peter, and I, that is-all of us disliked him. There was this perpetual rivalry, you might say, especially between James and this boy. But Sirius almost killed him." His face darkened. "James saved the kid. He didn't talk to Sirius for weeks. Neither did I. But- but Sirius seemed so _sorry _afterwards. Claimed it had been a stupid mistake, that he would've died if the kid had actually gotten hurt. James believed him. I believed him. I shouldn't have."

"You trusted your friend," Thea said. "That's nothing to be ashamed of."

Remus snorted. "It is when three people have ended up dead," he pointed out, as Thea finished mopping the area beneath Seven. He helped her to stack the chairs on top of the tables, and then helped her take the dishes and soggy towels on the counter to the back, wiping the countertop after removal with the driest towel.

Thea shook her head as she began cleaning the dishes. "Just put the towels in the hamper on the bus bin," she said. "They'll have to do laundry tomorrow- a kid was sick earlier today."

Remus smiled ruefully. "You were having a bad day before I showed up," he remarked. "I've probably just made it worse."

"On the contrary," Thea said. "I'd wondered where you were. I was glad to see you this evening."

"Are you still glad?" Remus asked rhetorically, voice heavy with irony, gesturing to Thea's tea-soaked pant leg and the ruined chocolate cake she was washing down the disposal.

Undaunted, Thea replied, "Yes. It's always good to see you." She finished drying the last mug and hung it in its place. She turned to face him. "Remus, tell me, was that the first time you've lost it since they carted Sirius off?"

Remus' face closed down, and he crossed his arms, but Thea continued to look at him. Finally, he admitted. "No."

Thea raised an eyebrow, slightly surprised. "Bet its one of less than five, though, right?"

Remus' silence was answer. Thea went over to him. "Look," she said. "You're hurt. You're angry. You're alone. I…I can't even begin to imagine where you are right now. But one thing I do know. You must be going _mad_, keeping up that calm exterior. So just now when you knocked over the mugs? As far as I'm concerned, it's about time."

She shrugged, and took off her apron. She took down her ponytail and shook out her hair before retying it more securely. She grabbed her purse off its hook. "And trusting your friend is a good quality, _period_. I'm glad James and Lily were the type of people that trusted Sirius. I'm glad _you_ are, regardless of what happened."

Remus was staring at her, as if he'd never seen anything quite like her. "Can I trust you?" he asked finally, voice low.

Thea faced him. "If you want," she said, half-daring him. He looked as if he were teetering on the edge of a decision. She was there for him, but she wasn't going to make him open up.

She stood there, facing him, one eyebrow half-raised. And then, incredibly, Remus' face opened up. His eyes lit, and a soft, amazed smile crept over his face. He gave a short laugh. "I _must_ be mad," he said. "Come with me," he told her.

Thea nodded. "Alright. Where are we going?"

"We're going to the park. We're going to catch some fireflies."

**A/N: Alright! This was another toughie, but I've managed it. I've plotted out the rest of the story, actually. Plotted out, mind you, not written. This chapter in particular is another one where a Remus POV might come in handy. I might write a story later with three or four chapters from this fic in his POV, maybe with reference to other things going on in the wizarding world at the time- like when he went back to his friends from the Order, this new job he has now, the rise of Dolores Umbridge in the Ministry, etc. Hopefully I'll get out the next chapter, which takes place IMMEDIATELY after this one, before too long. **

**God Bless,**

**LMSharp**


	10. I Believe in Fairies, Thea

**Disclaimer: Yeah. Rowling's creatures, Rowling's plot, and one of Rowling's characters. Happy reading!**

* * *

><p>"I Believe in Fairies, Thea"<p>

Remus walked through the streets of London, moving with a swift, loping grace, and for all Thea's long legs she was trotting to keep up. "Remus!" Thea panted finally on the fourth block. "Look! I've no objections to catching fireflies, but isn't this a little odd?"

Remus looked back with a half-nervous, half-excited grin. The streetlamp flashed off his teeth and for a moment the lines of care were smoothed away and Thea caught a glimpse of the boy Remus might have been: shy and clever and slightly mischievous all at once. "More than a little," he said. "We probably shouldn't be doing it- but-"he shrugged. "You do say trust is a good quality. I _must_ be mad," he repeated, "But I'm going to take the chance. Come on!"

Thea couldn't follow the reasoning behind his strange words. The man seemed to be half-manic. "Can you-"Thea panted, "Can you at least slow down?"

Remus didn't answer, but he slowed a bit, anyway. He seemed to be vibrating with a nervous energy. Thea drew even with him, and he shot a glance at her. He bit his lip, and slowed still further. They were at the park gates, now. He stopped completely. He looked down the path, towards the bridge and the copse it overlooked. Then he looked back at Thea. Thea raised an eyebrow at him. "Well? Do you have a jar or anything?" It was a pointless question. She knew he didn't have one.

"We won't need one," he said. "Follow me. Go quietly, if you can."

He led her off the path, and over the grass, to the very copse where they'd more than once watched the large, constant fireflies dance. It was dark now. Very dark.

"I can't see," Thea said. "Maybe they're not here."

Remus looked around. "They're here," he said in a low voice, quieter than a whisper.

He gripped Thea's arm, peering into the darkness of the little stand of trees. He seemed to be able to make out more than Thea, for he led her into it, until they were in the very center of the mini-wood. Then he stopped, and knelt in the leaves. It made a soft rustling noise, and he pulled Thea down with him.

"Remus?"

He squeezed her arm. "Thea? Do you believe in fairies?" he asked, his voice now pitched at its normal volume, though undercurrents of fear and excitement ran through it.

"Remus- is it really the time? What's going on?" It didn't seem the time to be teasing her. Thea was utterly mystified. Remus cut her off.

"Because I do. Thea, I believe in fairies." Remus shifted beside her, and Thea heard him say a few soft words in a language she didn't recognize. Then there was a light to her left. Another appeared to her right and just above her head. Then the little copse in the park came alive with the dancing lights she had seen before from a distance. And they weren't fireflies.

Thea let out a gasp. The little stand of trees in the park- hardly a wood- was full of little _creatures. _The little things she had taken for fireflies were humanoid, no bigger than her thumb, all softly emanating a white light. One flew close and Thea saw its perfect little white teeth flash in amusement as it looked at her. She heard a little chirping that she assumed was laughter- or maybe language.

She turned to the man beside her- his face was illuminated in the light the little things gave off. He was looking not at them, but at her, and his face wore the most curious expression she'd seen on it yet- a mixture of mischievous and slightly smug delight at her astonishment, expectation, and fear all at once. "Remus, are they-"Thea trailed off.

He nodded. "Yes. Figured it might make up for the mess earlier and the loss of that truly excellent chocolate cake. Does it?"

Thea gaped at him, and went back to staring at the fairies. "How?" she murmured.

"They generally don't come out for Muggles," he said quietly. "And from a distance most people make the same mistake you did and take them for fireflies. But they do enjoy being admired. Vainer creatures you'll never meet. When I told them my friend wanted to see how pretty they were- well, that was all it took. Here-"he held out his hand and one of the tiny fairies alighted on it, turning around so Thea could admire it from every angle and grinning up into her face. It extended its little gossamer wings and made several poses. Thea extended her finger to it gingerly, and it touched the tip with its hand. The fairies hand was warm: much warmer than a human's- but it didn't burn.

"Its face is more pointed than I'd have thought," Thea observed, fascinated, "And- are those antennae? And well-" she stopped, seeing the fairy's rather vacant expression. "Can it understand me?"

Remus shook his head. "These aren't the Fair Folk of the stories," he said. "Not even your Barrie-variety common fairy. It's really just another animal, for all it's a very pretty one. They like to eat wood lice."

Thea shook her head in wonderment. "It's not just another animal," she said. "It's a fairy. It's…" she hesitated. "It's magical."

"Yes."

"Wow," Thea breathed. "Fairies. Just, wow. And you knew?"

Remus paused, looking a bit awkward. "Yes, I knew. This-"he broke off, and ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't plan this," he confessed.

"I gathered as much from the way you suddenly got up and dragged me here," Thea said drily. Remus looked down at his hands in his lap.

"This isn't easy," he said.

Thea looked at him, hard. "There's more, isn't there? Am I going to hear your story now?"

Remus made a face. "It's hard to explain," he said.

Thea looked around at the lights and a fairy struck a pose and stuck its tongue out at her. "Try me," she said.

"Alright," Remus said."You're a student. You've made a special study of legends and myths. Have you studied much history?"

Thea blinked. "I've done my bit," she said cautiously.

"What can you tell me about the Inquisition, then?" he asked.

"The Spanish Inquisition? Well, it started right around the same time as the Renaissance, established by Ferdinand and Isabella, I believe. The main purpose was to enforce the nation's Catholicism on Jews and Muslims, and to prevent heresies from popping up. Brutal stuff. They also dealt with witch trials, though that was more prominent in Germanic countries after the Reformation…" Thea trailed off. "There were widespread witch scares," she said quietly. "All across Europe, and in America. Witches." Her mind whirled. "Remus, I never would be saying this if I hadn't seen fairies tonight, but were there actual witch executions a few centuries ago? Not just widespread panic and the torture and killing of various weirdoes and misanthropes the town didn't get along with?"

Remus snorted. "Rarely. The witch hunters knew about magic. But they didn't know what it did, how it worked, or how to recognize it. Mostly it was the senseless persecution of various 'weirdoes and misanthropes' as you so quaintly put it. Witches and wizards did exist, though. Sometimes the various witch hunters would catch them, though, in that case, they usually couldn't hurt them. But sometimes they did, and the witch hunters definitely made themselves a nuisance."

Thea blinked in the growing darkness. The fairies were getting bored now that Remus and Thea were no longer admiring them. They were going back to their various hidey-holes. Her head spun with the information. She shook it to clear it. "Didn't they ever try to ask the witches and wizards for help with their problems, instead?" she asked. "Making friends with the local witch or wizard sounds a lot smarter than trying to burn them."

Thea heard the disgust in Remus' voice when he replied. "You'd think so, but that was worse. There were a lot more non-magic people than witches or wizards, though. Just imagine you're a witch- the entire village banging on your door day and night demanding magical help. And the Muggles didn't understand magic, like I said. They didn't know what was possible and what wasn't. And even if what they asked was possible, when there are hundreds of requests a day there isn't any peace. And if the poor witch in question refused to help-"

Thea got the implication. "Then that was someone with powers the person asking didn't understand. There was probably envy and frustration, and eventually someone called the witch hunters anyway. Probably the best thing that happened was that witches and wizards got expelled from polite society. They might have been driven out of their homes. Tortured. Killed." This was depressing. Thea made a face, amazed, but not nearly as thrilled as she had been moments ago. She snorted. "Bet witches and wizards are extinct, then. That's another thing on my collective social conscience. Extermination of witches and wizards. It can join the list with English involvement in the slave trade, the conquest and tyranny of the British Empire all during the nineteenth century, and our lack of decent dental care." She threw up her hands and laughed humourlessly.

Remus blinked at her. "What on earth are you on about?" he asked. "Come on, let's get out of these trees, in any event."

He stood, and grabbed her hand. He led her out of the trees and back to the path. Thea laughed again. "Sorry, Remus, but you have to admit it's a lot to take in. I think my shock is taking the form of word vomit, and very poor attempts at humour. Never mind that. Did they go extinct? Witches and wizards? Or are they still around like the fairies back there?"

Remus stopped her on the little footbridge. He dropped her hand, and stared at her. Thea felt her stomach drop. "Wait a minute, how do you know all this? You're not-"she swallowed.

Remus nodded slowly. "There are thousands of us worldwide," he told her. "Men and women born with innate magical ability, living out their lives in hiding with- other magical creatures." He jerked his head back at the mini- wood.

Thea felt suddenly faint. She gripped the railing, and felt an odd desire to run and to laugh all at once. But Remus' face was deadly serious, and there wasn't a trace of madness there. Amazingly, she believed him, but that created a whole slew of other problems. "Are you alright?" he asked.

Thea took one stumbling step backwards, and another. "No-" she stopped. "Yes? I don't know! Ask me again in a minute." She began walking out of the park, gesturing for Remus to follow her. He fell into step easily. "I'm altering my entire view of reality, here," she murmured. "You're a wizard?"

"Yes."

Thea processed, brow furrowed. Remus was watching her carefully. His hand was in his pocket, gripping something. Thea wondered if it was some sort of weapon. She shrugged that off.

"That woman. The one we ran into last month- Emmeline Vance. She was a witch?"

"That's right."

"She was a schoolmate of yours- from the school you went to with James, Lily, and Peter?"

"And Sirius," Remus reminded her. His voice was bitter.

"Yes, of course-"Thea said distractedly. "Is it a school of magic?"

"It is a school where British and Irish witches and wizards go to learn to use their magical abilities, yes."

Thea swallowed, and brought a hand up to rub her temples. She was getting a headache. "Right. Fairies. Hundreds of witches and wizards living in England- you're one of them! Anything else?" Her voice was slightly frantic.

Remus shrugged. "You were right," he said. "To some extent, almost every fairy tale and legend has some basis in fact." The words were meant to calm her, to make it sound like in some way she had anticipated this. Instead, they angered Thea. She'd talked about fairies and dragons with him hypothetically, more than once, and all the time he'd _known_! She must have sounded so _stupid_ to him with her daydreaming. "Of course," he added, "Like the fairies, they aren't always what you expect."

Thea laughed semi-hysterically. "Of course not! Look at you," she flung a dramatic hand out to him. "You look nothing like a wizard! How could I possibly have guessed you have magical powers? A more ordinary-looking bloke you couldn't find- _pathetic_ looking even!" She cut off, realising abruptly what she had said. She stopped, and turned. She grabbed his hand. "Oh, Remus, I'm sorry," she said immediately. "I didn't mean it!"

Surprisingly, Remus laughed. "Why not? It's true enough. I'm no Merlin in a beard or some dark-eyed, menacing enchanter, though I _do_ know people that look like that. Vance was wearing robes under her coat when we met her," he shrugged. "We're just people, Thea. Just ordinary people." He squeezed her hand and let her go.

Thea stared at him. She no longer felt angry, but now she felt a little self conscious. "No," she said. "_I'm_ ordinary people, Remus. What did you call it? Muggle? Am I a Muggle?"

Remus met her gaze with alarming swiftness and intensity. "Don't you start thinking it's an insult. Not for a moment," he said. "It's just a word- it'd be just like you calling me a wizard."

Thea wrapped her arms around herself. "But- you're in hiding. You and people like you. You don't- you don't think that I'd, I don't know, shoot you I guess, or tell everybody I know, or make you do spells for me, right?"

Remus shrugged, starting to walk again. His hand had left his pocket now. Thea fell into step with him. "You don't think I'd curse or enchant you, do you?" he asked in turn. "We're not as separate as you think. Some wizards and witches are born into Muggle families. Many marry Muggles, or have Muggle friends. My mother was a Muggle. Lily Potter- both her parents and her sister were Muggles. One thing I will tell you- because you're a Muggle you're automatically more technologically advanced than any witch, and you probably have a lot more common sense. Most wizards and witches don't have a problem with Muggles."

"But some do." It wasn't a question.

Remus shifted, and sighed. "Yes. Unfortunately. Magic is a power, like words or a knowledge of physics. It can be used for evil, and historically, those that use it for evil _have_ had a problem with Muggles, as any brute does with someone he thinks he has an advantage over."

Thea found herself a little reassured by his wording. He continued now, and his voice, which, up until now, had possessed a pleasant, even, instructing tone, now took on a harder, more personal one. "There's crime in the wizarding world; there are really evil people now and then. Just recently-"he broke off. He wasn't looking at her now. "Just recently we had a war with a very powerful, very evil dark wizard and his followers here in Britain. His name was Lord Voldemort, but he was so bad most people just refer to him as You-Know-Who, even now that he's gone. Too scared to say the name." His voice was faintly contemptuous, but mostly it was just sad and angry. "He was trying to take over, Thea. He _did_ have a problem with Muggles, and wizards that associated with them. You say you helped Ms Austin sort through the papers. Did you go back much further than November last year?"

"No- I left after I saw the article about Sirius," Thea said.

Remus thrust his hands into his pockets. "Yes, well there were mysterious disappearances, unsolved murders. It goes back for years. It was all his work- and that of his Death Eater followers. Those they tortured and killed were mostly wizards, but there were several Muggles, too. I fought him, Thea. The war had started before I got out of school, but the minute I did get out, I started fighting. We all did. Me, James, Lily, Peter, Vance…" he trailed off. "Sirius. Only thing was, Sirius fought on the other side."

Thea took in a deep breath. This made sense. As she put all the odds and ends she'd gathered about Remus, the weird disconnects and various oddities in his history all fit into this explanation of a war. A wizarding war. "You didn't know, though," she said. "He was a spy."

"He was a spy."

"And everyone thought it was you, didn't they?"

"James and Lily didn't. Never. But the rest of them, yes. They thought I was the spy."

"But you weren't."

"No." Remus was silent for a moment. "There was a prophecy, Thea. Some seer foretold that a child was to be born that could defeat Lord Voldemort once and for all, a child born at the end of July to parents that were very active in the fight. Both sides knew about it, and Voldemort-"he sighed. His voice sounded like it carried a ton. "Voldemort decided it referred to Harry Potter. It might never have come true if he hadn't; prophecies are very unreliable. But he decided he had to get Harry out of the way. They went into hiding. Only Sirius Black knew where they were- he'd been James' best friend for years. No one thought he'd betray them. But he did. Voldemort found them. He killed James and Lily."

"But- but not Harry?" Thea asked. "You said he's alive. Ms Vance said he's alive. He's living with his aunt, right?"

"Not Harry," Remus said. "Voldemort orphaned him, but when he turned his wand on that little boy the curse rebounded and blew up half the house. No one knows why, but no one's seen Lord Voldemort since. He's gone: defeated, if not dead. His Death Eaters have been rounded up and placed in Azkaban. The wizards and witches in Britain celebrated for weeks. They call Harry The-Boy-Who-Lived, now." His voice was ironic. "The kid will never have a chance at a normal childhood, even if he manages to survive his horrible aunt long enough to rejoin the wizarding world."

Thea digested this. Again, it was all so far-fetched, so amazing, but Remus' story made an awful sort of sense. The entire wizarding world had been celebrating November first. Everyone but Remus. "And Sirius?"

Remus nodded heavily. "Sirius. Of course, Peter and I knew what had happened immediately. We were both looking for him. Peter found him. He confronted him. Probably would have killed him- but…Black got him first. Desperate, angry that Voldemort had met his end, I don't know what was going through his head. I don't know how he managed to kill Peter. Little Peter- he'd trailed along after us for years- he couldn't handle a decent spell for anything- we'd all protected him. And Sirius murdered him. Him and twelve other people that didn't have any clue what was going on. He's in Azkaban now. He'll be there for the rest of his life. But if he wasn't, he'd be dead. I'd have killed him." The words were quiet, but they rang out with conviction. Thea shivered.

She didn't know what to say. The facts were basically the same. Remus' friends had died; they'd been murdered; Sirius was a traitor. But now Thea knew the context it made it all so real and miserable. Remus wasn't a victim of unfortunate fate; he was the battle-scarred, reluctant survivor of what sounded like a long, bitter war. So she nodded, and grabbed his hand. She squeezed. They were maybe a block away from her flat.

"Why tell me?" she asked.

Remus smiled a bit sadly. "I really shouldn't have," he said. "There's a law. The Statute of Secrecy. And I couldn't really file for an exception in your case. You didn't _need_ to know. But-"he hesitated. "I wanted you to know."

"No more mysteries," Thea said quietly.

Remus smiled at her, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. "Very few," he said.

Thea nodded. That was fair. He'd told her everything of recent importance to him personally, and a great deal more than he was supposed to, by the sound of things. "Thank you," she said, as they arrived at the foot of the stair leading to her flat. "For trusting me."

Remus gave a little, weary, crooked smile. "Are we alright?" he asked. "You're not too terribly freaked out, are you?" The words were half-teasing, but it was an honest question, and Thea treated it as such. She thought for a moment, and answered honestly.

"I am freaked out," she admitted. "A little. But not as freaked out as I was when I thought you'd been in a gang dispute or had connections to the mob." She laughed a little, and put a hand on his shoulder. "You've done nothing to be ashamed of," she told him. "And from the sounds of it, you've done a lot to be proud of. You're a brave man. Braver than I even thought you were. I'm glad I know you, Remus Lupin, even if you _are_ a wizard with weird magical powers." She gave him a smile. "Thanks for walking me home."

"I'll see you?" Normally Thea said this at the end of one of her talks with Remus. She was always half-afraid he'd disappear. But the words came from him, this time, half-eager, half-afraid. He ducked his head briefly, embarrassed, but then looked up, seeking.

Thea nodded. "You'd better." She regarded Remus for a moment, then stepped to him and hugged him. At first, he stiffened, but then, tentatively, his arms went around her, and he held her tightly. After a moment, Thea let go. "Good night, then."

Remus looked at his watch. "Good morning," he said wryly.

"Good morning, then." Thea turned and took the stairs up to her flat. Behind her, she heard that crack she'd heard a few times before. When she looked back, he was gone, and for the first time, instead of being bewildered, Thea smiled. _Now you see him, now you don't, _she thought. _Magic._

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><p><strong>AN: I LIKED writing this chapter, and it only took me a couple rewrites to get it right, too. Hot off the presses, this is. We're about halfway done now, and the next chapters are very happily angst-free. I'm glad- I was getting tired of the heavy-duty trudging through tragedy. For a while, I'm going to focus on the friendship, before I go adding any more drama or start to end it. I hope you're enjoying reading half as much as I'm enjoying writing.**

**God Bless,**

**LMSharp **


	11. Ace and Danger

**Disclaimer: Despite my long time away, I have been unsuccessful in changing the status of the ownership of Remus Lupin. I very much fear it shall be a lifelong sorrow of mine.**

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><p>Ace and Danger<p>

Outside her apartment the sun beat down on the flowers Thea had planted in the window box. It had been a good year so far, neither too wet nor too dry, and a lovely spring was giving way to a golden summer. It was the sort of day that made Thea's blood race through her veins until her skin itched. She longed to be off, to be walking through the city hallooing at random strangers. But for now, she was stuck indoors, next to the fish bowl, on the telephone with her family.

Thea made a face at Larry the Goldfish as he swam around in his bowl on the kitchen table. He burbled at her, mocking her. Thea loved her family. She really did. She was unhappy if she didn't see them at least once every month. But she absolutely hated telephoning them. She hated telephones in general. The voices sounded all wrong, and she lost all the nonverbal parts of conversation. And today, the phone was keeping her _indoors_, when she wanted to be _out_. Would be, too, before too long.

Still, unless she talked on the phone with her family at least once a week, Ginnifer in particular started fretting that she had run into some dire misfortune and was expiring in a ditch someplace. Thea rolled her eyes as she thought of it. "No, Gin, I'm not dead yet," she told her sister. Ginnifer's tinny laugh sounded over the speaker. The first time Thea had told her that it had been a joke, but over time it had become code for _I'm fine but I don't want to talk_. "I can't talk long anyways; I'm going out in a minute."

This was sufficiently novel information that on the other end, Ginnifer's voice focused. "Out? Where?"

Thea sighed. "I'm going tenpin bowling," she said.

"By yourself?" Over the phone the difference in voice was barely detectable, but Thea could guess that Ginnifer's face had probably sharpened with interest.

"No. With that friend of mine I told you about last week when I was there: Remus Lupin."

Nowadays Thea was seeing Remus most every week, sometimes more often, since school had let out for the summer. They would talk, or walk around town, or just loaf around Mel's or Thea's flat. Once, too, Thea had been to Remus' place, a shabby flat not dissimilar to her own about five or six blocks away. She'd had to consciously try to keep her mouth shut and her eyes inside her head that time, as a cauldron stirred itself and the painting he had of Churchill had thrown out suggestions for taming her hair and criticised her blue jeans. Remus had become enough of a part of her life that he had snuck into the conversation when she'd visited home; she hadn't, of course, told her family any details, but only that he'd been a friend of hers for a while now.

"You're going tenpin bowling with Remus. On a Friday." Ginnifer's voice was layered with meaning. It insinuated and begged for details all at once. Thea clutched the phone in frustration.

"Not that way, Gin," she said.

"You're not going out with Remus?"

"Well, technically, but not in the way you mean," Thea said, a bit flustered. "Just- it's not like that." There was a brief, awkward silence on the other end of the line.

"It's not?" Ginnifer asked then.

"No." Thea said, flatly and firmly.

Thea heard her sister sigh. "Shame, that. For a second there I thought you actually had a date. You really should try to find someone, you know," Gin began to lecture. "You'll be twenty in August, and you've never even gone out once with a fellow. Not even for some ice cream and a talk."

"Oh, yeah, and you've been dancing around the subject with Paul for what? A year now?" Thea retorted acidly. "We agreed that I'm going to be the cool spinster aunt for your and Faith's kids."

"_We _didn't agree on anything," argued Gin. "You decided that all on your own. Look, Thea, you just need to have more confidence in yourself. You're fabulous. Really. Any guy on earth would be lucky to have you."

"Then I can take my time choosing, can't I?" said Thea. She heard a knock on the door. "Look, Remus is here. I have to go. Love you, Gin. Give dad and Faith a hug for me."

"I will. Have fun."

Ginnifer hung up, and Thea did the same, and went to answer the door, feeling rather like a prisoner granted parole. He was there, dressed casually for him in a faded blue t-shirt and blue jeans. His jeans were just a little too short, and the knees were worn. He looked younger than he had in a while, and healthy, for him. Thea had noticed, these past few months, what Ms Austin had told her about in the spring. Remus did seem to be ill a great deal of the time. Every so often he'd show up pale and drawn, or Thea wouldn't hear from him for three weeks, only to be told later that he'd been ill. But for all that, he'd held on to the job he'd gotten at a magical pet store after leaving Ms Austin. He was a healthy weight now. He'd had a haircut recently, Thea noticed.

She grinned at him. "Hey, Remus. You ready?"

"No," he confessed. Last week Thea had told him about going bowling with Erin and Bernie and Ashley recently, and he'd admitted that it had been years since he'd gone. Thea had been incredulous, and once she had recovered from her shock and considered the state of her coffers, she had immediately insisted they go and rectify the situation. "You'll probably humiliate me," he told her.

"Oh, most definitely," Thea said, polishing her nails on her shirt with a haughty air. "I have infallible aim. I hit the gutter every time." She looked up at Remus slyly through her lashes, and he let out a surprised laugh.

"Well, in that case." He turned, and Thea grabbed her bag off the couch and followed him out, locking the door behind her. The sun shone, and a light breeze blew through the streets. Thea and Remus walked companionably through the streets of London towards the bowling alley Erin had shown Thea a few weeks ago. Truth be told, Thea hadn't been bowling in some time herself before that. And it was a shame, too, she thought. Thea wasn't a sport-type person. She couldn't run to save her life. Her athletics coach in gym back in early high school had actually exempted her from school sports, generally mandatory, as a school embarrassment. But bowling was more of a game, and if nothing else, it offered plenty of opportunities for Thea to laugh at herself, much like ice skating did in the winter. She hoped that this evening Remus would join her in the laughter, at her expense or at his own.

Thea looked at him. He was telling her about an annoying customer he'd had the past week, about her exhaustive questions about the different species of owls (apparently wizards kept owls as pets- Thea had been both delighted and slightly scared when she'd met Remus' own Archimedes- didn't they bite?) and her insistence that her owl was afflicted with some strange disease that he knew for a fact didn't exist. Thea wasn't informed enough to agree, but she could definitely sympathize with the annoying customer bit, and did. It was good to hear him talking so normally- well, as normally as a wizard _could_ talk, she amended- about something so completely unimportant. Remus really was beginning to get better, though he did still have days when his face was like a mask and when, if he spoke, he snapped.

Thea reflected on Gin's misconception about the two of them. It wasn't the first time someone had thought her friendship with Remus was different than it was. Bernie had been of a similar opinion, until Thea had set him straight. It wasn't that she hadn't thought about it, she thought, with a sideways glance at him. She'd been right before, when she'd first been getting to know Remus, to think that he could be attractive. He _was_ attractive, now that he'd gained some weight and smiled sometimes. His attractiveness was of the quiet, unobtrusive variety, just like himself, but it was there. Furthermore, Thea liked him; she enjoyed his company more than almost anybody else's. But Thea was well aware that Remus probably still didn't need any drama, romantic or otherwise, for all he sometimes told her about conversations with his coworkers and old schoolmates now, for all that he hadn't been nearly so closed off and mysterious lately. It was a tentative, new confidence and competence he had, and the last thing Thea wanted to do was to shatter it. Besides, she _knew_ how to be Remus' friend. Ginnifer was right about her total lack of romantic experience. Thea would have no idea how to be anything other than a friend to anyone, let alone to Remus. She was happy with what they were, and fiercely defensive against anything that might hurt it.

Remus broke in on her reflection. "What are you thinking about?" he asked.

"Oh, of 'ships and sails and sealing wax,'" Thea said airily.

"'Cabbages and kings'?" Remus answered. "I thought you didn't like Carroll."

"I don't. But you have to admit that's a great line."

"I never said it wasn't. But I'm not the one that minds Carroll. Really, though, how are things?"

"Fine. I was talking to Gin before you showed up," Thea said. She shrugged. "I'm starting to worry, too, a bit. This is my last summer, you know. Starting in September, it's my last year of university."

"Isn't it only your third year, though?" Remus asked in faint puzzlement.

Thea just looked at him. He nodded. Thea appreciated how he didn't remark on the oddity of her finishing school early the way most others would have done. Remus was like that. "Right. Congratulations, then."

"Congratulations aren't in order," Thea informed him. "I've no idea what I'm going to do, Remus. I thought before I started that I wanted to be a professor. Learn and teach all my life." She made a face. "Now I figure if I ever see the inside of a school building again after next year, it'll be too soon. I still love to read, but…" she trailed off.

"You're tired of school."

"Yeah. Just a bit," Thea said. "But I don't want to work at Mel's my whole life, either. I'm not Whit. I want to have adventures!"

Remus frowned. "What kind of adventures?" he asked.

"I don't know," Thea said. She laughed a little. "Silly, right? I ought to have it figured out by now. But I don't. Not even a little. I just- I write. I want to have something to write about. I want to do something good- something worthwhile. I want to add something to the world."

Remus smiled. "You do that just by being you," he told her. "I'm sure you'll figure it out. You've got time. You're young."

Thea laughed at him. "What, and you're not? Idiot. You only turned twenty-two in March. By the by, I'm still mad at you for not telling me that Saturday we were planting that it was your birthday."

Remus rolled his eyes. "I'm too old to celebrate birthdays," he informed her with a put-on, haughty air. "What would you like for yours, anyway? It's coming up, isn't it?"

"August. But you don't have to get me anything. Maybe I'm too old to celebrate birthdays, too." Thea made a face. "Twenty. What kind of a year is that?"

"Nothing happens from seventeen to thirty," Remus said.

"Eighteen you're considered an adult," Thea reminded him.

Remus shook his head. "Not when you're a wizard. We come of age at seventeen. Tend to marry younger, too. But for all that, we may live to one-hundred and fifty." His face twisted for a moment, and Thea knew he was thinking of his friends that hadn't even lived to twenty-two, but he brought it quickly under control. "Go figure."

Thea kept both her amazement and her sympathy under wraps and replied in a light, bantering tone, "One hundred and fifty. And you call _me_ young. You might live to be one-hundred and fifty. I _might_ live to be eighty. If we think about our respective ages as relates to our potential lifespans," Thea paused, calculating rapidly. "I've lived nearly twenty-five percent of my life. You've yet to hit fifteen percent!"

"I'm still older than you, Madame Mathematician," Remus said.

"By two years," Thea retorted. They'd come into sight of the bowling alley. Ten year old pop music came from the open doors. "Come on, Mister Geriatric," she teased him. "Let's get some shoes."

They entered the alley. It smelled of greasy pizza and stale nachos and feet and echoed with the sounds of balls hitting pins and Yellow Submarine. Thea grinned. She walked up to the bored-looking blonde popping her chewing gum stationed at the front desk. "Welcome to Connelly's Bowling," the woman drawled without looking at them. "Bowl three games and you get a half-price pizza. What can I do for you?"

Thea waited until the woman looked up. "Hello, Jessica," she said. The woman looked confused. "Name tag," Thea told her. "How're you doing?"

Jessica blinked. "Um- fine," she answered.

"One game and a shoe rental," Thea told her.

The blonde, still with an air of pleased confusion, gave the price and Thea paid it. Behind her, Remus asked, "What, we can't wear our own shoes?"

Thea shook her head. "Nah. We turn 'em in at the counter over there for special bowling shoes. We can get them back afterwards." She glanced sidelong at Remus as she put her wallet back into her bag. "How long did you say it's been since you last went tenpin bowling, again?" But Remus had taken her place in front of Jessica and was paying his own fare in exact change. Thea grinned. He still hadn't shaken that habit, though it made more sense to her now. He'd explained last month that on a day to day basis he used a completely different monetary system- the wizarding monetary system.

Remus waved at Jessica. "Thanks! Have a nice evening," he called as he came to join Thea. She blinked at him and started to grin.

"Yeah, you too," she replied. "Both of you. Enjoy!"

"No one thanks service workers," Thea observed. "You probably just made her day."

Remus smiled. Then he looked over at the rental counter apprehensively. "So we give up our shoes and wear rentals that someone's used before us? Is that how this works?"

"Yep," Thea said, popping the 'P'.

"That can't be hygienic," Remus muttered.

Thea grinned at him and grabbed his hand. "Come on," she said. She went up to the rental shoe counter, stripping off her own shoes. She beamed up at the tall, dark-skinned man behind it. "Hello-"she checked his nametag, "-Clive. How're you this afternoon?"

"I'm just fine, miss," he said, pleased by her notice. "And how're you?"

"Quite ready to humiliate myself in front of the entire alley," Thea answered cheerfully. "Thanks. It'll be two pairs of shoes. One for me, one for my mate here."

She put her shoes on the counter. "Right," the man said, checking the tag in Thea's shoe. "A size 7 1/2, is it? And you, sir?"

Remus told him, putting his own battered trainers on the counter warily. The man went away with their shoes and shortly came back with the thin, leather bowling shoes. Remus inhaled, and made a face. They did stink slightly, Thea thought. "There you are, miss," Clive said. "You just tell me if you have any problems whatsoever."

"Thanks," Thea said. She gave a jaunty little salute and picked up the shoes. Remus stared at the shoes briefly. Thea grinned at his obvious discomfort. "Go on," she said. "It's not like they're gonna kill you, Remus."

She walked over to a nearby bench and sat down. She wiggled her fingers above the laces and scrunched her toes slightly. Remus looked down at her feet, and smirked. Thea traced his gaze to her long, narrow feet, currently encased in a bright purple pair of socks decorated with orange cartoonish cats. He raised his eyebrow at Thea.

"Shut up," Thea told him, flushing.

"I didn't say a word," he said, grinning nonetheless.

"Shut up," Thea repeated. "They're cute. And look at you! You're all boring, Remus." She pointed at his plain white socks with disgust.

Remus didn't say anything. He just grinned wider. He laced up his own bowling shoes. "Shall we have a go, then?" he asked.

Thea stood. "We shall." She plunged forward towards the lanes.

The two of them decided to take Lane 13, and once Thea had put down her bag at the corresponding table, they went over to fetch their balls. Thea selected a moderately heavy green one- though she seldom exercised she was rather strong, if not at all athletic. Remus picked up one of the same weight, and frowned.

"Shouldn't it be heavy?" he asked.

"Heavy enough to knock down the pins and to give you some control, but not so heavy that you can't bowl it without hurting yourself," Thea said distractedly, stretching a little.

Remus lifted the ball and tossed it from hand to hand, still frowning. Thea looked at him. "Is something wrong?"

Remus shook his head, replaced the ball, and instead grabbed the heaviest ball on the shelf- an enormous black one. Thea blinked. Remus had put on weight, but he was still a thin man. "You sure that's the one you want?" she asked.

He nodded, though he was still frowning. "I'm sure," he said. He lifted it as easily as if it was a gallon of milk, and Thea bit back an exclamation. Remus had to be much, much stronger than he looked, to be able to do that.

He led the way back to their lane. He looked a bit nervously at the pins set up at the end of the greased wooden floor. "Er…um…after you," he murmured, bowing. Thea held back her laugh at Remus' obvious nervousness and at his old fashioned mannerism.

"Thank you, good sir," she said, and took up her awkward stance. The minute she bowled the ball she knew it wouldn't work. It started rolling slowly down the lane, spinning more than it should, and about halfway towards the pin took a sharp left hook and made its home in the gutter before continuing to roll in a leisurely fashion towards the back of the lane and the ball return machine. She winced, and then started laughing. She turned, and taking her cue from Remus, bowed formally.

"Thank you, thank you, amazing, I know," she said.

Remus caught her wry expression. "I gather it wasn't supposed to go off like that," he said.

"Not in the slightest. But that's okay," Thea said cheerfully. "I get another go before it's your turn."

Accordingly she stepped up to the mark again, took two swift steps forward, swung the ball back in her right hand and let loose. This time the ball waited to hook until the end of the lane, and managed to knock down a single pin on the left.

Thea turned back to Remus. He was smiling. He clapped a few times politely.

Thea shook her head at him. "Go on, then," she said. "First turn. Make it count."

As Thea watched Remus take his monstrosity of a bowling ball up to the line, it confirmed her suspicions that this was the first time Remus had _ever_ been bowling, not merely the first time in years. He was mimicking _her _stance and form, and they were bad to begin with. He swung back his arm, and bowled.

The ball hit the lane with a resounding THUD and screeched over the greased floor as it flew down with truly impressive velocity. However, he seemed to have not aimed at all. The ball ran all over Lane 13, skidding left and right, and at the end of it seemed almost to circle the pins before slamming into the back of the ball return with an echoing crash that made Thea wince a little and caused the middle-aged couple in Lane 10 to look over. Thea let out a low whistle. "Wow," she murmured, applauding slowly.

"That was…interesting," she told him as he turned to her again. "How do you even get it to go that fast?"

Remus shrugged. "I get another go?"

"Yeah, the ball return should cough up your ball right about…" The machine made the weird gulping sound it always did right before the ball came back. "Now."

Remus took it, and frowned at the pins. He bowled again. This time the ball _bounced_. Thea hadn't even been aware that bowling balls _could_ bounce. It bounced over the gutter and right into Lane 14, where it proceeded to roll into the right gutter. The heavyset mustached man next to them blinked and whirled. "Dude!" he cried. "You're dangerous!"

Remus bit his lip, and flushed a bit. His hand went to his hair in a nervous gesture Thea had become accustomed to. "I am sorry," he said, but then he smiled, and laughed a bit. "I suppose I am rather dangerous," he said to Thea. "I might have exaggerated a bit when I said I'd done this before."

"Really?" Thea asked, voice heavy with sarcasm. She clapped him on the shoulder. "I'd never have guessed, _Danger_."

Remus grinned, and crossed his arms. "Because you're so much better, Ace," he said mildly.

Thea stuck her tongue out at him and strode up to the mark to take her next turn. She managed two spectacular left-gutter balls. Remus applauded her sarcastically after each bowl, but Thea bowed and blew kisses just like they'd been strikes. A trio of seasoned bowlers that had just walked in stopped to watch her. When they saw the scoreboard they raised their eyebrows in silent amusement.

Remus actually managed to hit three pins on his next turn. One of them broke, though, and behind her Thea heard a few murmurs. She let out a whoop. "Nice going, Danger!" Remus smiled a bit ruefully, but lifted a hand in acknowledgment.

By the time they were halfway through the game, three or four groups of bowlers had congregated behind Lane 13 to watch Thea and Remus. Thea had accumulated a grand total of fifteen points in her ten bowls, but always played things up spectacularly. Remus was winning by rather a lot. He'd gotten a couple strikes- though this seemed not to be a function of any aim of his, and pins were just as likely to scatter out into Lane 13 or off in the gutter as down the back like they were supposed to. There was actually an employee stationed on the island between 12 and 13 with a broom to push the pins Remus scattered every which way back where they belonged. Remus had also bounced into Lane 14 once more; Thea had thought for a moment the bowler there would get angry and kick up a fuss, but Remus had apologised so well, and been so good-humoured about it, and meanwhile the spectators had been cheering. In the end he had simply smiled ruefully and had withdrawn to watch with the rest.

At first, some of the bowlers had called out advice. There had been this one good-looking chap named Geoffrey that had asked Thea a few times whether or not he could instruct her on the best way to avoid the left gutter. At first, Thea had been inclined to accept his offer, but then when she realised his offers of help were not being extended to Remus, who, after all, was the new bowler here, she had simply winked at him, blown him a kiss after an epic failure, skipped back to Remus and dared him to do worse. Geoffrey had smiled reluctantly, and joined in the applause.

Thea supposed her attitude was catching. By round six, a light had come into Remus' eyes, and he'd begun to joke with Thea. His jokes were much cleverer than hers, if quieter. Together, it seemed the two of them beat a comedy routine. By the end of their game, the small crowd that had gathered to watch was laughing and cheering at every ball they bowled. Their nicknames had caught- Thea guessed that for the next week or so the regulars would remember 'Ace' and 'Danger' even if they failed to remember Thea and Remus.

Thea was reveling in the attention, but still more in Remus' reactions. Far from annoyance, offense, or discouragement, Remus was laughing as good-naturedly as anyone in the alley. He actually looked more cheerful than Thea had ever seen him.

When they finished their final bowl, a short, wire-haired man with rosy cheeks and twinkling black eyes came up from the crowd, clapping slowly. He introduced himself as Simon Connelly, manager and owner, and informed the two of them that they had kept him thoroughly entertained. They'd kept the whole alley entertained- the best it had been since a teen garage band had played a gig there two months back. After learning their names- and that it was Remus' first time- Mr. Connelly offered the two of them a free pizza.

Remus and Thea gratefully accepted Mr. Connelly's generous offer. They were hungry after their ordeal. After their fans had dissipated and gone back to their own games ('Nice last pitch, Danger!' 'Hey, Ace, will we see you around any time soon?'), they sat down quietly in the back of the alley and Jessica brought them the pizza. Thea helped herself to an enormous slice and grinned at Remus.

"So, 'Danger'," she said. "You _might_ have exaggerated when you said you hadn't been in a while, huh?"

"Still beat you, 'Ace'," Remus retorted, but he was smiling.

"I didn't almost take off take off someone's leg," Thea said. "I really think you would have, if Mr. Roberts hadn't jumped out of the way." She took a bite out of her pizza. It was greasy, and had too much sauce, but it was good, nonetheless.

Remus laughed. "Touché. You got me. I've actually never been."

"I never would've guessed." Thea's voice was heavy with sarcasm.

Remus looked around a moment. "I've actually never played any- any of your sports at all," he said. By 'your', Thea knew he meant 'Muggle'.

"Are they different, then, where you're from?" Thea asked lightly. "Do you play leap frog with giant frogs or something?"

"No," Remus said, shaking his head in amusement. "Where'd you get an idea like that? That'd be stupid. No." He looked around again. Everyone had lost interest in them, for the time being. No one was within hearing distance, and the music was blasting anyway. "No, we play Quidditch. It's our sport. Played on broomsticks, with four balls and six hoops."

"Wait- broomsticks?" Thea said. "Actual broomsticks that _fly_?"

"Yeah," Remus shrugged. He grinned a bit sheepishly. "'Course, I was never good at that, either. I commentated, sometimes, back in school. James played, though. He was excellent. Team Captain; scored more goals than the rest of the team put together. And Harry- he looked like he was going to take after his dad. He was flying before he could walk, almost."

"His parents let him fly? On a broom?" Thea said incredulously.

"It was just a toy," Remus assured her. "It didn't go more than a foot off the ground, and not very fast, either. And it wasn't Lily's idea. Sirius gave it to him." His face darkened, as it always did when he spoke of Sirius, no matter how harmless or even enjoyable the memory. "Sirius played Beater, on the Quidditch field," he informed Thea.

"Beater?"

"It means he clubbed balls at people," Remus said. "Actually, come to think of it, Bludgers aren't much different than these bowling balls. Smaller, though. No holes."

"Wait a minute. You're telling me that in Quidditch Beaters bat bowling balls at people?" Thea asked. "How does this game work again?"

Remus launched into a detailed explanation of Quidditch. It sounded like a very erratic, very dangerous game, in which almost all of the seven players had different objectives and there were all sorts of ways to get hurt. Thea laughed a bit at the end. "Can't say I'm too sorry you were awful at it," she said. "I can't imagine what would've been left of you if you played, if you played Quidditch at all like you bowl. It sounds like a mess."

"Fun, though," Remus grinned. "Here I can only toss a ball into the wrong lane or send it down the gutter. Imagine all the ways I could make a spectacle of myself in Quidditch."

"Or break your neck," Thea muttered, finishing her pizza.

"Come on, then," Remus said. "I think my feet are melting into some sort of toxic puddles in these shoes. Let's go."

With a last wave at the bowlers who gave them smiles and waved back amiably, and a final thanks to Mr. Connelly for the pizza, Thea and Remus collected their trainers from Clive and left the bowling alley.

The sky was darkening as they walked back to Thea's flat, and the day was cooling. Above the buildings, the waxing half-moon was just rising. Remus looked up at it, and his hands dug into his pockets. "Danger, huh?" he said quietly. "And you're Ace. How unfortunately true, on both counts." Thea laughed at him.

"C'mon, I was worse than you. You beat me, remember? You were quick enough to point it out before." Remus didn't smile, and Thea frowned. As he was prone to do, Remus had changed thoughts and moods like a weathervane. His cheerful smile and teasing demeanor were gone now. "That wasn't what you meant, was it?" she asked him.

Remus wasn't looking at her. His eyes were locked on the moonrise, and Thea saw by its light that he looked old again, the man she'd known for months now, rather than the young laughing man of the bowling alley tonight. "You can't honestly think you're _dangerous_," Thea said. He didn't answer. "So, yeah, you're a wizard. Freakishly strong, too- you hide it well, but I noticed tonight. But still! You're one of the most harmless blokes I've ever met or heard of. You're a real gentleman, Remus. And for sure I'm no Ace." She grabbed Remus' arm, pressed it, tried to make him understand.

He looked at her then. "But you are," he told her. "You're brilliant." The words were so certain.

Thea looked at her shoes, embarrassed. "I'm a university girl. A waitress. We're just about everywhere."

"You're not," Remus said with conviction. His words were kind, but his face was still grim, deeply lined with troubled thoughts. But by and by he smiled again, though it was not the smile of earlier in the afternoon. "Thank you," he said. "Tonight was fun. Actual fun."

"It's been a while, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"It was good to see you laugh," Thea murmured. She didn't look at him, but bumped his shoulder with her own lightly as they came up to her flat. "Don't let it be the last time, hey?"

"I can't imagine how it would be," Remus said. Thea hugged him briefly. "I'll see you?" he said.

"You know it. 'Night, Remus." She walked up the stairs, and into her flat. She opened the back window wide, and looked up over the buildings of London at the moon. She stroked an open blossom with an absentminded finger. Summer was here, with the promise of many golden afternoons to come. She'd had an absolutely lovely time tenpin bowling on this one. She recalled the cheers and the laughter, and tales of Quidditch over greasy, free pizza. Things were brilliant. Just brilliant.

Perhaps that was the source of the shadow that had fallen over her heart just now. It was about time for something to go wrong, and there was a bend in the road approaching rapidly. After summer, Thea knew, autumn came quickly.

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><p><strong>AN: Super sorry about the wait. I hope you're still with me. Not only have I been rather busy lately (Frankly I'm pulling my hair out), but this chapter was also particularly difficult. I've found to my chagrin that I write angst and tragedy a great deal better than funny friendship. It's part of the reason why I've never been able to finish a Marauder-era Hogwarts fic. I can't write pranks for the life of me. Anyway, the next one SHOULD be easier- I'm bringing in another Rowling-stock character and the situation's quieter to begin with than Connelly's bowling alley. I might have it out sooner- but things ARE still crazy so I can't make any promises. **

**About certain romantic or pre-romantic aspects to this chapter? I maintain what I said before. This WILL NOT turn into a Remus/OC romance. It remains a Remus character development piece. I have something else in mind for Thea- coming up quite soon, actually. Nevertheless as an artist, I cannot and will not ignore the fact that there is SOMETHING there between Thea and Remus- in a bittersweet what-could-have-been kind of way. And there's also something to be said for addressing character points in Remus that will later come into play in his very real relationship with everyone's favourite Metamorphmagus in canon. **

**Thanks for reading. I hope you're enjoying. Leave a review as you head out. I'll appreciate it.**

**God Bless,**

**LMSharp**


	12. Bishop to Knight

**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Her Majesty, Queen Jo Rowling, and this humble peasant makes no claim to it.**

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><p>Bishop to Knight<p>

Thea's senior year was about a month away, and her twentieth birthday was in three weeks. Summer was at its height. The heat pounded down on the pavement of the city, and Thea was fighting destiny to keep the plants in the window box alive. At home, Thea knew Larry the Goldfish would be swimming languidly in his fishbowl, despite the air conditioning, and today Thea had had to remind herself that she didn't get an extra hour to get to work.

She had been scheduled early today, because Georgie had been to her dad's birthday party. Georgie was working Thea's usual shift at the café tonight. The late lunch people had stopped coming about an hour ago, and the early supper crowd was just getting in when Georgie showed up.

She was beaming, and she shook Thea's hand. Georgie beaming was quite a sight. She was a lovely girl with coffee coloured skin and curly hair- about three years older than Thea and just out of university herself. In fact, if Thea wasn't mistaken, tonight was Georgie's last night at Mel's. She'd given Mr. Foster notice about a new job at some bank. Thea would have to get on that herself, she thought.

"Thanks a mil, Ramora," Georgie was saying. "Dad was thrilled that I could make it- and little Rita- my niece? She got her face all smeared with cake. I got pictures. You got plans tonight?"

Thea shrugged. "I'll probably just hang around with a friend of mine. Play board games. Nothing too fancy. Hey- my love to Erin, Clyde, and Bernie when they get here. And- if I don't see you again, you were brilliant, you know?"

"You've got my number," Georgie said. "Call me if you ever need a favour. You get out of school, soon, right?"

"Yeah- next year."

"You won't be happy here forever, as cool as everyone is. Phone me, when you're looking to get out, alright Thea? Banks get a lot of business."

Thea nodded. "Bless you. G'night!" She grabbed a bit of pastry that Miles the luncheon cook had sent her off with, and headed off into the alley. Georgie waved at the door.

"G'night."

Georgie was a good sort, Thea thought as she ambled down the street. Thea might take her up on that offer, someday. Mel's was a good place. The Fosters were dears, good bosses, really. And though everyone she worked with got on her nerves every now and then, for the most part, they were her friends. But Georgie was right. Thea couldn't be happy as a waitress forever. And that life was rapidly coming to an end. She could feel it. She just didn't know what was coming next.

Thea walked easily, skipping a step here and there or kicking a stray bit of gravel. She whistled a snatch of one tune, and then another. A nosy little midge tried to follow her, and she waved it off impatiently. Last night she'd left the note signed T. Ramora on the door to her flat explaining about her schedule change, and this morning when she'd headed off there'd been a few lines scrawled beneath it.

_Thanks for letting me know. How about we meet up early, after your shift? My place? I've got something I want to show you. -R. Lupin. _

This was their standard way of communicating schedule changes now. Usually, Remus would just show up at Mel's or Thea's flat late on Saturday, but sometimes, when that wouldn't work, one or the other of them would leave a note on Thea's door. Thea never heard him putting it there, but always after she left something a response would be there the next day. She wondered sometimes how he knew.

Thea wove her way through back-alleys and half-deserted, forlorn looking streets. Remus' neighborhood wasn't much worse than her own, but it _felt_ like it was. The street lamps were a bit different, here, and gave off less light. Or at least they would, when the sun went down. There were a few stray cats around, too: thin, mangy-looking things with wide, unfriendly eyes that just added to the forgotten and far-away air of the place, though in truth Remus' flat wasn't five blocks from her own.

The building he lived in was a tall and skinny old one. The brick had probably been yellow, once, but grime and neglect had stained it a sort of sandy brown. Thea quickly climbed the four flights of stairs to get to Remus' floor one flat, and with the iron knocker knocked three times.

The door opened. "Thea. Hi," Remus said, stepping aside so Thea could enter. "How are you?"

Thea turned to look at him, and he shut the door. The lighting was low, but Thea pursed her lips. "Might as well turn up the lights, then, Remus. I can tell."

Remus looked a bit chagrined as he adjusted the lights. Despite herself, Thea winced as the light threw the figure of her friend into sharper relief. "You look awful," she informed him. "Been ill again?"

Remus shifted, and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah," he said. "It's nothing serious, really."

Thea shook her head. "Nothing serious? You look like a ghost, Remus! And- is that a black eye?"

Remus smiled a bit. "Trust me, I look nothing like a ghost. I know a few ghosts. They'd be offended by the comparison."

"Right. You know ghosts." Thea rolled her eyes. "Of course you do. Seriously, though, Remus, it's like every month you show up looking like you've done ten rounds with a tornado, or something. Here- I brought some pastry."

She handed over the bag she'd brought from Mel's. "What is it?" Remus asked, rustling the bag.

"Apple fritter, I think," Thea said. "Enough for the both of us. I know the chocolate's your favourite, but Miles made this, not Clyde."

"Great. We'll serve it up with some sausage and have a proper tea," Remus said. "Go ahead and sit down, Thea. I won't be a moment."

Thea made her way into Remus' tiny living area and sank onto his deep, comfortable brown sofa. Remus' flat was comfortably cluttered, but not really messy. A few old job applications sat over on top of the overflowing bookshelf, which was full of books Thea knew- like _Sherlock Holmes_ and the _Encyclopaedia_, but also ones she had no idea about- like the _Charms Handbook_ and _What is a Person: A Study of Mermaids, Centaurs, House Elves, and Other Intelligent Creatures. _Over Thea's head was a very large portrait of Winston Churchill that sometimes talked, though at the moment the famous Prime Minister was snoozing in his frame. When Thea had asked a few weeks ago, Remus had told her that no, Churchill wasn't a wizard, but the paint gave a sort of magical life to the portrait, anyway.

There was a hooting sound, and a large, stately looking barn owl floated to rest on the armrest beside Thea. "Oh, hello, Archimedes," Thea said a bit nervously. Remus' owl made a clicking sound with his beak and twisted his head a bit. So far, Archimedes had proven to be a very friendly, but Thea could never quite wrap her head around how very, very sharp his beak and talons looked. Gingerly, she reached out a hand and stroked his feathery head, though, and he hooted a bit reassuringly, standing up a little taller to follow her hand as she tried to draw it away.

Thea smiled. Remus came in just then with two plates of food and mugs of tea. "Traitor," he told his owl mildly. He sat down in the armchair across the way. He was very controlled, but Thea could see the tell-tale wince as his muscles relaxed. Remus was very tired, and probably sore. Thea could never identify exactly how Remus had been ill when he had been. He never coughed or sneezed or blew his nose or looked feverish in the least. In fact, the times Thea could definitely tell he'd been sick he usually looked rather like he'd come off the worse in a fight, or like he was just really tired.

Archimedes spread his wings and drifted over to sit on Remus' knee. Remus stroked his owl's wings for a moment, then handed the lovely thing a sausage. "Oh, go on, then," he said fondly. Archimedes flew off to wherever he'd been and Remus leaned forward.

"So. How've you been?"

Thea was eating her pastry. "Alright," she said. "It's Georgie's last night at the café, tonight. Thursday all of us had a party for her. It was kind of fun. Bernie got sloshed and tried to kiss her." Thea grinned. "Ashley and Georgie _both_ slapped him. Mr. Foster, Erin, and I just laughed." Thea took a sip of tea. "She offered to help me find a job, Georgie did, when I'm ready to leave Mel's."

"Did she? If you could do anything, what would you do?" Remus asked.

Thea chuckled. "Anything? I'd be a knight, of course. Ride off into the sunrise on my faithful steed, lance held high, to fight for God and queen and country. Adventure after adventure! Dragons and recreant knights. Damsels in distress. Hold on," Thea paused. "Make that handsome princes. Be a bit weird if I went around saving damsels in distress." She grinned. "I might even challenge recreant wizards, who knows?" She brandished her fork at Remus, scowling ferociously.

He laughed. "You have to watch out for those recreant wizards. You read too much. And that's me talking. Really, what do you want to do?"

Thea shrugged. "Who knows? I could do just about anything, me. Will, too, just you wait."

"I believe it," Remus said.

Thea frowned, thinking earnestly now. "I've said it before. I'd like to do some good in the world. As long as I'm serving somebody, meeting some need, I'll be happy enough, whatever weird form that takes." She shook her head. "So. You said you wanted to show me something?"

Remus grinned. "Yeah. D'you play chess?"

Thea raised her eyebrows. "A little. My dad taught me when I was a kid."

"Want a game?"

"Is that a challenge?"

"You bet," Remus said, bringing out a wooden board from under the coffee table. He opened the set up. "Alright, men- and queens- out you come."

"Hurrah! Into the fray! The glory of battle!" cried several tiny voices. Thea gasped. One by one little black and white stone people came out of the set, screeching out battle cries and hoisting weapons the size of Thea's pinky nail aloft.

Thea stared at Remus. "Can I?" she breathed.

"Sure," said Remus, obviously delighted at her surprise. "The magic's already in the pieces. It was enchanted before I bought the set. You'll just need to tell them where to go. White or black?"

"Um- white," said Thea. "Do they- do they have names? Will they die?"

Remus shook his head. "Don't worry. It's still a game. You can name them if you like, but they'll just forget again next game. They talk and take other pieces, yes, but captured pieces go over to the side to wait. They actually get rather annoying- they keep calling out advice from the sidelines, see." His eyes sparkled. "White- this is your commander, Thea Ramora. Black, take your positions!"

"Affirmative, sir!" the black pawns yelled. The right bishop whinged, "Oh, do we have to? I was having such a nice conversation with left white rook, too."

Behind her, Thea heard a snort, and realised Winston Churchill had woken from his nap. "What, what?" he said sleepily. "Oh, is it a battle, then? Capital! But who is your friend, Lupin?"

Thea sighed. "It's me, Winnie," she said wearily. Winston Churchill might have been a brilliant prime minister and a great man. But his stupid portrait never had a single good thing to say about her.

"Mr. Churchill, if you don't mind, girl," said the painting.

"Just ignore him, Thea," Remus said, smiling to see Thea's scowl. "You know he acts the way he does just to wind you up. Says you're a sight to see when you're angry."

"Oh does he?" Thea cried, whirling on the portrait. Behind her, Remus laughed, and Thea stopped abruptly. She fumed. "Forget it," she growled. "Let's play."

Remus grinned. "Your move," he said.

Wizardry made chess more difficult, Thea observed after five minutes of play. It was just so noisy, when the game required strategy and careful thought. Remus' chess men taunted her while she tried to think of moves, and her own chessmen were continually calling out advice, complimenting her captures, or begging for their lives, depending on what she was doing. Live pieces made her favourite strategy near impossible, too. She couldn't pretend to have no plan, inserting random good moves in every few turns, when the chessmen constantly were hollering out the difference, accusing her of useless moves at one turn and favouring her cleverness at another. She growled in frustration, and had to switch to actually thinking. And all the while Churchill called out advice over her shoulder ("Continuous effort- not strength or intelligence- is the key to unlocking our potential!" "Fear not, my dear girl, war is mainly a catalogue of blunders!") . It was maddening!

In addition, Remus was actually a very good opponent. He took advantage of the least little slip of hers with a ruthlessness she never would have attributed to him. He urged on his men with taunts much cleverer, if not as profuse, as their own. Several times during the game Thea wanted very badly to slap him.

She was having the time of her life. Thea was at her absolute best when she was being mentally challenged. In class, she was that kid- the one that argued with the teacher and was always ready with an in-depth answer that connected to another curriculum point. When talking to others, she discussed ideas over events, and when it came to games, the more mentally involved the better.

Chess was great. It was involved on so many fronts. Wizard's chess was better. Focusing took more energy, and to move required more conviction. She was winning, now, but only just. Any minute it could change. Remus was obviously thinking further ahead than she was, he was calmer than she was, and she knew from experience that he was every bit her intellectual equal. He was enjoying himself, too: exercising his mind in the game and reveling in Thea's newness to the magical pieces. Thea had observed before the joy he took in astonishing her.

Thirty minutes in, Remus was winning, but Thea was fighting hard. She couldn't stop smiling. "Why so happy, Thea?" Remus wanted to know. "You know I'm going to kick your butt."

"You wish!" Thea shot back. "Gracious, you should've shown me this ages ago. Your Majesty? Back to B4, please."

"It shall be as you say," called up Thea's king.

"Victory shall never be ours if we continue on the defensive!" cried Thea's lone knight.

"Nor shall it be ours if we press forward only to be captured at the point of Her Ladyship's sword," said Thea's bishop, bowing respectfully at Remus' haughty queen. She looked pleased by his deference.

"Let us perish bravely in battle, if that is our fate!" retorted the knight. "Better that then this endless cowering! Are we dogs? Shall they call us craven? Let us perish, I say!"

"Perish?" said a captured pawn from the sidelines. "Who said anything about perishin'? We're fine! Absolutely spiffin'!"

The knight turned his little stone face away. "It was a figure of speech. Peasants," he muttered. Remus grinned at Thea over the chessboard.

"Oh, shut up Galahad, and let Remus move," Thea told the knight, trying not to laugh.

"Really now, you could be a little politer," murmured the bishop in disapproving tones.

Remus ordered his rook to move in reach of Thea's bishop.

"Yes sir!" said the rook in question. Thea glared at him.

"They don't give you any trouble," she told him, accusation in her voice. He smiled innocently at her.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said. He was in high good spirits now. His tea, sausage, and half of the fritter had been eaten, shared out between himself and Archimedes, and the game had brought color to his face. He looked better than he had when Thea had arrived, she thought.

Thea was about to order her bishop to take Remus' rook, when she noticed that to do so would be to bring her bishop within the clutches of Her Ladyship. "Oh, honestly," she said, offended by the trap. She turned her attention to the knight, preparing to send him after the queen instead, when the bell rang.

Remus blinked. "Who could that be?" he asked.

"_I_ don't know," Thea told him. "It's _your _flat." Remus shrugged, and got up, going to the door. "Oh, saved by the bell," Thea muttered. Winston Churchill snorted.

"My dear girl, he was trouncing you."

"'An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty,'" Thea told the painting slyly.

"Who told you that…wait just a moment…" Churchill began to bluster as he recognized his own words. Thea smirked as he tried to work out what to say next. Archimedes fluttered over to her, and she ran a finger over his wings as she heard Remus open the door.

"Oh," he said. His tone made Thea sit up straight. His voice had suddenly gone flat. "Hello, Professor," he said.

"Good evening, Remus," said a cheerful voice. Thea could tell it was an old man at the door, though the voice was oddly melodic for its age. "I have been looking for you. I shall have to thank Mr. Tidwell for the tip-off as to your location."

"Professor-I'm rather afraid I have company," Remus said haltingly.

"I'd love to meet them," said the newcomer placidly. Thea bit her lip.

"Er- well, come in," Remus said. He emerged into the living room, and behind him, Thea saw a figure in the shadows of the doorway. "Thea, I'm afraid the game will have to wait," he told her, looking awkward. "Might I introduce Professor Albus Dumbledore, headmaster at Hogwarts? Professor- this is my friend Thea Ramora." He stepped aside then, and in stepped the most wizardly looking wizard Thea could have imagined.

Professor Albus Dumbledore stood very tall, taller than Remus, and stood straight for all that he had to be over eighty years old. His blue eyes twinkled behind half moon spectacles, and his beard and hair were both silver, and fell down to his waist. He wore long purple robes and buckle shoes, and the stick tucked into his belt was obviously the magic wand the likes of which Thea had only ever caught glimpses of in Remus' sleeve.

The professor's eyes flickered over the scene, over the chess pieces complaining about the stall in the game, to Winston Churchill's painting ("Good evening, Professor Dumbledore, sir,"), to Archimedes perched on Thea's blue-jean clad Muggle knee.

Thea's mouth went dry. She looked at Remus in a panic. His face was pale, and his jaw was tight. She wasn't supposed to be here! She remembered what he had told her about the Statute of Secrecy, and how he was breaking it by letting her in on this part of his life.

Still, less than three seconds after Remus' introduction, Thea gathered herself. "Right, then," she said. "Troops- best march back home. The battle has just been cancelled. We'll have to wait another day to vanquish Remus." The chessmen must have caught onto her tension, because black and white pieces alike bowed and marched back into the bowels of the set without comment or complaint. Thea placed the lid back on the set, and stood. Albus Dumbledore regarded her with mild curiosity, Remus with fear and pleading.

She locked her knees, to keep them from trembling. She had asked once, and Remus had told her, how wizards dealt with Muggles that found out about their existence and weren't supposed to. Albus Dumbledore could charm her memory right now if he chose, and Remus was on no legal ground to stop him. "Hello," she said. Her voice came out much quieter than she would have liked. "Um- you were Remus' headmaster, weren't you? Nice to meet you?" Thea almost stamped her foot when the words came out as a question, but she extended her hand as calmly as she was able.

To her surprise, Professor Dumbledore took it and shook it. "Miss Ramora," he said. "The pleasure is all mine." His words were firm, assured, and courteous. Thea relaxed, and in the doorway, so did Remus.

"Professor- might I get you anything?" he asked. "Tea? Butterbeer?"

Professor Dumbledore beamed. "How pleasant, to drink and talk with friends," he said. "Tea would be wonderful. My thanks, Remus."

"Sit down, sit down," Remus said, with a wave of his hand. He still seemed rather nervous. "I'll bring it out." He hurried off to get up another tea, and Albus Dumbledore sank into the armchair across from the sofa, fingers steepled in front of him.

Thea shifted, biting her lip. Remus had mentioned Albus Dumbledore's name before. Thea remembered, from that strange conversation he'd had with Emmeline Vance. Albus Dumbledore was the wizard responsible for Harry Potter's residence with his aunt, and not Remus. She'd also heard enough then to guess now that he'd been very prominent in the war. A headmaster at a wizarding school, in any event, must be a very powerful and influential wizard. "Professor," she said quietly, "You don't just visit Remus, do you? You had to ask someone else how to find him. He was surprised to see you. Whatever this visit is, it's important. Would it be better if I—"

"Don't even think about it, Thea," called Remus from the kitchen. "I'm making you up a peppermint tea!"

Thea gaped, and Dumbledore smiled at her consternation. "I've found that Mr. Lupin possesses an extraordinary sense of hearing," he told her pleasantly. "Among other things, it made him an excellent prefect when he attended school. By no means let me drive you out, Miss Ramora. It is as you say. I have intruded here- hopefully Mr. Lupin and yourself will not find my short visit too objectionable- but I rather suspect you are an invited guest."

Thea's cheeks heated up, and she finally reseated herself on the sofa. Professor Dumbledore took her silence for answer. Archimedes floated across to greet the newcomer. "What a magnificent owl," he said, scratching along the barn owl's eye ridge. "New, is he?"

"Since I've had you to tea, yes," said Remus, entering with three mugs of steaming tea. Thea supposed he'd used magic to speed up the process. He handed Dumbledore a mug and then sat next to Thea, sliding another mug over to her. "Peppermint- though why you'll drink that stuff and not actual tea continues to escape me. It's not very British of you."

The effort was clearly intended to relax her, and it worked, a little. Thea smiled, and settled back. "Now. Professor. What can I do for you?" Remus asked.

"Ah, straight to business, is it? Very well, then," said Professor Dumbledore. "I find myself once again lacking a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts."

Remus blinked. "What, really? Again? Has there been one that's lasted more than a year since Professor Bennett left after second year?" he asked.

"We do seem to go through them, don't we?" was Dumbledore's reply. "In any event, Remus, I was wondering if you might consider taking up the position."

Thea grinned. "Brilliant! Remus- you'd be great-"she turned to Remus in excitement, and stopped cold. The young man's face was tight, his eyes hard.

"I don't really think that's a good idea," he said quietly. "Besides, I have a job."

"Yes, at Mr. Tidwell's marvelous pet shop," Dumbledore said. "I discussed it with him prior to coming to you. He's quite amenable to letting you go should you decide to, though he did say you were a wonderful employee. He's not desirous of holding you back, you might say."

"He's been very good to me," Remus said, though he was frowning in annoyance. Thea couldn't tell if it was Dumbledore or Tidwell that had provoked it. "It's still not a good idea, Professor," he said. "I'm too young to be taken seriously."

Thea rolled her eyes. "So you'd break a few dozen witches' hearts," she said. "Remus, you'd make an awesome teacher. How many times have you taught me things and I didn't even know I was learning? Carroll, history, you name it!"

"I too, must stress your suitability for the job. If I didn't think you could do it, I wouldn't have come to you," Dumbledore said. "Defense was always your strong suit at school. You received an 'O' on your NEWT for it, I believe. Age has nothing to do with knowledge of a subject. Severus Snape is your age; he is teaching Potions at Hogwarts."

Remus clutched his cup suddenly so tightly that his knuckles went white, and Thea tensed. There was a long silence. "And does Sni- does Severus know you're extending this offer to me?" he said lightly when he could speak. "I cannot imagine that he would approve."

"I have spoken with him," Dumbledore said dismissively. "He is- less than overjoyed- but he has agreed to work with you if you should take the position. It is time to lay old feuds to rest- time to rebuild, Remus." The words were gentle. "There is much the students at Hogwarts could learn from you."

"Oh, yes, there's an awful lot I could tell them," Remus said, his control slipping. "How much of it they'd want to hear is another matter- Professor- it's not safe! It wasn't safe then- and now-"he looked at Thea suddenly, and his lips clamped shut. Dumbledore's eyes widened slightly, and he, too, looked at Thea.

Thea was dead still. There was something else to Remus, then. She'd known there was- he'd said as much, the night he told her about wizards and magic and the war. He was unusual- even for a wizard. And apparently, he thought himself dangerous because of it. She held her gaze steady.

Dumbledore looked sympathetic. "What we did then, we can do now," he said gently. "No one need know—"

"It's not only that," said Remus in an undertone. "Though that in itself would be reason not to go. I just- couldn't. I couldn't go back to Hogwarts, even for a day. There's too much- too many-"

"Too many memories?" Dumbledore said in his gentlest tone yet. "You were my first choice- but if you are so certain…"

Remus only nodded. "I'm sorry," he said simply. Thea reached out and took his hand in her own. She squeezed it tightly, feeling at once how woefully inadequate it was. Remus shuddered. "Was there anything else, Professor?" he asked after a moment.

"There was, actually," Professor Dumbledore said. He looked right at Thea then. "Remus, my friend, you should be careful. Do you remember one Delores Umbridge? She was a Hufflepuff, I believe, a few years ahead of you at Hogwarts."

Remus tensed. "I remember," he nearly spat. "Vividly."

"She started at the Ministry a few years back," Dumbledore went on. "She has made quite an impression. They have just promoted her."

"Have they?" Remus asked. "What department?"

"The Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Madame Umbridge has just been promoted to a position of some influence within the Beast Division," Dumbledore said. Thea had no idea what this meant or how it related to Remus, but she felt the temperature of the room drop about twenty degrees.

"Well," Remus said after a long, pregnant silence.

"Quite. Like I said, my dear boy, you should be careful." Dumbledore sighed then, and smiled sadly. "I'm afraid I must be going, Remus. I am terribly sorry you won't come teach. You would have been magnificent." He stood. "Miss Ramora- it has been a delight."

"No it hasn't," Thea said bluntly. "We're all upset now. Don't pretend this has been some delightful garden party." Her intonation was matter-of-fact, not accusing. She stood, surveying Dumbledore's face. He looked genuinely regretful. "You'll be able to find another teacher, won't you?"

"I daresay I shall manage," said Dumbledore. "And I thank you for your concern." He shook her hand again.

"Professor-" Remus said, breaking his black silence and looking up. "Thank you for the offer. Really. And the warning."

Dumbledore nodded. "I shall see myself out," he said. And he did.

There was a long silence. "I suppose there's no use trying to play another chess game?" Remus said after a moment.

Thea sat down in the armchair Albus Dumbledore had just vacated. "Not much, no," she said. She studied her hands in her lap. "You don't have to tell me," she said after a moment. "Whatever it is that you're not."

Remus looked guilty, relieved, and miserable all at once. Thea sighed.

"Just- tell me- am I going to get you into trouble?"

Remus hesitated. "Dumbledore won't tell anyone," he said. "But…" he trailed off. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.

Thea swallowed. "Would it be better if you just took out your wand and charmed me so I forgot all of it?" she choked out. "We could still be friends…"

Remus shook his head. "I couldn't do that to you, Thea," he said forcefully. "Never. This is who I am. I wouldn't want you to forget. Besides, I promised never to use a spell on you just like you promised never to try to burn me at the stake." It was a miserable joke. Thea didn't laugh.

"We're kind of stuck, aren't we?" said Thea. "You and me. We're stuck around any other wizards. I can't say I'm family- that I watched you grow up and so I know you're a wizard that way. We're not dating or married-"she snorted, and Remus twitched. "I can't ever visit your world- I can't even _visit_- without tipping everyone off that you're breaking the law. And you don't really fit into mine, do you?" She smiled sadly. "I mean, you pay in exact change, Remus. You'd never been tenpin bowling before I took you, for crying out loud. You stick out, you know. You don't look like a wizard, but you don't look normal, either. And you're not happy pretending to be, are you?"

Remus didn't say anything. He just looked at her, eyes desperate. Thea sighed. For the first time, she realised that maybe this friendship wasn't a good thing- that perhaps her bond with Remus would just lead to bad things for both of them. And Remus had been through so much already. She got up then, and moved back over to the sofa to sit next to him. She tucked her feet up, and leaned against him, and his arm went around her in one of the timid sorts of hugs he sometimes gave her. But this time it stayed.

"We're stuck," Remus said quietly. "Can you not care? Can you stay anyway? Please?" Thea knew he didn't mean tonight- knew that she'd leave in just a few minutes. Remus was asking the same thing they always did at the end of the night- _I'll see you?_ – more honestly than either of them ever had.

Thea nodded, heart heavy. "Yeah. I'll stay."

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><p><strong>AN: So I realised pretty early on that this couldn't be a happy story with an "And They All Lived Happily Ever After" ending. Remus doesn't GET a Happily Ever After. His life doesn't work that way. So I figured that as much good as Thea does him, their story can't have a happy ending, either. They can't always be in this stasis- in this little quiet bubble that's just them and Mel's and not much else. The wizarding world needs Remus Lupin- it's starting to catch up with him now. And Thea has to move on, eventually. So this is your official notice of the beginning of the end. There's just four more chapters and a massive epilogue that I have planned.**

**Up next: "Crossroads", which I ought to have written some time before next year. Seriously, guys, I am super sorry about the wait. I'm usually really good about having at least a chapter up a week, but this story is taking more out of me than any other story I've ever written. It's a combination of my busy schedule, the lack of starting subject matter as compared to my other stories, and the enormous emotional content I have to get right in each chapter. I hope I haven't disappointed yet. **

**Leave a review, even if I have, and I'll keep getting better!**

**God Bless,**

**LMSharp **


	13. Crossroads

**Disclaimer: Free characters! Free story! Nowhere near as good as the original. Which is why Rowling has millions of dollars and I'm still eating ramen in my seventies' apartment. This is Fanfiction. I'm making no profit.**

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><p>Crossroads<p>

Thea sat under a tree, heedless of the autumn leaves that fell on her every now and then when the wind decided to whistle gently. In one hand, she held an apple that she took bites out of thoughtfully. In the other, she held one of the books they were selling over at the Crossroads Publishing table at the book fair, looking over it. It was a little book of thoughtful essays compiled from several different authors: childhood anecdotes, sketches of nature, musings on the nature of man- not too terribly different from the stuff Thea herself sometimes wrote. Except that these essays were polished. And published, Thea thought ruefully.

She looked over at the maroon-draped table, where Sarah Knowles and her boyfriend Patrick Scott were still selling Crossroads Publishing books, sold at a discount at this enormous book fair sponsored by Thea's university to advertise little-known or growing companies.

Georgie Hess had called last week from the bank with the information about the internship open at Crossroads Publishing. Her old school mate Sarah Knowles would be there at that book fair the university was having, she'd said, with a couple of her co-workers. There had been four of them working the table, but one had had to drop out due to a conflict, and Sarah was at her wit's end to find a replacement. Georgie had recommended Thea.

"What?" Thea had said, surprised and not altogether pleased.

"You were going to be there anyway," Georgie had replied. "Aren't you interested in getting into publishing? Sarah told me they're looking for an intern. This would be a great opportunity to get to the people hiring, girl! Get your foot in the door. I'm handing this to you on a silver platter!"

When she put it like that, of course, Thea had had to swallow her nerves and thank Georgie. So it was Saturday, and the quad was bustling with people, and once Thea was done with her lunch break, she'd go back to selling books with the reps from Crossroads Publishing.

There were three of them. There was Sarah Knowles, Georgie's friend, her boyfriend Patrick Scott, and a third man called Rhys Davison.

Sarah was a petite, dark-haired woman, with positively enormous grey eyes. She was just three years older than Thea, and very friendly. Sarah was quick and clever, and every bit as nice as Georgie. She was an editor at Crossroads. She'd seen at once that Thea was a bit nervous, and had been trying ever since to put her at ease- not without some success. As they had talked, too, she had mentioned little things about the books they were selling. How they were formatted, how long she'd spent editing this one or what she'd done to get that one ready for press. Thea realised what she was doing. Sarah was teaching her little things about the editing business, about Crossroads Publishing. Things she'd need to know if she applied for the internship. It was a little thing, probably a favour to Georgie, but Thea appreciated it, and vowed to be worthy of it, starting by selling the books they had at the book fair as best as she could.

She thought she'd done rather well so far, actually. The customers seemed to like her, particularly the children. Thea thought her sales might have impressed Sarah's boyfriend, Patrick Scott, an advertiser and marketer for Crossroads. Patrick Scott was a quiet man, thoughtful of face and neat of build, with a head full of flaming red hair. Thea had observed so far that he had a good sense of humour, and he seemed to be a shrewd, precise sort of man. He obviously loved Sarah a lot, and she loved him, but Thea couldn't say that she liked him very much. She didn't _dislike_ him- he was just sort of _there_.

Rhys Davison didn't actually work at Crossroads at all. He was apparently a school friend of Patrick's. From what the two had said, Thea gathered that Patrick had helped Rhys to get his first material published a few years previously, and that since, he'd done rather well as a professional writer. He was working the book fair as a favour to Patrick. He was a strange sort of man, prone to flights of drama or poetic fancy, but there was no denying that he was a clever one. Thea didn't know just where to place him. He wasn't as friendly as Sarah, or near as sensible as Patrick. He'd put her off balance several times this morning- and it was a rare one that could do _that_- but still she couldn't say she disliked him, either.

She'd been happy to see Ms Austin when the tiny librarian had dropped by around ten. She was working a refreshment stand right now, on behalf of the university, but she'd come early to talk to Thea. Thea was glad she'd let Ms Austin know where she'd been working. Selling books and working to make a good impression on three new people at once had been freaking her out a little, and Ms Austin's tight hug and cheery chatter had done a lot to help Thea relax and open up to Sarah, Patrick, and Rhys. She hadn't stayed long. She had places to be, and Thea was working, but she had mentioned before she'd gone that Remus had visited her the week previously, and that she'd told him about the book fair and the masses of books that would be available at a discount.

"That man loves books about as much as you do, Thea," Ms Austin had said. "I wouldn't be too surprised if he shows up. If I see him, I'll point him your way."

He hadn't shown up yet, but Thea wasn't too worried. Tonight she was working at the café, directly after she got off here. It would make for a long day, but a productive one. She might see Remus there, too.

She returned her attention to her book, pitching the apple core into a nearby garbage receptacle without looking. The essay was a particularly good one- an in-depth sketch of a lonely Canadian cabin in winter. Thea found herself particularly enjoying the author's rich descriptions, the way he put so much emotion into relatively few words. She looked up the author's name again, and was surprised- and impressed- to find that Rhys Davison had written the essay in question.

"I hope I've no cause to be ashamed of myself," said a voice. Thea looked up to see the man himself, holding two hot dogs. Rhys swung himself down to sit next to her, and tapped the cover of the book Thea was reading with his free hand.

Thea closed the book. "Yes- you've written several in here, I noticed," she said. "No worries, though. They're very good."

"They're the first ones," Rhys said. "The ones that Pat over there helped me publish."

Thea nodded thoughtfully. "I particularly like the one I was just reading- the one about the cabin in Canada. You've been to America?"

"I wouldn't venture to write of it if I hadn't," Rhys replied easily. "Here," He handed her one of the hot dogs he was holding. Thea shook her head.

"Oh- I couldn't- I've just had an apple I brought."

"Just the apple?" Rhys frowned. "You're not a vegetarian, are you?"

Thea laughed. "No- it's just- I don't have any money."

Rhys smiled then, "Don't worry about it. Sarah thinks it's going to get really crazy here in a bit. That apple's not going to hold you- and you'll need your strength. On the other hand, here I am with _two _hot dogs. I can't believe I was stupid enough to get two. I mean, look at them, they're _ginormous_." He held one up to demonstrate.

Thea grinned. Truth be told, she was a little hungry still. "So I'd be doing you a favour if I ate one, really," she said.

"Exactly," Rhys said, with emphasis.

Thea took the hot dog, and lifted it up as in a toast. "Cheers," she said, and both of them took a bite.

"So," Thea said after a minute. "Tell me about America. I've never been. My dad took me to the sea, once, but other than that I've never been anywhere too far out of London."

"Oh, it's different," Rhys said."Everything's so much bigger, for one thing. People are- quite a bit ruder, actually. But I didn't spend much time in society. I spent most of my two months in America in that cabin in Canada."

"What's Canada like?" asked Thea, undeterred.

Rhys shrugged, wiping a bit of relish from his lip with the hot dog paper. "Cold- where I was- and inhabited with a great many moose." He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. "Beautiful, though. The sky just goes _on_- and you should see those mountains."

Thea leaned back against the tree. "I'm going to, one day," she told him. "Oh, I'm going to see it all. I have stories to tell, too, you know." Rhys opened his eyes and looked at her. She grinned. "Songs to sing."

"You were singing earlier," Rhys observed. "Before I came over- when you were all by yourself over here. You've had some training?"

"Yeah," Thea said. "On and off- all my life up until about two years ago."

"Are you in a choir anywhere?"

Thea looked down. "I was," she said. "Voice, too." She shrugged, and gestured about her, at the university. "But they aren't too kind about taking classes not in your degree plan here. I wasn't going to make a career out of music, so I had to stop."

"But you still sing all the time." It wasn't a question.

Thea tucked a wayward curl behind her ear. The topic made her a little sad, and a little uncomfortable. "Yeah. I can't remember a day I've ever gone without singing."

Rhys was looking at her with an expression she couldn't quite place. Thea shifted. Rhys was good looking- in a nerdy sort of way. He was neatly built, with straight, very dark brown hair. His eyes were a very bright, almost electric blue. Even behind his wire-rimmed glasses, his stare was a bit disconcerting. Thea imagined what it must be like without the spectacles. Blinding, she thought.

"Twenty," she said. "This past August."

"And you told Sarah you're graduating in May?" The words were curious.

Thea looked at him. "I skipped a couple grades," she said flatly. He nodded, seeming to realise he should change the subject.

"So- you're looking to qualify for the internship, right?"

Thea nodded. "I am. I'd like to get into editing, like Sarah." She suddenly smiled. "How'd you think I'm doing- just between us? You think I'll have a shot when I apply?"

Rhys grinned. "Well all those books we're selling aren't down to my charm," he replied. "You're particularly good with the kids. That last eight year old you showed Wilhelmina Stroud's book to loved you. You're easy and pleasant to talk to." He shrugged. "I'd hire you. But that's just me. Do you write at all?"

Thea was pleased. "A little," she said. "Not like you."

Rhys was quiet a moment. "I'd like to see your work, sometime," he said finally. "That is, if you'd be comfortable showing me." Thea blinked. Apparently he assumed they'd be meeting again. Thea thought a moment, and was surprised to find she looked forward to that meeting. She hoped to see Sarah and Patrick again, naturally. She wanted the internship. It was high time she finally stepped away from Mel's. It was October. She'd finish her degree in a matter of months. But though she didn't have to see Rhys again, she wanted to. He was interesting to talk to. She liked him. And he was interested in her work?

"I'd-I'd like that," she managed finally. "It's not- that is, I don't know where I could publish it- what I write. Maybe in something like this," she said, shaking the book of essays. "But not by itself. I have no idea how to go about it. My stuff's good- but it's different. Almost journalistic." She shrugged, a bit self-consciously. Rhys looked intrigued.

"Maybe I could help with it. I know some people-"he hesitated. "You'll have to show me, sometime."

Thea nodded. "So-"she said. "What do you do? When you're not writing, that is?"

Rhys grinned. "Oh, when I'm not writing I'm usually researching to write, or finding a story to write. I do some freelance journalism, here and there. I'll go sit sometimes, in the middle of the city, and I'll people-watch. I'll wonder about the harried looking man going by- if he's somebody's henpecked husband or if his boss is just Hades incarnate. Or the woman with the briefcase- if she's really as driven as she looks or if she feels that she has something to prove." His words conjured the people up out of the air. Thea could see them in her mind's eye. She'd done people-watching like he'd described more than once as a waitress at Mel's. "Or the girl sitting off by herself under a tree, surrounded by hundreds of busy people at a book fair," Rhys said suddenly. "I might wonder what her life is like. What's she thinking about?"

Thea felt her face go hot. "She's probably not thinking much of anything," she said. "Just- what the October wind's singing about in the leaves overhead. Or of how far we are from heaven and how close we are to hell. Maybe she's thinking about the colour yellow and the sound of a heartbreak. And perhaps-"Thea said lightly, "Perhaps she's merely contemplating upon how much better it would be if dragons breathed orange marmalade, instead of all that sulfurous, odious flame."

She laughed a little at her silliness, and looked up. Rhys was looking at her again. Slowly, a grin spread its way across his face, growing wider and more brilliant until his eyes lit up and his nose crinkled. Thea's stomach flipped over, a little.

"Thea!"

Thea looked over to this new voice, and blinked. She'd almost forgotten that Ms Austin had said Remus might be coming by. There he was, the afternoon sun shining of his sandy hair, in that ever persistently shabby tweed suit. She grinned. She stood up, brushing the leaves from her pants, feeling a slight sense of relief as her head settled. She waved him over. "Remus, hi!" she said. "Glad you could make it. Rhys- this is Remus. He's my- he's a friend of mine." Thea frowned. It wasn't quite the right word for what Remus was to her, but it was as close as she could get. "Remus- this is Rhys Davison. He's working the table with me."

Rhys climbed to his feet, dropping his hot dog paper into the receptacle and extended his hand to Remus. Remus took it. "Glad to meet you," Rhys said.

"Likewise," Remus answered. "How's it going?"

"Sarah and Patrick are handling things for now," Rhys replied. "I actually ought to go relieve Sarah in a minute. She and Patrick are overdue for lunch."

Remus frowned, and Thea caught her cue. "Yeah, I ought to relieve Patrick, too," she said, a bit regretfully. "You want to see what we've got? Actually-"Thea handed Remus the book she'd been reading. "Check it out. It's a book of essays. I think you'd like them. Rhys actually wrote a few of them."

Remus took the book, but looked at Rhys. Thea took the opportunity to dispose of her own hot dog paper."You're a writer?" Remus was asking Rhys.

"I do a bit here and there, yes."

Thea rolled her eyes. "Don't buy it, Remus, he's actually quite good," she said.

"So are you," Remus said, looking at her pointedly. Thea had shown him some of her work, a few weeks back, and ever since he'd been trying very hard to make Thea override her insecurities and send it in for publication. Rhys looked at Remus with new interest.

"She told me she writes. You've seen her work?"

Remus nodded. "She's good," he said. "I keep telling her she should publish, but she always insists no one would want it."

"Oh, do you?" Rhys asked Thea. Thea ducked her head. "We'll have to do some research, you and me. There's no piece so singular there's not a market for it somewhere," he said.

He trained that smile on her, and Thea felt her head start to go fuzzy again. So she darted ahead to the table. "Hey, Sarah! Patrick!" she called. "You'd better get hot dogs before they're all gone!"

Sarah looked glad to finally be able to go get lunch. It was nearing one o'clock now. "You've got the table?" Patrick asked.

"Rhys and I've got it," Thea said. She put a hand on Sarah's shoulder. "Go on- you look famished. Go and eat one of those cylindrical bunches of fatty mystery meat encased in empty carbohydrates."

Sarah stared at her. "A hot dog? Fat chance I have of eating one now!"

"Fat chance is right," Thea said. She winked at Sarah. "Revel in it. I did." She waved the pair of them off.

Sarah rolled her eyes, and stuck her tongue out at Thea for good measure.

"Thanks, Ramora," Patrick said drily, taking Sarah's hand. "C'mon, babe."

"Anytime," Thea called after them. "Cheerio!"

Sarah and Patrick left, just as Rhys and Remus were finally catching up. Rhys was asking Remus about his job. Thea frowned, but Remus quite coolly replied that he'd done a bit of everything, but that right now he was doing some work with birds of prey. Thea brought her hand up to hide her amusement. It wasn't even a lie, she thought.

"And how do you know Thea?" Rhys asked as he took up his place beside Thea behind the table.

Thea broke in. "Pretty much the same way I know Georgie, from this morning," she said. "I met him at Mel's. I was working there one night—"

"It was a dark and stormy night," Remus murmured. Thea glared at him, and he looked back at her, all mild innocence.

"He walked in and sat down. He insisted on staying after hours. So I let him," she shrugged.

"There was no insisting," Remus protested. "She let me stay. She even came over and sat down and chattered at me. I haven't been able to get rid of her ever since."

Thea rolled her eyes. "Like you've tried," she muttered. A man came up to the table then, holding a bag for books, and Rhys turned to help him. "Do you want anything?" Thea asked Remus. "I am sorry that you caught me at the end of my break. You could stick around, or come back later- but right now I really have to help these people out."

"You're trying to get in on the company?" Remus asked quietly. "I understand. I won't keep you. Good luck. I'll see you next week, yeah?"

Thea smiled at how easily he understood how tired she'd be tonight at Mel's. She nodded. "You can come by tomorrow," she suggested. "I'll get some of that chocolate cake from Clyde tonight. We can have it tomorrow, and I'll tell you how it went."

"You had me at the chocolate cake," Remus said with a smile. Chocolate was an enduring weakness of his. He surveyed the books on the table. "I'll go ahead and get this one," he said, waving the book Thea had given him at the table. "On your recommendation. If it turns out to be terrible, I'm blaming you."

Thea beamed. "Don't you trust me at all, Remus?" she asked, taking the money for the book from him.

Remus looked straight at her and gave a tiny, crooked half smile. "With my life," he said.

Thea went still. It wasn't a joke, and there was nothing she could say. She left the money on the table and went around. She hugged Remus tightly. "See you tomorrow," she said. He nodded, and tucked the book into his pocket before turning and leaving. Thea went back to join Rhys behind the table. The other customer had gone, and Rhys was putting his money, along with Remus', in the cash drawer. When he got to Remus', he frowned in confusion.

"He paid in exact change," he observed.

Thea shrugged. "He always does that," she said, as a mother walked up to the table with two teenaged children. "Good afternoon! How can I help you?" she asked them.

* * *

><p>The last customers had gone, and Thea had just helped Sarah and Patrick load up Patrick's little, ugly green car with the table cloth and sign, the three unsold books, and the drawer of money that they'd be taking back to Crossroads later.<p>

Thea was feeling very good about the day. Sarah had hugged her before she'd left- and Thea had made plans to go to the cinema with the older woman next week. Both Sarah and Patrick had promised to put in a word for Thea with Mr. Josh Grant once Thea applied for the internship. "We'd be glad to have someone like you at Crossroads," Patrick had said.

Thea waved at them as they drove off. When they'd driven out of sight at last, Thea spun around once, and punched a fist in the air. Nothing could bring her down after this- not even if four kids puked tonight at the café!

Behind her, she heard a warm, male laugh. She turned to see Rhys. Oh- yeah. He hadn't left yet. "Well," he said, hands in his pockets, "On the whole, I'd say you've had a successful day, Thea Ramora."

Thea just nodded.

"So you're going to the cinema with Sarah next week, and you'll see Pat again, too, when you start the internship…"

Thea stopped him. "If," she said. "_If_ I get the internship."

Rhys laughed. "Don't give me that if, Thea," he said. "Sarah's gold at Crossroads, and Pat's no lightweight. But what about your writing? Are you going to show it to me sometime like you said? Or am I forever going to be wondering about that girl that said dragons ought to breathe marmalade?"

His words were light, teasing, but Thea didn't answer right away. Instead, she looked up into Rhys' face curiously. She hadn't encountered anything quite like the manner he'd met her with all day long- at least- she hadn't encountered anything like it for a very, very long time. He just kept putting her off balance, making her head all fuzzy, but in a weird sort of way she kind of liked it. "I don't know why you'd be wondering," she said at last. "I said you could see my stuff, didn't I?"

"How about Thursday?" Rhys said quickly. "We could meet up. You could bring your stuff, and we could go over it together. There's this little place I know that has great coffee- and they nearly always have someone playing great jazz."

"I'm all for the jazz," Thea said. "But I don't drink coffee."

"Oh, they serve other things, too," Rhys said. "Hot chocolate- or we could always go somewhere else, too. No problem." He spoke too fast, and a little awkwardly.

"Do they serve peppermint tea?" Thea asked, amused.

"If you like," Rhys said.

"Sure," Thea said. "I'd be…" Thea blinked, and studied Rhys' face, suddenly placing the manner- the eagerness to please, the unwillingness to let her fade into the background, the sporadic moments of awkwardness alternating with charm. She'd encountered it before. Once. Early in high school- the first and last time a boy had ever asked her out. And…she went over what had just happened, and realised that that was what had just happened. Rhys had just asked her out.

She smiled, a bit shyly. "Sure," she said again.

"Might I get a number?" Rhys asked. Thea nodded, taking out the pen and little notebook she kept in her purse. She scribbled down her phone number, writing her name at the top, then tore of the page and handed it to him. It was such a little thing, she thought, giving her number to a man she'd worked with at a book fair, but still she felt an odd sense of accomplishment. "I'll call you," Rhys promised, pocketing the number. "We'll set things up then."

"You do that," Thea said. She tossed her hair out of her face. "I-I look forward to hearing from you. Um- bye." She turned around, face flaming, cursing her awkwardness.

She heard Rhys laughing behind her again. "I'll see you around, Thea Ramora," he said. Thea smiled. Forget the four puking kids, she thought. She could take on the world, tonight.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I ended up liking Rhys Davison more than I thought I would, considering his role in the story. I ended up making this a lot vaguer than it was originally, too. I had originally written this chapter with a lot more Sarah and Patrick, and more Georgie Hess and Ms. Katherine Austin, too. Then I realised they weren't really necessary. The point is not to write about Thea's life- but Thea's life as it intersects with Remus Lupin's. This is the chapter that's least about him. His appearance here is more limited than in any chapter but in The Black Secret (in which he doesn't appear at all, but figures heavily in nonetheless). The point to this chapter is to show things changing. From here on out, if anyone's static, it's Remus. Thea's done with that. That will be important, in her further interactions with Remus. Next up: "By the Light of the Moon". **

**I hope you're enjoying this story. If so, reviewing is a great way to show me your appreciation. Or, you know, to give me any helpful criticism. I accept both, gladly and gratefully.**

**God Bless,**

**LMSharp**


	14. By the Light of the Moon

**Disclaimer: Yeah. Thea, Archimedes, Rhys, Mel's and its inmates, and Crossroads and its employees are all my own invention. But Remus Lupin, **_**Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, **_**Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs, Lily Potter, and Lord Voldything all belong to the great Rowling. Glory and honor and credit and millions to Queen Jo.**

* * *

><p>By the Light of the Moon<p>

Thea was worried about Remus. For the first time ever, he hadn't come when he had said he would. He had cancelled on her, without any explanation. Thea had enjoyed herself at her farewell party at the café last night, with all the old Mel's people and her new friends from work at Crossroads, but she would have had more fun if she had known why Remus wasn't there.

Remus Lupin was probably the closest friend Thea had had in years, but she still didn't know what was up with him sometimes. She'd known him for over a year now. She knew almost everything about him. She knew his parents' names. She knew that he hated the colour orange and had never learned to ride a bicycle. He had told her that he was a wizard, and told her about the recent underground war with an evil wizard named Lord Voldemort. She knew about his friendships with three soldiers in that war, knew how all three had met their deaths either directly or through the treachery of a fourth friend of his: mass-murderer Sirius Black. Thea knew that Remus sent owls to Petunia Dursley sometimes with letters asking about Harry Potter, his friends Lily and James Potter's orphaned son, but that the owls always returned confused, still bearing the unopened missives, as if 4 Privet Drive didn't exist.

Yes, Thea knew Remus Lupin. She saw him almost every week, but she knew he still had a secret. There was something dark, dangerous, and- Thea thought- shameful that Remus had been sitting on since they had first met. He had been guarding this secret particularly fiercely lately, Thea felt. She didn't know what he might be hiding, but she guessed it wasn't as nearly bad as he so obviously thought it was. Remus was one of the best people she knew. She couldn't imagine him ever dangerous, or doing anything harmful. She supposed he might be hiding occasional weekend drinking binges and bar fights. It would neatly explain his periodic "illnesses" and the mild injuries and fatigue he always turned up with after his pretty much monthly disappearance.

Whatever Remus' nameless secret might be, it had until now lurked in the background of Thea and Remus' friendship, never referenced, and rarely felt. He had always been there, steady, quiet, kind Remus with the wicked sense of humour and the dark past. But last night he hadn't been all of a sudden, and Thea felt that whatever Remus was hiding had suddenly made itself known.

About a month ago, when Casey had first announced that he would be leaving Crossroads, and Josh Grant had offered to promote Thea from part-time intern to part-time employee, Thea had given her notice to Mr. and Mrs. Foster at Mel's. She'd let Remus know at the time that the café would probably send her off with a party, like Georgie Hess before her, and he had promised to come. But when she'd told him the day designated for the party last week, he'd frowned and fallen silent. He'd left her flat soon afterwards, still obviously bothered. Yesterday morning, Thea had found a short note on her door.

_Can't come. Sorry. –R. Lupin_

There had been no excuse. No reason. Remus had never let Thea down before. This was not one of his routine disappearances he always put down to "illness". This time it was different. Something was up.

Thea was on her way over to Remus' flat now to find out what. It was Saturday morning, and she knew he would be off work. He might not be home, though. Not for the first time, Thea wished that Remus would see fit to adopt a "Muggle" telephone like he usually adopted Muggle clothes. She didn't possess an owl to send to him, and the mailman was too slow. Remus always left a note on her door, thought, whenever he needed to tell her something, so Thea supposed that should he be absent, she could do the same. Accordingly, she gripped a pen tightly in her fist. She had a notebook and tape in her bag. She was prepared.

If only it weren't so freezing, she thought. She clutched her coat a little bit tighter, and her shoes crunched in the slushy remains of last week's snow. A lone crow alighted on the nearby street sign and gave a single raucous cry. Thea glared at it. "Oh, fly away," she snapped. "I don't like the weather much either. I ought to move to Greece. Or Spain. Or Africa. Someplace warm, anyway."

The crow ruffled its feathers and flew off in a distinctly superior manner, as if it were above exchanging conversation with a mad girl walking alone in the snow on a Saturday morning. Thea stuck her tongue out in its general direction. Thea turned into Remus' complex then, clutching her bag close. She made her way to Remus' flat, and rapped on the door three times.

For a long moment, there was only silence. Thea was just about to go rummaging through her bag for the notepad and tape when a rustling in the flat behind the door pulled her up short. The doorknob rattled, and the door creaked open just a little bit.

Remus peeked out at her with bleary, swollen eyes set in a face deathly pale. "Thea," he rasped. His voice was dry and hoarse, far from his usual pleasantly husky baritone. Thea read a fever in the sweat upon his forehead. "Not today, okay? Just-"he broke off. "I'll see you next week," he whispered. His knees buckled then, and he clutched at the door handle. Thea pressed her lips together, put her own hand to the doorknob, and stepped inside Remus' flat. Remus staggered back a few steps in the dimly lit flat. Thea caught him. She swung an arm around his shoulders, and her cheeks immediately flamed. She didn't let go, though, but instead closed his door behind them with her other hand.

She flicked the light on. She kept her eyes focused on the floor, though, on Remus' pant legs, frayed and dirty, and his bare feet poking out from under them. Anything to keep from looking at the very naked torso she was currently supporting. An afghan lying abandoned on the floor by the sofa, an open first-aid kit on the coffee table, and a half-full mug of tea told Thea the whole story. No wonder he hadn't been at her party last night. "Right then," Thea said. "Come on." She half-carried him back to the sofa. He seemed almost too weak to walk. She lowered him down to the couch, and he tried to sit up, but couldn't.

"Thea- I'm-"

"You could've just told me you were ill," she said softly. "In your note, I mean. Really ill this time, not just hung-over and beat-"she trailed off, noticing the first-aid kit again with new eyes. Her eyes went to Remus' body for the first time, and she gasped.

"Remus- my- how?"

Almost every inch of Remus' upper body was bruised to some degree, especially his shoulders and wrists. Both hands, his shoulder, hip, and left forearm, were swathed in clumsy bandages, and Thea could see blood seeping through some of them. There was a long shallow slice on his jaw, and his hair was absolutely wild. He shook his head helplessly, sending it even further into disarray. "Thea- just- I'll be fine. Just go." Thea could barely make out the words.

Her hand hovered over his wrist. She wanted to grip it in assurance, but she didn't want to hurt him. "Forget it!" she cried. "Go? With you in this state? No way, Remus! What can I-"she stopped. No use asking him, she thought. The man was feverish. He was shivering. She took up the afghan from the floor, obviously forsaken when Remus had somehow for some incomprehensible reason gotten up to answer the door. She draped it over him.

Thea went to the kitchen, wet a cloth, and went back. She applied the cool wet cloth to Remus' pallid, sweating face. "Thea-"he tried one more time. "You don't have to-"

"Shh-"Thea said. "Hush. I know. I want to. Try and sleep."She smoothed his hair back, and blinked. There was dirt in his hair, along with a couple of leaves. She didn't mention it, though, and Remus looked up at her mutely. Finally, one corner of his mouth turned up just a little bit, and she took it for assent to her continued presence. His eyes began to droop.

Thea judged him to be comfortable enough, and turned her attention to the flat. So Remus was ill. Really ill. Poor guy. She could stay today and look after him. He didn't have a parent, a girlfriend, or a roommate to do it, after all. From the looks of things, he'd been sick for a few days now. Things were piled up: not in their usual organised clutter-type way, but unhealthily so, pointing to the disability of the founder of the mess. Thea grabbed a few dirty dishes off of the coffee table, and walked them into the kitchen. She took them to Remus' sink and rolled up her sleeves, but to her surprise just then a sponge leaped to attention. The tap turned on, and the dishes began to wash themselves. "Um- okay," she said, deciding Remus must have some sort of ongoing spell set up to wash dirty dishes every time they approached the sink. "Should I stay to put you away?" she asked the dishes, feeling a little silly addressing stoneware. "Or do you have it all in hand?"

A dishtowel snapped at her, clearly telling her to be on her way and to mind her own business. Thea smiled, and went back to the living room. She went across to Remus' bookshelf and perused his titles. One in particular caught her attention: a worn old textbook titled _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them _by someone named Newt Scamander. She shrugged, grabbed it off the shelf and sat down in Remus' armchair.

She looked over at the sofa. Remus was still sweating, but he had stopped sweating. He was breathing deeply. He'd fallen asleep. Over Remus' head, Winston Churchill was absent from his portrait. Thea was not unduly alarmed by this. Remus had told her once that there were a few other magical portraits floating around Britain that his own sometimes visited.

Thea leaned back, opened the book, and began to read.

At first, she was annoyed. The text was fascinating, for all it was a textbook (after all, Thea thought, she didn't know anything at all about magic: it was all new to her), but the whole thing had been scrawled in and over and commented on and drawn in by what looked like _at least_ three different people. Thea loved books. She couldn't approve of such defacement, especially of a book she was trying to read. After a while, though, she began to notice that as interesting as Mr. Scamander's descriptions of the Cornish Pixie and the Chimaera were, the notes themselves were more interesting yet, especially to her. What did she know of fantastic beasts? When would she ever see them, unless Remus showed them to her in secret?

But the book was Remus', and once she recognised his square, neat hand among the writers, always sounding slightly amused, slightly worried, and slightly exasperated in his notes to the other defilers of the text (_Stop writing in my book, Padfoot. Do you really think that's a good idea, Prongs? Oh, shut up, you idiots_), she realised what this was. It was just like when she wrote random things in class (though she wrote hers in a proper notebook). The side notes in _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ told about Remus' life at Hogwarts, and they told about his friends.

Remus, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black. Those, Thea realised, must be the four people that had written in Remus' textbook, bored to tears in some Fantastic Beasts class at Hogwarts. They only ever referred to themselves by nicknames, though.

Thea pored over the pages, trying to guess everything she could. Remus was Moony. That much was obvious. The others always addressed him as Moony, though Thea had no idea why. He had apparently been a voice of reason in the little group even then, and Thea guessed too that he had more often than not shared his textbook with Padfoot, who was the most frequent violator of the pages and seemed a rather careless personage.

From what Remus had told Thea of Peter Pettigrew, she supposed he was Wormtail. A rather unfortunate nickname, she thought. Wormtail had shaky, feeble handwriting, and seemed quite a bit dimmer than the others. His notes in the text were less frequent, too. They were nearly always questions about the beast being covered in class, and drawings. He was a rather good artist, though, Thea thought.

Prongs and Padfoot were obviously very close friends, almost brothers. They had similar senses of humour, and seemed to possess stronger characters than the others, Thea thought, not without a pang for her best friend Remus. If she'd had to pinpoint a leader she would have guessed at Prongs- he showed a propensity to idea generation and Thea guessed from his notes that he had exercised some manner of control over Padfoot, who seemed to have needed it. She liked Prongs- he was funny and clever and just a little bit mad. She really hoped that James Potter had been Prongs. It would be terrible to like a murderer, Thea thought, even in the limited capacity of the writer of juvenile notes in a magic class at Hogwarts.

Her musings on the nature of Remus' school days and school friends was disrupted by Archimedes. He leaned down and tugged at the pages of the book with his beak. Thea started. She hadn't even heard him land on the armrest. Stupid silent owls, she thought.

"Go away, Archimedes," she said quietly, trying not to disturb Remus. "Shoo! I'm trying to read."

She flapped her hand at him a bit gingerly. He clacked his beak at her, and she flinched. He stared at her with big, yellow eyes, and then bent over the pages again, turning them like he would preen feathers. Thea glared. She was quickly being annoyed out of her fear of the owl's lethal beak and talons.

"Shoo!" she said again, this time grabbing Archimedes' big, feathery butt and hoisting him off the chair. He hooted in dismay, and flew off, casting a resentful glance over his shoulder at her. Thea rolled her eyes and bent to the book. She blinked.

Archimedes had turned the leaves of the book to its most densely packed page yet. There was an enormous block of type about the creature Scamander was describing, but all around it, in very tiny print, all three of Remus' friends had added information. A lot of information. Thea frowned. It wasn't jokes and drawings, either, like on the other pages. It was genuine, creature-related information, serious in tone and meaning, or it seemed to be.

She turned her attention to the beast the page described. **WEREWOLF, **ran the heading. Thea had to restrain a snort. Seriously? Dragons were one thing. She'd seen fairies. But werewolves? She sat back. Apparently so. Alright. Werewolves. She read the entry. Bitten by a werewolf, become a werewolf, every full moon yadda yadda, feral monsters that would rip your head off as soon as look at you, blah blah blah. Scamander didn't mention silver, though. Maybe that wasn't a weakness of theirs. That was interesting. She turned her attention to Remus' friends' comments.

_"They try and tell us that werewolves are evil monsters," _Wormtail had written at the top, sounding more assertive than Thea had seen him yet. _"But they're not. At least, they don't have to be. A werewolf usually can't find a job in our world. A lot of people would beat someone up and kick them out of town if they suspected them of being a werewolf. But that's wrong."_

Here, Padfoot had taken over. _"People don't know Knuts about werewolves. If they'd talk to one, stop for just a second to be decent, open-minded human beings instead of prejudiced gits, they'd realise. For twenty seven days out of twenty eight, a werewolf is just an ordinary guy. Maybe even cooler. For one thing, they have incredibly keen hearing and smell, even when they aren't wolves. They're great people to have around if you're pulling something off and you need someone to keep a lookout. They're also amazingly strong. For another thing, just to face the stupid world every day, a werewolf has to be phenomenally brave."_

_ "The werewolf transformation is incredibly painful," _Prongs had written below that. _"And that once a month when a werewolf is a proper monster, they literally _need _room to run, stuff to chew on. And if they can't get people- say if the werewolf locked himself up some place safe so he couldn't hurt anybody as a wolf- they beat themselves up. And though werewolves have an awesome healing rate, werewolf-caused injuries can't be healed by magic. A bad werewolf transformation can take days to recover from."_

Wormtail again. _"There's not a cure for likan—What's that word you used again, Padfoot?"_

_ "Lycanthropy, Worm," _Padfoot had interjected impatiently here.

_"Yeah, that. A werewolf is a werewolf forever. Once they get bitten, they have to deal with it, and all the stuff that comes with it," _Wormtail had written.

_"And nobody chooses to be a werewolf," _Padfoot had said. _"No one signs up for that hell, though there are some sick sadistic bastards that exploit the condition once they've got it and set out deliberately to hurt others."_

_ "But those people are the real monsters. The Lord Voldythings of the lycanthropic kingdom (great word by the way, Padfoot),_" Prongs had finished, squeezing in the last lines in his spiky, spindly handwriting. _"They are by no means representative of the whole class. A werewolf, Mr. Scamander, is first and foremost a victim. And one I know personally is a hero."_

This- Thea could only think of it as a second entry on werewolves- was written all around Scamander's entry. Above, in the margins, below. The very last words had been penned by Prongs.

_"-June 1977. Moony, whenever you get this out and reread it again- oh, we know you and your pathological love for books, even sawdusty old school volumes, we love you. We're behind you. Always. Marauders Forever! _"

All three had signed it. Thea stared for a long moment.

The odd disappearances. The varied jobs. The incongruous injuries that seemed to vanish almost overnight. The silvery scars she sometimes imagined she saw on his arms, like bites from some impossibly enormous canine. Every _month _he was ill, every month _exactly_. It'd been staring her in the face, hadn't it? _Moony_.

A sudden fear and revulsion raced through her, followed immediately by a terrible, crushing guilt, and then by a hot, burning anger, both at herself and at Remus. She sprang to her feet, hurling away the textbook. It hit the table and then the floor with very loud thumps. Remus gave a cry and sat up with a start. His eyes went to Thea's face, focused, then to the discarded textbook. "What on earth-"his voice was a little clearer now. He had stopped sweating. Already the cut on his cheek looked shallower (awesome healing rate, Thea thought).

"You're a werewolf," Thea said. His eyes went wide. His shoulders froze. "Oh, good Lord, you are, aren't you?" She began to pace. "Why didn't you tell me?" He opened his mouth to answer, but Thea cut him off. "No, strike that, that's a stupid question. I know why you didn't tell me." She laughed. The sound rang out through Remus' flat, a bit hysterical and mad sounding. "You're a werewolf." She said again. "My _best friend_ is a werewolf. Heavens above, it's like one of those really bad fantasy dramas Erin goes mad over. I'm right, aren't I? You are."

Remus' face had become set, hard. "Yes." He said. His voice was flat. Then suddenly, he was standing, angry himself. The afghan fell to the floor. "I told you to go, didn't I? I didn't ask you to come poking around, Thea! I certainly didn't tell you to start reading my old magic textbooks! Could you have just _once_ minded your own business and left well enough alone? Well, now you know." He spread his arms wide. "I'm a werewolf!" he cried. "I'm a monster every month. And now what? _What of it_?" He crossed over to Thea in two short, long, quick strides, amazing for someone who hadn't even been able to stand three hours ago. He gripped her shoulders tightly. Painfully tightly. His hands were like iron. "Do you hate me?" he asked, and his voice was controlled now, though his eyes burned. "Are you scared of me, Thea Ramora?"

Thea stared at him. She stared at Remus, her _best friend, _and didn't see a monster at all. And for the first time, his face was completely open. The secrets were gone, and Thea took a breath. The air tasted of freedom. "You're hurting me, Remus," she said quietly. He dropped his hands in a millisecond, and his face contorted. "Go put a shirt on," she said.

It was Remus' turn to stare at her. "What?"

"You heard me," Thea repeated. "I'll go put the kettle on."

When Thea came back from the kitchen bearing two fresh mugs of tea, Remus was standing up by his door, wearing a jumper and jeans. He'd brushed his hair, too. "Much better," Thea told him. "Here."

He took the mug wordlessly. Thea sat down, holding her mug between her hands. Remus remained standing.

"Well?"

"Well," Thea repeated. "I've been an idiot. I don't know why I thought I could believe in dragons and fairies and ignore the nastier things like sphinxes and lethifolds- I was thinking earlier I wanted to move to the tropics, Remus. I've changed my mind. Those things are terrifying. Anyway, I suppose I wasn't looking for werewolves, or I probably could've guessed. Is it this bad every month?"

She gestured to the first aid kit. Remus plopped down beside her in surprise. "No," he said. "Not always. Sometimes it's better. Sometimes it's worse. It's bad whenever I'm stressed- right after Halloween- I had to go to St. Mungo's a couple of times." By Halloween, Thea knew he was referring to the night James and Lily Potter had died and he had realised Sirius was a traitor. "But- aren't you furious?"

"At myself," Thea said. "The split second I realised what's been going on all this time, I was afraid." She studied her shoes. "Forgive me," she said lowly. "I know you better than that."

"What- Thea- _I'm _the monster, and _you're_ sorry? I've kept it from you all this time."

"Werewolves are first and foremost victims," Thea quoted.

Remus winced. "James used to say that," he said. "Thea- if I had seen you last night, I would have torn you limb from limb without a second thought. How much of a victim would you have called me then?"

"But you didn't rip me limb from limb. Instead you tore yourself up," Thea objected. "How long?"

Remus sighed. "Almost since before I remember. I was- five, I think. For curiosity's sake, what tipped you off? Just the werewolf entry in the book?"

"You haven't read that since '77, have you?" Thea asked. She picked up the textbook and turned to the werewolf page. She handed it to Remus.

Remus read it in silence. When he was done, he closed it gingerly and set it on the coffee table. There were tears in his eyes. "That- that would do it," he said.

"Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. Peter, Sirius, and James?" Thea guessed.

"Yeah."

"But why those nicknames? I mean, I understand Moony, but-"

Remus smiled. "You read about the transformation? James didn't want me to go through it alone. He was a Transfiguration prodigy. It was Sirius' idea, though, to become Animagi- wizards who can transform at will into animals," he explained at Thea's questioning glance. "A werewolf is only dangerous to humans. They kept me company every year from fifth on, even after Hogwarts. Even when Lily was pregnant and the war was going mad. We ran around. It wasn't so bad, then. I didn't have to- you know- when they were there to play with. Peter could turn into a rat. Sirius- he turned into a dog and James into a stag."

"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs," Thea murmured. "I see." And also just what sort of friends the "Marauders" as James had called them, had been. How much Remus must feel their loss, even now. "Remus- is there _anything_ I can do? Anything at all?"

"Stop fussing, for one thing," Remus said. "I'll be fine by tomorrow afternoon. Otherwise-"he sighed. "I hardly have the right to ask. I should've known you better, too…but just be here, okay? You help make it better, a little."

"Not alright."

"No."

"But better." Thea tentatively moved towards him. "Will I…" she cut off, gesturing to his bandaged hands and such.

"It's fine," he said. Thea nodded, and she kissed him on the cheek and hugged him gently. She sat up then, and drank some of her tea.

"Where's your boyfriend?" Remus asked after a moment.

Thea blinked, completely taken aback. "Rhys?" she said.

"Yeah, well, he took you to the party last night, didn't he? You've been going out for a couple months now." His voice was casual, but he wasn't looking at her.

"Well- yeah, we go out every now and then, but I don't think he's my _boyfriend,_" Thea said. "That is, he's never called me his girlfriend."

Remus chuckled. "Have you told him that it's not official?" he said. "I'm sure the bloke would be interested to know that he's been taking you out exclusively for almost three months and you don't think the two of you are a couple."

Thea frowned. "He never said he was taking me out exclusively," she said. "How do you know he's not seeing other girls?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "I tagged along with you two a couple weeks ago," he said. "The football game, remember? By the way, that was awkward- I'm never doing it again. But I saw the way he looked at you. He's not seeing anyone else, trust me. Besides, it's _you_."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Thea demanded. "And why should I know where he is, anyway? I saw him just last night, but I don't keep track of Rhys Davison's whereabouts twenty-four seven."

"Do you like him?" Remus asked bluntly.

"Of course I like him," Thea said. "I wouldn't spend time with someone I didn't like. I…I like him a lot, actually." She ducked her head and blushed. "He- he kissed me three weeks ago," she confessed. "I'm sure I was awful- I'd never kissed anyone before… but he kissed me last night, too…why am I telling you all this?" she asked.

Remus was wearing a very odd look on his face. "I don't know," he said.

"Well you should," Thea told him. "You're the one that asked about Rhys in the first place. Why are you interested anyway?"

Remus stared at her. Thea shifted, suddenly uncomfortable. "Never mind," Thea said. "You're looking a lot better," she observed. "Are you feeling better?"

Remus sighed. "Yeah," he said. "A little tired, a little sore, but better. Naps and tea work wonders."

"I imagine the werewolf healing stuff doesn't hurt, either," Thea said drily. "What I wouldn't give for that ability when I trip over something and sprain my ankle. You feeling up to a little Chinese? There's that place just around the block…it's not far."

Remus looked somehow disappointed. "Yeah," he said. "Sure, Thea."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thea's so smart sometimes. But other times she's so completely clueless. It's a flaw in her otherwise spotless, shining, character. That and she really is a bit nosy, even when she thinks she's not. And that she tries to take care of everyone she meets. And goes around singing and talking to crows. And has a fish she calls **_**Larry**_**. Who am I kidding? She's a complete dork.**

**Poor Remus. If he actually got up the nerve (and the OOC selfish intelligence as opposed to his usual noble brand of stupidity) to say something to Thea at this point in the story he might be surprised, even if she DID just find out that he's freakin' **_**werewolf **_**AS WELL AS being a wizard. But he won't. And by the time he does, it might be too late. Even when Thea's clueless, she's only clueless up to a point. **

**Keep reading for "Never a Time for Us", coming probably as soon as I get through with finals here. Leave a review if you especially liked or disliked anything you read here today. **

**God Bless,**

**LMSharp**


	15. Never a Time for Us

**Disclaimer: This sentence up here basically means I'm giving credit to J.K. Rowling for the genesis of her original characters, and for the pleasure of using them, am claiming no credit for the characters and plot I've contributed to this little fanfiction.**

* * *

><p>Never a Time for Us<p>

Thea lay back in the grass. A breeze blew the scent of the flowers she'd planted a couple months back over. They were blooming. It had been a big day today. Finally, she was out of school. She'd walked across the stage, gotten that diploma. She was a university graduate. There had been an exhausting flood of people then, people to hug, shake hands with, smile and nod at, promise not to forget. It was good now to just relax with one that actually mattered.

She scooted over a bit, snuggling closer to Rhys as he pointed out the late spring constellations dancing across the heavens above their heads. As he pointed to each in turn, Thea gave him its mythological story.

"I swear, for an English major, I absorbed an awful lot of classics in university," she said. "It's funny, though," she continued. "They're just stories, but we keep telling them. Using them to explain random configurations of blazing balls of gas in the universe."

Rhys laughed. "You're not very romantic at all, are you, Thea-girl?"

Thea sighed. "No. I never have been. I'm convinced I never will be. It will probably end up becoming a deeply ingrained flaw and a lifelong sorrow of mine." She smirked, turning her head to look right at him. "Are you complaining?"

Rhys grinned. "Never," he said.

Thea grinned back, leaned in, and kissed his nose. "Wise of you," she said, leaning back again. "They are beautiful, though, aren't they?"

"I wish we had a telescope," Rhys said. "I went once to the museum, one special night about two years ago. They had this whole line of really nice telescopes in the parking lot for people who wanted to take a closer look at this universe of ours. I saw a comet, streaking across the sky, leaving this fiery trail behind it for thousands and thousands of miles. I saw the stardust, drifting along in the Milky Way…"

"I've seen it," Thea said. "Last summer I went out with a telescope. It was incredible."

"You have a telescope?" Rhys asked.

Thea shook her head. "No. I went out with Remus. We looked together."

Rhys propped himself up on one elbow, so he was looking down at Thea. "Remus Lupin's really important to you," he observed. "You know you talk about him all the time. I know you see him- often. I wonder sometimes why _I _don't. I hang out with your other friends," he continued. "They're my friends, too. I liked meeting your father and your sisters last week."

"They liked you, too," Thea told him. "Especially Dad. I'm glad you got on with him. It would have been awful if you hadn't."

"Especially since I plan on sticking around a while," Rhys agreed. Thea smiled, pleased. But Rhys' face was still shadowed. "Thea- why have I only seen Remus a handful of times? He's your best friend, isn't he? He's an alright bloke-"

Thea sighed. "I've asked him more than once to come out and see us," she said. "He likes you- it's just, he says it's awkward when the three of us hang out. I don't know why…" she frowned. She would have liked Rhys and Remus to be good friends.

Rhys closed his eyes for a brief moment. Then he opened them. The streetlight shone off his spectacles and lit his blue eyes with golden backfires. His mouth quirked up, and his hand cupped Thea's face. Thea leaned into the touch. "You're amazing, you know that?" he said. "Graduated today: a full B.A. You've gotten published…"

"That's down to you, Rhys," Thea objected.

Rhys laughed softly. "That magazine _loved_ your essay," he said. "They've asked for any more you possibly have. And all the work that went into that piece, every last bit of it, was yours, Thea-girl. You're funny, brilliant…not to mention gorgeous…"

Thea's face heated up, and Rhys felt it through the hand still on her face. He grinned. "Shut up," Thea whispered.

"But sometimes you're a bit of an idiot," Rhys finished. Thea gasped, and rolled away playfully, not really offended. "No, really," Rhys continued. His voice was a little regretful. "It took you ages to believe I really wanted to be with you, and I was all but dancing on my hands while singing arias, and sweetheart, I don't have your singing voice."

Thea chuckled. "But I wasn't sure, you know, especially when we started off, that you were really as uninvolved as you said you were," he continued. The regret was stronger now, and his tone was more serious. Thea rolled over again to face him, and came up on her elbow so their eyes were on a level. She regarded him. "Thea-girl," he said hesitantly. "You and Remus. Have you ever…before you knew me, perhaps…"

Thea's mouth rounded in a little "Oh," of comprehension. She shook her head. "We were never together, Rhys," she said. "I told you that I'd never been with anyone before when you finally convinced me you weren't mad- and you really did want to date me." She laughed a little, shaking her head in wonder. Rhys looked at her, and his face showed relief, yes, but there was also lingering doubt, and an incomprehensible sadness. "Look," she said. "I'm close to Remus. Yes. He's my best friend, and I like spending time with him. But- you don't have to be worried." She dropped her eyes, and her heart leapt into her throat. Cheeks flaming, she met Rhys' gaze again. "I love _you_, Rhys Davison," she said boldly. It was the first time she'd ever said it.

His eyes kindled then. He leaned over and kissed her. She kissed him back.

"I hoped you did," he said, very quietly and intensely. "I thought you might. It's…so good to hear it at last, though. I love you, too. Have for a while, now."

"Really?" Thea whispered.

"Yes, you little idiot," Rhys chuckled. "Didn't you know? Come here."

* * *

><p>It was Saturday, and Thea still hadn't stopped smiling. She spun around a couple times on the roof of her complex, just because. A crack rang out behind the door that led to the stairwell, and the door opened.<p>

"You really shouldn't Apparate inside the complex, you know," she said, without turning around. "One of the neighbours might think somebody fired a gun."

"Or that a car backfired," Remus said. "Either way, they won't come out to check."

"Careless," Thea sang at him. "What if someone's a good citizen and wants to see if they can help?" She turned around, and smiled at him. "Hello, then, Remus."

Remus was frowning at the pavement. "You might be right about the noise," he said thoughtfully. "I won't do it again."

"I'm sure my frightened neighbours thank you for that," Thea said drily. "Come here, you."

She hugged him tightly. For the first time that she could remember, Thea was actually bubbling with happiness. She'd graduated university, the other day Mr. Grant had talked about maybe promoting her to a full time junior editor by the fall, Rhys loved her, and Remus was with her.

Remus hugged her back for a moment, then stepped back, keeping her shoulders. "How is the conquering hero, anyway?" he said. "You're a B.A. proper, now. How does it feel?"

Thea spread her arms out and twirled around again. "I could fly!" she said. He laughed a little, and Thea turned on him and put her hands on her hips. "Or at least I could if you would ever let me get on a broomstick," she added in a mock-severe tone.

Remus laughed again. "I'd bring one," he said, "But I'm afraid you wouldn't find it much than a tool to sweep the floor with."

Thea stuck her tongue out at him. "Spoilsport," she said lightly. "I was joking. I feel fantastic, Remus. Absolutely, wonderfully, perfectly fantastic. I can go anywhere. Do anything. If I don't want to, I never have to step inside a classroom again."

Remus snorted. "You will, though."

Thea shrugged. "Yeah, probably. I'm a hopeless nerd. But for now I'm _done_. I'm so relieved."

"Congratulations," Remus said. He was smiling at her, and Thea could see that he was genuinely happy for her and proud. She put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry you couldn't make Commencement," she said softly. "I would have liked for you to be there."

Remus' lips twitched. "Yes, well, I think telling the President of the University to reschedule the Commencement of a thousand-something students to make it more convenient for your friend the werewolf would've been a little much."

Thea smiled, though really it wasn't at all funny. He tried so hard to make light of what he went through, but Thea wasn't fooled. Not anymore. She squeezed his shoulder.

"I am sorry, Thea," he said. "I would have liked to be there, too." Then he brightened, picking up a bag she hadn't noticed before on the ground. "Here. I got you something."

"Now's where I should tell you that you shouldn't have," Thea said. "But I won't. I really like presents." She smirked. "Hand it over, Lupin."

Remus handed her the big, green bag. White tissue paper stuck up out of it, and he'd attached an enormous red bow to the front. "It looks just like Christmas," she said.

"Well they are your favourite colours," Remus said.

"Come downstairs," Thea suggested. "I'll open it there." She led him down from the roof and down the corridor to her little flat. Remus waited for her to open the door and followed her inside.

"And a good evening to you, Larry," he said as he entered, with a polite nod to the Goldfish. The fish burbled at him, and Thea rolled her eyes.

"I don't know why you bother. He's the world's stupidest fish. He runs into the side of his bowl sometimes. Let's see what I have here." She sat down at her kitchen table, and Remus sat across from her.

Thea opened Remus' bag and drew out a book. A little, leather bound book with a blue ribbon. She looked at the cover, and her eyes stung suddenly. _Peter Pan. _Probably the nicest copy she'd ever seen. It smelled like wood and story time. She flipped through the pages, and was delighted to find it peppered with colour illustrations. Quietly, she said, "Remus, you shouldn't have."

Remus shrugged off-handedly, though his cheeks had coloured a little. "I found it in a little hole in the wall old bookstore I visit sometimes. I saw it and thought of you. The owner knows me- I was able to get it more than half off. It wasn't in the best condition. But I fixed it." He spread his hands, as if that explained it. Thea opened the front cover and read there.

_To Thea-_

_ We're grown up now. We're neither of us innocent or heartless, and we couldn't get to the Never-Never Land now even if we tried. But I hope you can still read this with the same unabashed enjoyment as when you read it as a child, and when you do I hope you will think of someone else who still believes in fairies. _

_ Happy Graduation,_

_ R. Lupin_

Thea was speechless for a long moment. Then she gripped his hand tightly, trying to express everything he was to her in the simple gesture. "I've got some chocolate cake," she said. "Mr. and Mrs. Foster brought it over yesterday. They had Clyde make it just for me in honour of the occasion. Want some?"

"Ramora, I'm going to get fat always coming over here," Remus growled. "I swear that's your evil plan."

"You're too thin, anyway, Remus," Thea retorted, rising to go get two slices.

A little later they were both sitting at Thea's kitchen table, pieces of cake before them, and cards in hand. "It's not near as exciting as Exploding Snap," Remus had said, of the game they were playing, "But at least neither of us are likely to get our eyebrows singed off."

"So you know what's up with me," Thea told him. "Graduation, work at Crossroads, brave new world, yadda yadda. What's going on with you?"

Remus studied his hand, and for a moment, Thea wasn't sure he wasn't going to answer. Finally he said in a forced tone, "Actually, I've been given notice to leave Tidwell's."

Thea stared at him, now feeling even worse about the expensive book and even better about feeding him cake. "Oh, Remus- I'm so sorry," she said. "Did they find out there that you were a werewolf or something?"

Remus shook his head. "No. It's no big deal, really. If it had been something like that, I'd probably have run out the door- and they'd have been throwing stuff after me. No. He gave me a nice little severance package. I think he felt bad about it."

"Remus," Thea said. He was avoiding the question. Remus discarded a card he wasn't going to use.

"It's no big deal," he said. "Actually, Mr. Tidwell's known about my…my condition for a while now. He's a good sort. He would've kept me, he said, but down at the Ministry they're starting to put a little more pressure on people like me." He shrugged, trying to downplay the whole thing. "He said he didn't think I was a problem, but he didn't want any heat from the Ministry. I don't blame him. It'd be bad for business." He was quiet a moment. Then he looked up at Thea. "Stop it," he said.

"Stop what?"

"Stop worrying about me. I'll be fine. I've been out of work before."

_Yes, and you nearly starved_, Thea almost snapped at him. But she took a deep breath and didn't. She imagined how Remus would look a few months down the road if he were still out of work. She imagined the clean, crisp, second-hand professor-y suits getting shabbier and shabbier, starting to hang off of him, his bones starting to show through his face. "What exactly are they doing at the Ministry, to make Mr. Tidwell so nervous?" she demanded. "Who do they think they are?"

"Well, it's not so much _them _collectively as it's Dolores Umbridge," Remus said without heat. He wasn't looking at Thea. Thea's stomach turned over. She remembered the name, from Albus Dumbledore's warning at the end of last summer. "Some of the people at the Ministry are decent enough," he continued. "I have a few friends that work there, in different departments. Alastor Moody. Kingsley Shacklebolt. Arthur Weasley."

"But not Delores Umbridge," Thea said, determined to find out what was going on.

Remus sighed, resigned to having to talk about it. "No," he said shortly. "She's one that doesn't take kindly to anything that isn't strictly human, and better than that, strictly pure-blood." He made a face. "She was a persnickety toad-faced Ravenclaw, even back in school."

"You and the others were Gryffindors, right?" Thea interjected. Remus had told her once about the houses at Hogwarts.

"That's right. James and Sirius pulled a couple of pranks at Umbridge's expense back then, actually." He shrugged. "_They_ didn't take kindly to 'bigoted idiots', Sirius said." He smiled a bit. "It's not just werewolves, you know. Umbridge has a vendetta against centaurs, mermaids, house elves, goblins, trolls. But she's gotten high enough in the Beast department at the ministry to start doing things about it."

"And what, exactly, is she doing?" Thea pressed. She was getting impatient at Remus' evasions.

Remus pressed his lips together. "There's a mandatory werewolf Registry at the Ministry, anyway, so they can keep tabs on potential threats. And a department that…well, never mind about that department. But it hasn't been really problematic before. The Registry's always been confidential, and I've never had to do anything but check in each month and certify that no, I still haven't killed or turned or otherwise mauled anyone." His words were bitter. "If Umbridge has her way the Registry will cease to be confidential. She might pass other restrictions, too."

Thea frowned. "She'd make the Registry public, and everyone could know about you?"

"Among other things."

Thea laid down her hand, taking the round. "But that'd pretty much wreck your life! Unless someone's pretty awesome, they're not going to know that you're not a "threat to society" unless they know _you_. If they know you're a werewolf straight off…"

"Exactly," Remus said, beginning to shuffle.

"And Mr. Tidwell, or others like him…"

Remus nodded. Then he looked up. "Look, don't worry about it, Thea. It's not your problem, okay? I can take care of myself. I've had to."

Thea glared at him. "It might be my problem, Remus!" she snapped. "If they get clearance at the Ministry of Magic to make the Werewolf Registry public, or whatever, exactly how outlandish is it to suppose they might start tracking you or something? See where you go, what you're doing?"

Remus went very still. A moment of silence passed between them, and the tension was thick enough to cut with a knife. "I shouldn't have said anything," he said finally. His mouth twisted. "I forget sometimes just how clever you are. You don't have to be a witch to piece things together just like you lived in our world, if I give you enough."

"Should I be insulted?" Thea asked.

Remus shook his head impatiently. "It's actually what's worrying me most right now," he admitted. "I'll find another job. I always do, even if it's in the Muggle world or doesn't last very long. But they could decide to start tracking me, you're right. And if they do…" He shot a nervous glance at Thea.

"They'd find me," she finished. "You'd get into trouble for breaking the law. It's a stupid law. I can't imagine that it's very heavily enforced, but I can and do imagine that they'd be much tougher on a werewolf. That's what Professor Dumbledore meant, last summer, wasn't it? When he told you to be careful?"

Remus' silence was answer enough. "Remus," Thea said. "They'd wipe my memory- Obliviate me, or whatever you call it."

He shook his head violently."I wouldn't let that happen," he said. "Dumbledore's close to the Ministry. Actually, they're _still_ trying to convince him to be Minister of Magic, but anyway, he's keeping a lookout on things for me. If the Ministry moves to begin to track werewolves- I…" he trailed off. "They won't get to you, is all." He shifted in his chair.

Thea glared at him. "You'd leave," she accused him flatly. "Just disappear and never come back in some idiotic noble quest to save my memory."

Remus looked up and caught her gaze. "I promised no one would hurt you," he said.

"You promised _you_ wouldn't hurt me," Thea said. "There's a difference."

"If I just stayed and let them wipe your head and leave you ignorant of all that's happened this year, at best, it'd come out to the same thing," Remus insisted. "Better I leave and be able to come back sometimes than you forget everything."

"An entire year is a lot to forget," Thea murmured. "And you'd get in trouble, too."

"Oh, of course, _that's_ the part you focus on," Remus said, putting his hand over his eyes. "Thea-"

"It wouldn't be the same. We couldn't really talk, ever again."

Remus forced a smile. "They haven't started tracking me yet," he said bravely. "Or even talking about it. The Registry rule is still being debated. My hand."

Thea glared at him again. He wanted to ignore this? Then she sighed. There was really nothing they could do. "Fine," she said. "I'll shuffle." And she did.

A little later, they'd finished playing cards (Remus had won four out of their five rounds- Thea had been furious at him), and the two of them were sitting on the sofa, watching Larry swim around in his bowl. Thea had her head on Remus' shoulder, and she was clutching her peppermint tea with both hands, feeling the heat seep into her. A calm sort of wistfulness had replaced her former elation. Everything was still perfect. She was still graduated, moving up at a job she loved, in love with a great guy who loved her back, and Remus was still here, but the difference was now she had no idea how long it would last. But it was getting on ten o' clock, and she knew he'd have to at least leave her flat soon.

"If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?" she asked him.

He thought a moment. "I've always sort of wanted to visit Australia," he said. "It might be interesting to visit the famous opera house in Sidney. Hear some professional singing for once."

Thea laughed, shoving him a little. "I'd like to go, too," she said. "Can you believe that in spite of studying music pretty much all my life, and living in London, of all places, I have yet to see an opera?"

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Really?" he said. "Thea, I've seen an opera. And I'm a _wizard_. And _broke_."

"You have such a way of making me feel better about myself, Lupin," Thea said lazily.

"It's getting late," Remus said after a moment.

"So?" Thea said, pretending not to know what he meant. She had this irrational fear that if he walked out now she might not see him again.

"So, I should go," Remus said, pushing Thea up to a sitting position gently.

"You don't have to," Thea said. "You could stay." Remus froze. He regarded Thea, and belatedly she realised how that had come out. She blushed. "Um…I didn't mean it that way," she said. "Just…you could stay a little longer."

Remus closed his eyes. He took a deep breath. Then he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "As if you didn't make things hard enough," he said gently. He smiled, but there was pain behind the smile. "I know you didn't mean it. I should go," he said again, rising.

Remus and Thea hugged all the time. She kissed his cheek often enough, but something about this particular kiss and his particular words caught Thea off guard this time. "Remus?" she said. "What do you mean, I make things hard enough?"

"Never mind, Thea," he said. "I'll see you next week. Promise."

Thea shook her head. "No, what do you mean?"

Remus sighed. He shook his head at her, and for some odd reason, Thea was reminded of Rhys' questions earlier in the week. A suspicion curled in her stomach, and she suddenly felt a bit sick. "Remus?"

Remus closed his eyes again, and sank back onto the sofa, but this time a good foot and a half from her. "You're really quite clueless, you know," he said. "It's one of your charms. But I daresay you deserve to know. You're a dear friend, Thea, and that friendship is very important to me. But, yes, sometimes it's a hard one. I'm not your brother, Thea, and I'm neither blind nor insensible." He studied her face carefully and hesitated before continuing. "You're beautiful," he said. "Inside and out. You've just started, Thea, and you're going to do incredible things. You're a…a blessing to me, and to anyone that knows you. And, yeah," his voice dropped about an octave and fell almost to a whisper. "Sometimes I can't help thinking that Davison must be the luckiest man in the world."

He shrugged. "That's it, really." He coloured a bit. "It doesn't change anything, but you wanted to know. And…and I'm glad I told you." He rose to leave again, and Thea stood.

"Stop," she ordered. "Remus- you can't just _say_ something like that and waltz off! How- how long?" Her stomach was churning and her head whirled.

"Since about the middle of last summer," he said.

"And you never said? Remus—"

"It wouldn't have made any difference," Remus said. "I'm still a werewolf. I can't date anyone without putting them in danger, even if you had felt the same way. Thea, this doesn't change anything, does it? We can still be friends…"

"Shut up, of course we can," Thea said, plopping back down onto the sofa. "Just- why didn't you say anything? If I'd have known!" She put her head in her hands, and Remus froze. Slowly, he sank back down to sit on the coffee table across from her.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" he said quietly.

Thea groaned. "Oh, this is awful," she said. "Remus- I liked you. Since I first met you, practically. It's just, I'd never dated anyone. I had no idea how to tell you, and you were a mess when we met anyway, it would've been a terrible idea. Then you were a _wizard_ and I had to get used to that and then—"she trailed off and glared at him. "But if your being a werewolf hasn't stopped me being your friend it wouldn't stop me dating you, don't be stupid. But now-"

Remus' face had gone stiff. "Now you're with Davison," he said. "And you like him." He shifted. "Well."

"Remus, no, you still don't understand," Thea said. Tears stung her eyes. "Even when I started dating Rhys I liked you better, at first. But now-"she smiled, and a tear slipped down her cheek. "Remus, I don't just like him now. I love Rhys. And he loves me. He told me, earlier this week. And I love you, too, it's just-"

"You love him more."

Thea nodded miserably. She extended a hand to Remus. "I'm so sorry."

He took it. "Well," he said again. His voice was tight. "I must admit…I didn't see that coming." He played with her fingers a moment. "I think it would have been easier if you didn't like me, quite frankly," he said very quietly. "To hear I might've had a chance…" he trailed off, and swallowed.

"Yeah," Thea said.

"There was never a time for us, was there?" Remus asked after a moment. "And I shouldn't count on there ever being one."

Thea looked at him. "I'm sorry," she said again. "Remus- you're still my best friend. And I love you."

"Don't say that," he said. But he stood, pulling Thea to her feet with him, and hugged her tightly. "We won't pretend this didn't happen," he said. "But you'll see me next week."

"Promise?" Thea said.

"Promise."

He smiled at her a bit sadly, and let go, and walked to the door. "Thea- I-"

"Don't say it," Thea said, closing her eyes tightly. "See you next week."

"Right."

Thea heard the door close, and collapsed again on the sofa. She blinked furiously until the tears stopped threatening. Then she picked up her phone, on the lamp table beside the sofa, and dialed Rhys' number.

He picked up after three rings. "Hello?" he said sleepily.

"Rhys? It's Thea."

"Thea? Is something wrong?"

Thea shook her head, belatedly realising Rhys couldn't hear it over the phone. "No," she said. "Just- I love you. I love you a lot. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, Thea-girl. I know. I love you, too. You sure you're alright?"

Thea smiled, leaning into the sound of his voice. "I will be. Just wanted to tell you that. Go back to sleep."

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><p><strong>AN: Yes, well. I'm not sure if this chapter is going to be my biggest hit yet or make me so sorry I wrote it that I'll take the whole story down. It was risky, but I do feel like the topic had to at least be addressed. **

**I'm really at a loss as far as what to do next. The official ending of the main action comes almost a year from the current point in the story, in March of 1984, but after that there's MASSIVE aftermath. To begin with, I'm not sure if I should write a few happy-ish chapters in between now and the end, or if I should go straight there. Also, I'm not sure if after the official end I should write several shorter chapters explaining the aftermath, write one enormous, episodic epilogue, or just stop the story at the end and write a sequel even more disjointed than this story has been. I'm also thinking about uploading a companion fic from Remus' point of view of this time period that gets inside his messed up head. Thea would appear, of course. There would be some of the same episodes covered in this story, as well as some I didn't cover, but like Thea's story has Bernie and Whit and Ms Austin and Rhys, Remus' story might include visits from characters like Emmeline Vance, Minerva McGonagall, Augusta Longbottom, and the Weasleys, as well as my OC Mr. Tidwell of the magic pet shop and veterinary clinic. **

**Your opinion of these ideas would be very much appreciated, as well as any feedback you might have to offer about this chapter. Thank you, and I hope you're enjoying my story.**

**God Bless, **

**LMSharp**


	16. That's Your Problem

**Disclaimer: Petunia and Dudley Dursley, along with Harry Potter and the world he comes in belong to J.K. Rowling. Thea, Ginnifer, and Faith Ramora are mine, but you get them for free.**

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><p>That's Your Problem<p>

The sun was going down, but the day still hadn't lost its heat. At least it was dry, Thea thought. The midges weren't out. She kicked at the gravel beneath the bench where she sat and looked over at the fairy clearing. She wondered if Remus would come.

Things had been awkward ever since his big revelation three weeks back. Thea had graduated, and Remus had been fired, so Thea knew that they should have been seeing more of one another. But they weren't. She'd seen him twice since he'd told her that he envied her boyfriend, since she'd told him that he'd had a shot once. But she hadn't been to his flat. He hadn't been to hers. And both times they'd met the conversation had been just a little bit strained, and he'd left just a little too soon.

The full moon had been five days ago. Thea always kept track of it now. She didn't circle the date on her calendar- Rhys noticed things like that. But she remembered. She tried not to exhaust Remus around then, tried to be especially gentle and considerate. Or she had, anyway.

One of these days he'd stop coming. She knew that. It seemed like she'd always known that now. One of these days she'd leave a note on her door, and he wouldn't show up, and his wicked humor, and consideration, and quiet insightful smile would be gone from her life just as suddenly as they'd come. At first it had been the grief, and the hunger that might have taken him. Then it was the wizardry, and the world he belonged to that Thea could never touch. Then it was the lycanthropy. Any full moon could be his last. Any day the Ministry of Magic could shut them down, could shut _him_ down. Now, Thea feared that it would be everyday, common-variety awkwardness that ended them. It was kind of funny. But it made her want to cry.

And she really hoped he didn't choose today not to come. There was something he had to know, something she'd seen. Last night she'd returned from visiting her family in Surrey, and the first thing she'd done is leave a note on her door. She had news Remus _had_ to hear. Thea had met Harry Potter.

Thea and her sisters had gone to look at the shops together, to enjoy what might be their last time together before Ginnifer went to university in America. Thea hadn't been looking for Harry Potter. She'd just been walking along with her sisters, admiring jumpers and sundresses, and lamenting the high cost of anything that might fit her, when Gin had needed to use the ladies. Thea hadn't, but Ginnifer never went alone, so Faith had accompanied her, and Thea had sat down on a bench outside the candy shop to wait with the bags.

She'd fallen into her old habit of people-watching, admiring the magnificent mustache on the one man, quietly laughing at the ridiculous wilting green feather on that eccentric lady's hat, when a woman with two children had gone by.

Thea hadn't thought much of the woman. She hadn't looked very pleasant. A typical housewife with dishwater blonde hair and a horsey looking face. She had only been remarkable for the horrible way she'd been simpering over her chubby blonde son. The kid looked about four- tallish, but so chubby and pink and with such a snub nose that he reminded Thea of nothing so much as a little piglet. He'd been dragging his mum towards the candy shop, jabbering on and on about all the lollipops and chocolate he wanted, and she'd just been agreeing and agreeing, calling him by the most horrendous pet names Thea had ever had the misfortune to hear. She'd been about to write them off and look for someone more interesting when they'd started into the candy shop.

Thea couldn't help seeing. They were right in front of her. She hadn't noticed the second boy with the woman at first. He'd been tagging along behind, and he was so _little_ Thea hadn't seen him until the woman turned around at the candy shop entryway and snapped at him in quite a different tone than she'd used previously. "Not you, boy," she'd said harshly. "Wait outside."

The sharp tone had made Thea sit up straight and look hard. But the woman had already gone in with her horrid son. Thea hadn't thought the other kid was hers- he looked completely different from either of them. He was so small, though, that she couldn't believe that the woman had left him alone. He didn't look old enough to be walking around, hardly. But he'd just stood there, outside the shop for a moment, then he'd turned around, toddled over to Thea's bench, and asked if he couldn't sit and wait with her for a bit.

He'd been pathetic- practically swimming in clothes far too big for him, and pushing glasses just as big up his tiny nose. But he'd looked at her so seriously that Thea had been intrigued. Of course she hadn't said no. She'd moved her bags over right away and the boy had nimbly climbed up onto the bench. His little pant legs had fallen over his shoes, and he'd swung his legs back and forth for a moment and then looked at her suspiciously. "'m'not s'posed to talk to strangers," he had said finally. "Aunt 'Tunia doesn't like it."

Thea had been amused and extended her hand to the tiny boy. "My name's Thea Ramora," she'd said. "Now I'm not a stranger, am I? Was that your aunt just now?"

He'd shaken her hand gravely and looked back wistfully at the bright windows of the candy shop. "'N my cousin, Dudley," he'd told her. "Aunt 'Tunia said he's been 'specially good, so he gets candy."

Thea had been taken aback. The kid hadn't looked more than two, but he had spoken like a four year old, at least. But more disturbing had been the matter-of-fact way he _had_ spoken, like he was _used_ to waiting outside shops while his Aunt Petunia got his cousin Dudley treats. "Haven't you been good, too?" she had asked. The kid had looked up at her then with very serious, haunted green eyes.

"Guess not." Then he had looked at her very hard for a moment, screwed up his face all at once, and said in a rush, "I don' think Aunt 'Tunia likes me lots." He had looked around then, a bit nervous, like saying it at all had been extraordinarily brave.

Thea had remembered an Emmeline Vance over a year ago, then, saying that James and Lily's son Harry had gone to live with an aunt that despised him, and a horrible suspicion had leapt into her heart. She'd looked down at the green eyes and the black hair that was doing its best to mimic a bird's nest. He looked too young, but maybe... He'd pushed up his round spectacles again, daring her to contradict him. She hadn't. She'd asked his name.

"Harry," he'd said. "Harry _Potter_." He'd stressed the surname. It had seemed important to him that Thea didn't confuse him with his cousin, understood that he was _different_. Thea had caught her breath. Then she'd smiled at him.

"Hello, then, Harry Potter. Nice to meet you." She'd smoothed his hair back from his forehead. It really did look like the kid had stuck his finger into an electrical socket. Then she'd seen a scar right in the middle of his forehead. It had looked like lightning. She'd frowned, but Harry had smiled at her, and caught her hand, desperate for the affection.

"Nice to meet you, too," he'd said.

But then his aunt and cousin had come out. The blonde kid- Dudley- had been stuffing his face with chocolate. It had been disgusting, but even so, he had been wailing at his mum because she hadn't gotten more. She'd been soothing him with those saccharine nicknames. She'd assured him that next time they'd get more! Twice as much! They'd almost rounded the corner before she had turned on her heel. "Well? Keep up boy!" she'd snapped at Harry. He'd let out a sigh more resigned and world-weary than any little three-year old should have had to sound and released Thea's hand.

And just as Thea had heard the laughs of her sisters coming back, he'd said, "I gotta go, Miss Ramora," slipped off the bench, and gone after his aunt and cousin.

Gin and Faith had complained she' d seemed absent the rest of the day. Thea thought she had done well to stay the night in Surrey after they'd left the shops. She looked up at the sky. The sun had dipped behind the skyline, and the sky was purpling into night. A single lone star twinkled beside the waning moon.

Thea heard shoes scraping in the gravel, and looked up to see Remus. "Is something wrong?" he asked. "Your note said we needed to talk. Urgently."

He sat beside her. Thea looked at him. He was losing weight again, and his clothes were looking shabbier. His face was lined with too little sleep and too much worry. She looked down at her hands in her lap.

"I'm not so sure you'll want to hear it," she confessed. "I have news. About Harry. Harry Potter." Her words came out stilted and awkward.

Remus focused on her with alarming intensity. He seized her hand. "How could you? What do you know? Dumbledore hasn't told anyone where he's living!"

Thea let him squeeze her hand, even though his pressure was hurting her. He wouldn't like what she had to say. "I saw him. He lives in Surrey, Remus. With his Aunt Petunia, right? And cousin Dudley?"

Remus' eyes intensified even more, if possible. "Petunia had a kid named Dudley, yes. He's about the same age as Harry. You saw them?"

"They were at the shops at the same time as me and my sisters," Thea murmured. "I wasn't looking for him. It was pure coincidence. I never would've known if he hadn't sat on my bench and talked to me…" She took in a breath. Then, quietly, she related to Remus the particulars of her encounter with Harry Potter.

"How did he look?" Remus asked her at the end of her sadly short story.

"He's smaller than he ought to be, even if he has only just turned three," Thea said. "It was worse, though, because she'd decked him out in what had to be Dudley's clothes, and he's _bigger_ than he ought to be. He was drowning in that outfit, Remus. His glasses were too big for him, too. They kept slipping down his nose. He was pale, with black hair." She snorted. "That hair went every which way. Seriously. It defied gravity. Messiest hair I've ever seen, by far. It was adorable. And his eyes, Remus!" Thea drew in a breath. "They were so _serious, _so _old, _and as green as grass, I swear."

She was quiet a moment. Remus was hanging on her every word. "He had a scar, too," she remembered. "On his forehead. Looked like a bolt of lightning."

Remus let out a shuddering sigh. "That…that scar. It's where Voldemort's curse hit him…the night James and Lily…you know. It should've killed him. It killed them. But it didn't. And you met him yesterday." He shook his head in wonder.

Thea frowned. "That woman- she _hates_ him, Remus. I heard her speak maybe six words to him, but I could tell that much. And he _knows. _That _three year old kid_ knows that all the family he has left in the world hates him. Can't you- can't you go to Dumbledore? Harry's parents loved and trusted you. You loved them. You love him, still. I know you think about him all the time. I talked to Harry for maybe three minutes and already I can tell he's smart and brave and good. He deserves so much better. You'd take good care of him! I know you would!"

Remus squeezed Thea's hand again, so tightly she almost cried out. But he didn't look at her. "Harry shouldn't be with Petunia Dursley," he said, and his voice was so low that as close as Thea was to him, she had to lean in to hear. "James and Lily knew they might die, you know," he said, a little louder. "All of us that fought did. But aside from Alastor Moody, Minerva McGonagall, and Albus Dumbledore himself, James and Lily Potter were the best soldiers we had. They faced Voldemort himself three times and escaped each time. When they had Harry, when the prophecy was made, they came to us. They made plans." He laughed bitterly. "Sirius Black was Harry's godfather. He was to take care of Harry if anything happened to James and Lily, and Professor Dumbledore was to handle all the legal details."

He shrugged. "Lily told me, though, she _told_ me, that she _never_ wanted Harry to grow up with Petunia Dursley and her husband. She said I was to make sure that Sirius was always there to look after Harry, if ever they weren't. I was always supposed to be the responsible one, keeping James and Sirius out of trouble." He looked straight at Thea. She froze. "I was a failure at it in school when I was prefect. I was a failure at it during the war when Sirius betrayed us and I didn't see the signs, and I'm a failure at it now, Thea. James and Lily never really understood that a _werewolf_ can't be responsible for much of anything." He laughed. "Albus Dumbledore did, when I approached him about it two years ago. Or at least, he understood that the Ministry would."

Self-loathing and guilt stood out plain on every line of Remus' face. Thea stared at him. "Bull," she said after a moment. "Bull! Good Lord, but you actually believe it, don't you? _That's _your problem, right there! It's not that you're a werewolf and a monster and dangerous and can't do anything right. It's that you let people get to you with that _crap _and never stand up and _do_ anything to change it! Look, we could've been friends so much faster if you'd just gotten it through your head that I wasn't going to push you away. If you'd just spoken _up_ once you decided you liked me, I'd be dating you and not Rhys right now and I wouldn't have been worried when I left my note that you wouldn't come."

Remus opened his mouth to object, but Thea cut him off.

"No, _you_ shut up, Lupin! You're a _good man_, okay? You're clever and funny and gentle and kind. More than that, you're _amazingly_ strong and brave to have come through eighteen years of crippling illness, an entire world of idiots against you, a _war, _and the tragedies you've seen. James and Lily and Peter loved you. Dumbledore respects you. So does Mr Tidwell, and Ms Austin, and everyone who takes the trouble to _really_ get to know you. You are _not_ a failure. You are _not_ a monster. I wouldn't love you if you were, and don't tell me for one second that you wouldn't be as different from Petunia for Harry Potter as the blue sky and a garden in June is different from _hell_!"

Thea glared at Remus, breathing heavily. He stared at her for a long moment. Then, slowly, he brought up the hand he'd been holding all this time and kissed it. "You are so, so much better than I deserve, Thea Ramora," he said.

Thea jerked her hand away. "There you go _again_!" she cried. She punched his shoulder and turned away. "You're an idiot, Remus Lupin," she growled. She sobbed once in frustration, and then swallowed and dragged her hand across her eyes furiously. Then she turned back and took his hand again.

"Remus- if I could only, just for a second, show you what _I _see when I look at you. Show you what they must have seen. What we all see. I think…I think it'd do you more good than anything else."

Remus shook his head in admiration. "If I could only show you what I see right now," he replied. Carefully, he wrapped his arm around Thea. At first, she struggled, but then she relaxed into his hold. "It doesn't matter what you see in me, Thea. I could be the best person in the world, and believe me I'm _not, _and as long as I was still a werewolf it wouldn't be safe for me to raise Harry Potter, even if the Ministry of Magic would let me. No- hush. Listen. Whatever I may be for twenty-seven days, on the twenty-eighth I _am _a monster. With a kid around, with _anyone_ around, I could do everything right, take every precaution, but all it would take would be a _second _to destroy everything. Do you understand? And I can't take that second's risk. Now that it's been a couple years I realise that. Dumbledore was right. Harry may not be happy where he is, but he's safe. And eventually, he'll get his Hogwarts letter, and he'll come back to us, and we can take care of him again. Believe me, everyone will be queuing up to do just that. And until then…" he took in a breath. "I have a dear friend whose family lives in Surrey. And I know that from now on, she'll be looking around every corner, every chance she can, to look out for Harry Potter."

Thea sat up. "I may never see him again," she said.

"But you'll look anyway," Remus said. "That's _your_ problem, you know. You're always trying to fix things, look out for people. Even when you can't. Often it's me, but not always. I've seen you do the same for your sisters, for Sarah at work, for Katherine Austin. You let them drain you dry, Thea, and if anyone ever mentions it…"

Thea was trying to twist her hand out of his grasp. She wouldn't look at him. "I don't want to talk about it, Remus," she muttered.

"You do that," Remus sighed.

Thea relaxed then. She laughed humourlessly. "Yeah, well, sounds like we've got each other figured out, don't we? And nothing's going to change, is it?" She looked at Remus inquisitively.

He stood and pulled her to her feet. "I don't know about that," he said. "You're talking to me again. Yelling, more like. But you haven't done that for about three weeks."

Thea looked at him sharply. "What? You were the one not talking to me! I didn't want to make you any more uncomfortable than you already were and mention it…"

Remus laughed. "I didn't want to freak _you_ out. I wanted to make sure you were alright. But things are good here. What do you say we stop by Mel's before I take you home?"

They started walking away from the park. "Only if you let me pay for us," Thea said. "You're still out of work, and I got paid this week."

"I'm not out of work," Remus said. "I got a job at a broom factory a few days ago."

Thea turned and beamed at Remus. "Remus! That's wonderful news! Congratulations!"

"We'll buy our own suppers, how about that?" Remus said.

Thea nodded. "I'll get you chocolate cake afterwards, though. To celebrate."

"You spoil me," Remus said.

"You don't spoil yourself enough."

Remus bumped her shoulder with his. "So. Other than encounters with Harry Potter, how did your visit home go?" His voice was slightly strained, but Thea could tell he really wanted to know.

She rolled her eyes expressively. "I'm wildly jealous of Gin, Remus. More than ever before. America! Come on! I mean, I know it's a little school in _Texas. _No one's heard of it, but still! That lucky little…" she cut off. "You know what? Next holiday I get, I'm going myself. Forget Ginnifer. I'm gonna travel the world!"

"Far be it from me to doubt you," Remus laughed. "You said you'd have adventures. I'll send you an owl over Christmas and you can write back and tell me all about them."

Thea opened her mouth, and then looked at him. "You could do that? It wouldn't matter that I'm not a witch?"

Remus shrugged. "Sure. Archimedes goes where I tell him. Muggle or wizardly residence."

Thea snorted. "You could start sending him with your notes," she said. "The neighbours ask about our post-its."

Remus frowned. "You know, I hadn't thought of that," he murmured. "I should, shouldn't I? By the way, ridiculous of you thinking I wouldn't come tonight. If you need me, Thea, I'm there, okay?"

They walked the streets of London, and though Thea still worried about Harry Potter, and about the day she still thought Remus disappear, she felt a little better. "I should get that through my head, shouldn't I?"

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><p><strong>AN: So I got blocked. You could probably guess that, judging by the three month gap between updates. I ran into a brick wall right in the middle of the story I had and the epilogue, and needed it to turn into a hallway. Unfortunately, I'm not a witch and was without a magic wand and incantation. So I had to call the construction crew of my mind in to make the changes I needed, and it took a while. A long while. I am very, very sorry. **

**For all that, I'm happy at what came out, eventually. This chapter strikes at the very heart of the Thea-Remus relationship, and at the heart of who Remus is as a character, too, I think. I've also laid some more groundwork for the transition to Thea and Remus' adult (read: canon; separate) lives. **

**If you're still reading, I hope you're not too angry with me. Please leave a review and tell me what you think!**

**God Bless,**

**LMSharp **


	17. Give and Take

**Disclaimer: The prefix "dis-" in the English language, along with "un-" and "non-" and a few others I can't think of right now, means "not", when placed in front of a word. So, using your super-duper reading in context skills, figure out what it means.**

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><p>Give and Take<p>

_"You're not in this, Thea- girl," he'd said sadly. "Not like I am, not even a year on." _

_ "Rhys, don't," she'd pleaded. "I love you. I do. We have fun, don't we?" _

_ "You don't get it!" he'd snapped, throwing his hands up with all the frustration he'd been penning up for months. "I don't want to just have fun. I want to live life with you. You're…you're everything I ever wanted for myself, Thea. But I don't think you're even looking for that in me. I don't think you're looking for that in anyone."_

_ "Looking for what? Someone to live my life with? What are you talking about? Like…like marriage, or something?" She'd frozen, staring at him. It was exactly what he'd meant, but it was the first time he'd ever mentioned it. She'd known the past couple of months that he'd been unhappy, that somehow they'd been on different pages. She hadn't had any idea how different. Apparently he had._

_ He'd stared at her for a long time. Then his jaw had set just as his eyes had gone more tired and sadder than she'd ever seen them. He'd turned away. "I'm wasting my time, Thea, aren't I?" He'd sighed. "This isn't fair to you, and it's not fair to me. I'll see myself out." He'd started to walk away, but had stopped at the door. "I do love you. I always will, and I hope you find what you are looking for."_

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><p>The words still rang in Thea's head a week later. She hadn't had any idea when she'd said to Rhys on Tuesday that she wouldn't be able to hang around his place on Halloween to help pass out candy to the kids and to go trick-or-treating with his little niece and nephew that it'd bring about the end of a year-long relationship. She'd thought he'd understand, like he always did. But he hadn't. Not this time.<p>

It wasn't like she hadn't wanted to go. Terence and Elaine had to be some of the cutest kids ever, and Rhys' brother Owen and his wife Gwyn were both very nice. Come to think of it, she couldn't remember quite why she'd turned Rhys down in the first place. It wasn't like kids were going to come trick-or-treating at her flat. She'd had a reason. She could remember that much. She just couldn't recall what it was, precisely. Whatever it was, it hadn't been worth Rhys.

Thea glared at the refrigerator. She wanted ice cream. Or biscuits. Whatever. Comfort food. But her cupboard remained stubbornly empty. And she was disinclined to move from her nest on the sofa, brush out her hair- in a wilder disarray than was usual even for her- put on clothes more suitable than her ratty shorts and oversized holey sweater, and go to the shop. So instead, she pulled her knees up under her on the sofa and drew the throw blanket around her more tightly. She closed her eyes and let out a long, shuddering sigh.

She'd have to be charming, too, at her November first appointment with Janine Biggs. There it was on the memo pad on the fridge spelled out in black block letters with a smiley face beneath. She'd finished her collection of short stories for children and nonsense essays last month. Rhys and Sarah had helped her edit it. She was pitching it to the publisher tomorrow, with a few rough charcoal illustrations she'd done herself. She didn't know how she'd manage to smile and pretend everything was fine and she didn't feel like an enormous, useless, failure.

Thea bit her lip and squeezed her stinging eyes still more tightly shut. She'd sworn on Friday that she wouldn't cry another tear over Rhys Davison and her own colossal stupidity. She grabbed at her copy of Dumas' The Count of Monte Cristo and opened it wildly to somewhere in the middle, ready to immerse herself in grotesque, disproportionate revenge and intrigue and force her own problems into a little, tiny, dark corner of her mind, beyond consciousness. At least until after the appointment tomorrow.

There was a knock on the door. Thea growled. Was some kid stupid enough not to know that the flat-renters offered a lousy candy haul? She looked at herself in the glass over the entryway coat rack. She bared her teeth in a humourless grin. She certainly looked scary, she thought. She restrained a childish impulse to cackle and cry "Dead men tell no tales! Leave now if you wish to see the sunrise, my pet!" Instead, she threw aside her throw and stomped (as well as she could stomp in bare feet) to the door. She looked out through the peep-hole.

She groaned to see Remus on the other side. She remembered now- why it was so important that she not be busy on Halloween. She'd hoped that Remus would go to his friends in the Order tonight- on the two-year anniversary of James' and Lily's deaths. She'd hoped that he would have healed enough not to have to seek her out. But she hadn't been sure, and she'd wanted to be available, just in case. Anniversaries were always bad. Even more than ten years after the fact, she still had trouble mid-February. Remus' issues still weren't worth Rhys. Or at least, Thea reflected, with a twinge of regret for the uncharitable thought, it felt like that just now.

Nevertheless, she opened the door. "Remus," she said. "Happy Halloween." The words were full of bitter irony. She stepped aside. "You can come in, if you want."

"Thea," Remus said in surprise, stepping in. "You look…"

"I look like a troll," Thea said, shutting the door.

Remus snorted. "You've never seen one, then. You look nothing like a troll and never could. A hag…maybe." His eyes moved over Thea's dirty hair and rumpled, holey clothes. They flicked to the living room and took in the stack of used paper plates on the coffee table, the overflowing wastebasket of snotty tissues next to the sofa, and the abandoned throw blanket. Thea shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "Now's not really a…"

"Now's a perfect time," Remus cut her off. "And it looks like I should've been here a lot sooner." He crossed Thea's floor to her bedroom door and held it open. "Get dressed," he instructed her quietly. "Brush your hair and wash your face. I'll clean up a little out here, and when you get out you can tell me what's happened. Okay?"

Thea looked at him. She wasn't sure she wanted to tell Remus what had happened, under the circumstances. In fact, she was pretty certain she just wanted him to leave. But though his expression was mild, there was a certain set to his jaw that suggested that he was going to be stubborn about this. And there was no point in denying that she was upset, or that she would feel much better if she followed his very sensible instructions. So, without another word, she walked past him into her bedroom and shut the door to do as he said.

Five minutes later, Thea was feeling much better. She checked her appearance in the mirror as she finished tying off her thick plait. There were still shadows under her eyes. She was still pale. But she didn't look like death warmed over, at least, and she felt much less vulnerable in a fresh jumper and blue jeans. She thought about it a moment, and then grabbed an old green hat she'd had since she was a kid from her dresser and shoved it on her head. It looked a little silly, but it made her feel better.

She left her bedroom with her chin held high. "Well, then. Interrogate at will. Remus?"

"In here," he called from the kitchen. Thea walked over and plopped down in a chair at the table. From this position, she surveyed the living room. The coffee table was clear. The throw blanket was folded and neatly draped over the arm of the sofa. And the wastebasket was empty and in its customary position next to the book shelf.

"Remus…you didn't have to…" she turned and stopped. Remus was prodding a sizzling piece of bacon in her frying pan. He caught her gaze, smiled for a moment at the hat, and then brandished the spatula in her direction.

"Shut up, Thea. D'you like having breakfast for dinner? Lily introduced me to the concept several years ago. It always gave her a feel for home, she said, and the delicious naughty sensation of doing something completely allowed at the wrong time. I don't completely understand it…"

"I do," Thea said. "Thanks."

"French toast and bacon all right?"

Thea sighed. "I can make it, Remus. You don't have to…"

Remus' mouth quirked in actual annoyance, and he held up a hand. "Thea. Shut up," he said again. "It's your food, anyway, if that makes you feel any better."

It was irrational, but it did make Thea feel better. She sighed.

"So?" Remus said.

"So I'm not at Rhys' tonight with his brother, sister-and-law, nephew and niece, Remus, and I don't think I'll ever see them again. So…so I got dumped." She snorted. "New experience. An adventure, if you will. Can't say it's one I'm enjoying. Or that I'm taking it well. But that's sort of obvious, isn't it?"

Something creaked, and Thea looked up to see that Remus had actually bent the handle of her frying pan with the force of his grip. His jaw was set, and his eyes were cold. "Remus?" she said.

"That moron," Remus spat. "That son of a -"he broke off, and began doling out the food onto plates he had ready. Clenched around the spatula, his knuckles were white.

Thea winced. "No, Remus, he's not. Don't say that. It's actually all my fault. That's the worst of it, really." She accepted the plate Remus offered her with a nod.

"How is it your fault when he dumped you?" Remus demanded in a tight voice.

Thea bit off some French toast, enjoying the powdered sugar Remus had lavishly sprinkled on top, and she looked at her plate. "This is really good," she said. "Thanks." She kicked at the table leg and wouldn't look at him.

"You're welcome," Remus said. "Tell me why this is your fault, Thea, and why I oughtn't go find him and…" he broke off.

Thea looked up. Remus' eyes were flashing, but his voice was almost too light. It was strange, she thought. She forgot sometimes that her gentle, soft-spoken friend turned into a vicious beast once a month, that he'd fought in a war, and probably had killed people. Looking at his face now, she remembered, and shivered. "Remus, he didn't do anything wrong," she said, wanting to protect her ex-boyfriend. "He wanted more than I could give." She was quiet for a moment, before she realised how her words could be misconstrued. Indeed, Remus' knuckles had gone white he was gripping the table so hard.

Thea grabbed his hand. "No, no, not like that. He never pushed me to…do…anything I didn't want to do. It's just…he loved me," she said finally. "I mean, he really loved me. He told me, last week—that's when it happened—that he wanted to spend his life with me. Like, marriage, I guess. Or something. And…he thought I didn't want that. So…he left." She shrugged. "The end."

Remus turned his hand over so he was holding hers. As Thea ate more of the breakfast-dinner he had made her he was silent a moment. "And you didn't…want that? You didn't want more?"

Thea took her hand back and scooted her chair back a little. "I don't know," she admitted finally. "I never thought about it before he brought it up. I mean, I'm only twenty-one years old! I've got stuff to do! Rhys just sort of happened. I loved him—I still do, but more? It just wasn't part of the plan." She shoved her fork away and looked at him suddenly. "Is that wrong, Remus? It was, wasn't it? I took him for granted, didn't think about what he wanted. It was selfish, wasn't it?"

Remus regarded her. "You can't commit to someone before you're ready just because it's what they want," he said after a long moment. "If you'd never thought about more than dating him, even if you did love him, it would have been wrong and selfish for you to stay tied down to a man you weren't committed to. Wrong for you to stay in a relationship you weren't certain about and maybe give up some of your plans and dreams. Wrong for him to be with a woman that wasn't as sure about him as he was about her. Bad for both of you."

"So…he was right? I thought he'd been unhappy for a while, but I never dreamed…never mind. He'll be fine. He'll find some other girl before too long, and I've my appointment with Janine Biggs tomorrow. I'll be fine. I am fine. How are you, Remus? What's going on?" Thea forced a smile, stood up, grabbed her mostly empty plate and the frying pan and went over to the sink.

"You can't keep doing that, Thea," Remus said, rising and picking up a dishtowel. He stood ready to dry as she washed.

"Doing what? How's the broom factory? Have you been to see your friends lately? Emmeline? Professor Dumbledore? That Muggle-mad man you told me about once- Ambrose Weasley, was it?"

"Arthur," Remus corrected. "As a matter of fact they fired me on Tuesday- too much sick leave. At least they didn't find out this time. I did have tea with Mr. Tidwell on Monday, and Molly and Arthur are having me over to the Burrow for supper this Sunday. But that's not the point, Thea," he said, wiping the plate she handed him and putting it back up in the cupboard.

"You were fired again? Oh, Remus, what are you going to do? I know you don't like working in our world, but if it gets really bad, you know I could talk to the Fosters. They might be hiring…"

"That's the point," Remus sighed, brandishing the dishtowel at her. "Thea, you have got to let other people help you sometimes. Let me help you. You're always hovering around, sticking your nose into everybody's business, fixing this and that and being everybody's shoulder to cry on and friendly advice. Working extra, unpaid hours in the office. That loan for Erin last month that meant you ate just soup for a week. Me." Remus grimaced, not elaborating on this. Thea just scrubbed her frying pan, getting the bacon grease and bits of egg out of it. Her face was hot.

"But the minute you need help," Remus continued severely. "The minute you have any genuine problem or are out of sorts for any reason at all…"

"I'm out of sorts now," Thea interrupted him. "You bent my frying pan all out of shape."

She handed it to him and he impatiently bent the handle back to its original position. "You've been here all week, haven't you?" he said quietly. "You haven't called your family, haven't said anything to anyone at work, and haven't left a note for me."

"Remus—just…leave it, alright?" Thea said, turning off the tap and walking away from him to the living room. She sat on the sofa and drew the blanket about herself. "Besides, I figured you'd have enough to worry about this week. And I was right, too."

She heard him put up the frying pan up, and then he was there, sitting beside her on the sofa. "That doesn't matter, Thea," he said, almost angrily now. "So what? I lost my job. I lose my job all the time. So what? It's Halloween, and yes, I came looking for a friendly face tonight. That doesn't make me useless. You're hurting now, and I'm here for you. Friendship's two way street. Normally you give and give. Take a little, will you?"

Thea's eyes stung suddenly. "Why do you bother?" she mumbled.

Remus rolled his eyes up to the heavens. In one moment he'd enfolded her in his arms in a hug that felt more like a declaration of war than a comfort. Thea tensed a little, then relaxed into the embrace, surrendering. Remus released her, pushing her out to arm's length and looking right into her face. "There. Now tell me, right now, how are you feeling?"

"Hurt," Thea admitted in a low voice. "Confused. I miss him, and I wonder if I'd have known- if I'd have thought…Guilty. I wish I'd been able to…maybe I could've… "she stopped, and sighed. "I'm sorry he ended up hurt. He deserved better."

Remus shook his head. "That's not true," he said in a strange voice. He was silent for a moment, and then cleared his throat. "As for the rest, it'll get better in time. You'll go to your meeting tomorrow, and Ms. Biggs will love your collection. She'd be insane not too. You'll do the things you've yet to do, starting with publishing that first book. And one day," he cleared his throat again. "There'll be other guys," he said. "You'll go out and have fun and learn and grow, and one day you'll look around and you'll be ready for more."

Thea's eyes widened, and she regarded Remus. His cheeks were flushed, and he wouldn't look her in the eye anymore. He dropped her shoulders awkwardly. She realised abruptly that he wasn't over her, and with still more immediacy, that now she was free to do just what she liked about that and Remus was very aware of this. Her stomach flipped over uneasily. "Thank you, Remus," she said quietly. "And thanks for dinner. Or breakfast. Whatever. And for helping me clean up afterwards. I'm glad you're here. Grateful. But…"

Remus caught her tone. "I should go," he finished for her.

"I think so," Thea said, standing. "It's not that I don't appreciate it, and I…I will call my family about it. Maybe I'll visit them, next weekend. I think you're right, that I need somebody now."

Remus stood, too. He started walking towards the door, but stopped just before he got there. "I'm sorry," he said.

Thea sighed, and then she was across the room and in his arms. She hugged him, hard. "Don't be," she said. "I'll see you next week, yeah? Or the week after." She spoke the words into his jumper and there was something different about them, something uncertain and new. Because she couldn't love him tonight, not like she'd loved Rhys. She couldn't let him in and let him say all the things she thought he might want to. But she was free, and he was there, and he would continue to be there. And he needed to be loved, and really, so did she. So maybe not tonight, but maybe eventually.

He went still for a moment, and then carefully pulled back, searching her face. "Yeah," he said. "I'll see you then."

He turned then, but he looked back as Thea opened the door for him, and again as he started down the stairs. Thea stepped back inside her flat, and closed the door.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: My main problem with this chapter was the tone. See, one of my main characters is generally freaking out over something or another and pretty depressed. When Thea gets depressed as well, the story becomes hard to write. Especially when I haven't been on cloud nine myself, recently. So I'm not quite sure how this chapter came across. I tried to convey, a little more than previously, what some of her faults might be. But in the process, I fear Remus fell a bit out of character. **

**Furthermore, I don't quite know where to take the story from here. Well I do, most of one chapter ahead, but after that it could take a few different paths. You see, this was a plot innovation I came up with recently to highlight weakness in Thea and to further develop the friendship between her and Remus. But it opens up several different options that I never saw before I wrote it. **

**I do hope people are still reading this and that I haven't disappointed too much with this chapter. I hope, too, that I'll be able to determine whether the chapter after next should spin off into tragedy, or the more bittersweet ending I'd planned from the beginning. **

**God Bless,**

**LMSharp**


	18. No Good

**Disclaimer: Receiving no compensation for my original plot and character, because she's all tied up with someone else's (superior) plot and character. Long live J.K. Rowling! Even though Remus isn't long-lived at all.**

* * *

><p>No Good<p>

The cocoa was rather pointless, Thea thought, here somewhere in Texas where winter could hardly be called that at all. She looked down at the cup of steaming chocolate, and laughed a little. She looked out the window at the brown grass and blocky buildings and electric lights. It had been much prettier and much more exciting in New York, but it still wasn't so bad here.

It was Christmas Eve, 1983, and Thea Ramora was having her adventure in America. Well, technically she'd already had that. She wasn't so rich yet that she could afford to spend weeks traveling around like she'd wanted to, seeing national parks and Chicago and Washington D.C. and St. Louis and California. Her big vacation had amounted to a week in New York, and then a trip down to visit her sister Ginnifer, studying down here in Texas.

She'd be headed back in about a week. She smiled, and then sighed. It hadn't been as exciting as she'd hoped. Still, she'd had some fun. She'd done some shopping at some truly marvelous shops up in the Big Apple. She'd seen the Statue of Liberty. She'd gotten lost on the New York subway and slept overnight in an airport when her plane got delayed. And it was good to see Gin again after months, and her sister's little blonde, green-eyed roommate with the broad accent and the enormous smile was just as friendly and direct a girl as she could be. She'd driven Gin to the airport to pick up Thea two weeks ago, and for a while it had been the three of them in Kenzie and Gin's little apartment, playing board games, telling stories, and singing Christmas carols. But Kenzie had gone back home to Dallas last week, to be with her family, and now it was just Thea and Gin. They'd be going to the Robertsons for Christmas dinner tomorrow, this nice little family from a nearby church that had sort of adopted Gin.

Thea was nervous, even though Ginnifer had told her to relax. Here she was, twenty-one, graduated from college, a published writer, and still freaky in formal public settings. She fell to daydreaming, tracing designs on the windowpane in the steam that had collected from the hot chocolate. Now- if she could have Christmas dinner with a bunch of books! She imagined them, enormous, good-smelling, leather-bound things, with red-stockinged feet, waving their pages at her and bidding her to come inside for the meal.

She let her hand fall from the window and onto the wrinkled pages of the letter beside her. She smoothed them, and picked up the letter, though she had long since memorised its contents.

_December 9, 1983_

_Dear Thea-_

_How is America? I don't know where this letter will find you, New York or somewhere in Texas. I did tell Archimedes not to give it to you until you were alone. I didn't want to scare your sister or her friends._

_Archimedes wanted very much to take this letter to you, and he's very proud to be going so far, but I must tell you he's never been quite so far from home. He probably won't show it, but he'll be tired. You should probably let him rest a day or two with you before sending him back. Don't worry about feeding him. He'll beg for table scraps like he always does, the vagrant, but he's really quite capable of hunting for himself. And he knows to roost out of sight of Muggles other than you._

_Things are actually very good here. (Don't look so surprised- it does happen). Wimbleworth's Apothecary just hired me on. To keep track of stores and accounts- not to actually help in the front or make any potions at all. I never was any good at Potions. If they'd hired me for that, I might have been fired already- for the first time for just being woefully incompetent. Anyway, Mr. Wimbleworth is a good chap, if a trifle scatterbrained, and my other co-workers are nice enough, even if they don't know much about anything other than eels-eyes and how many turnings of the moon such-and-such takes to brew. And the pay is decent._

_I got the advance copy of your book in the mail yesterday. I think it was the first Muggle post I've gotten-other than those ever-breeding bills. It's on my coffee table right now, and Mr. Churchill is wondering if it's any good at all. I told him it wasn't. Just kidding, of course, Thea. Your stories are brilliant, as ever. I do, however, question the wisdom of your sending me a free copy. I've seen them all already, after all, and don't you only get three free copies to send to important people? Knowing you, you'll have sent them to me, your family, and to Sarah Scott. Oh, well. At least Sarah will see it gets proper reviews and advertisement._

_Write back, yeah? Tell me how your great American adventure is going. What have you seen? What have you done? And how is your sister?_

_Happy Christmas, Thea. I'll be there at the airport when you land on New Year's._

_-R. Lupin_

The letter had gotten to Thea the day before she left New York, and she had been taken aback by how homesick it, and Archimedes, had made her. She'd fed him and kept him quiet that day before attaching her reply to his leg. She'd told him to wait before flying off with it. She hoped he had understood.

Thea had never been very far away from home before this past week and a half, and so she had been surprised by how good it had been to receive news from London. She'd already gotten a phone call from her father and a brief note from Sarah telling her how things were in the office by the time Archimedes had arrived, but Remus' letter was different. His writing read like his conversation. She could almost hear him talking in it, and so she had kept it. He'd been such a fixture in her life for a long time.

There was a knock on the door, and Thea looked up. Ginnifer was standing there, her cheeks red from the wind and her brown hair all tumbled about her face. She had gone out for a soda she hadn't had in the flat, insisting that she had to have it, would die without it, and was quite willing to brave the crowds of panicky procrastinating gift-getters to get it. Thea had just as stubbornly declared that she was perfectly content and wouldn't wade through that mire to save her life. So Gin had gone out, and Thea had stayed.

Now Gin tossed aside her jacket carelessly. It landed on the floor amidst a bunch of other books and papers, and Thea smiled. Ginnifer had never been exactly tidy. She popped the top of her soda, and drank deeply. "Aaahh," she said. "That's the stuff. Well? Aren't you going to say something? Here I've braved crowds of murderous shoppers 'cause you heartlessly insisted on staying home. I might have died."

"If you had, I'd've been sure to send a card to your funeral," Thea said, shrugging and forcing back a smile.

Ginnifer's blue eyes twinkled. She sat across from Thea at the window seat and produced a candy bar, of the type Thea was particularly fond of, from behind her back. "Here, you horrible, ungrateful excuse for a sister. Happy Christmas Eve. Here's to us." She raised her soda mockingly at Thea.

Thea raised the cocoa, and obligingly opened the candy bar. "Thanks, Gin."

"What have you been doing all this time, anyway?" Gin asked. Then she went still. Her eyes had caught sight of the letter Thea had laid down beside her again. "I've seen that," she said slowly. "You've been reading that over and over since you got here."

She took another drink of her soda, then set it down on the windowsill and looked hard at Thea. "That's from him, isn't it?"

"Rhys?" Thea asked. "No, I haven't talked to him since…"

"Oh, shut up, not Rhys," Gin snapped with some impatience. "Remus Lupin. That bloke we've never seen and you won't bring over or tell us much about but you see all the time anyway and mention even more. That's a letter he sent you."

Thea blinked. "Er…yes, it's from him." She put her hand over it, hoping very much that Gin didn't ask to see it. Refusing would be awkward, but she couldn't very well share it. Ginnifer would think Remus insane at best.

"I don't want to look over your love letters, Thea," Ginnifer said with some disgust, seeing Thea's motion. "But God, he must have sent that the day after you left. Or maybe the day before."

"It's not a love letter," Thea said. "It's just…oh…" she trailed off.

Ginnifer eyed her closely again. Her mouth was tight. "No? Did you write back?"

"Of course, days ago, when I got it."

"And you didn't throw his letter away then, or put it up in your trunk," Ginnifer said. "It's still here, looking like it's been read a dozen times at least." She shifted uncomfortably, opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "Look, it's probably none of my business, Thay, but you're my sister, and I call it like I see it, hey?" She drank some more soda, a bit too quick. "Whatever's going on with you and this Remus bloke, it's no good for you. People have already been hurt because of it. You ought to tell him how you feel, or cut him loose, but don't leave things just…hanging."

Thea was immediately defensive. "He's my best friend, Gin. He told me once that he liked me, but it's been almost a year, and he hasn't said anything since and…"

"And you're in love with him." It wasn't a question. Ginnifer sighed. "Look, how often do you see this guy? Once a week, twice? For what, two years now? You hang out, you talk, you go tenpin bowling and plant flowers in the park together. You've told me that much. You go all Tiger-Thea whenever anyone so much as mentions him in the wrong tone of voice- don't glare at me, it's true!"

Thea downed the rest of her cocoa, ignoring the scalding liquid burning her tongue. She got up, took the letter, and went to the sink and started washing the mug. "You're the one that keeps leading on guys you're in love with, Gin, not me," she snapped. "And what do you mean he's no good for me? You don't even know him!"

"I know you never talk about his friends, and I know he's never with you when you're around yours," Ginnifer said calmly, though she'd gone pale. "I know you're terrified I'll take a look at that letter for some reason, even though it's apparently not a love letter. I know that though you've known him two years, though he's your best friend, me and Faith and dad have never met Remus Lupin, and you haven't told us anything about him either, other than that you went somewhere with him again, or he lost his job, or he was sick and couldn't make your Commencement." She stood up, and then added, "And I should know about leading people on, if I do it all the time."

She sighed. "Look, Thea, I don't want to fight. I'm just- we're worried, Faith and Dad and me. Seriously, what's the deep dark secret about Remus Lupin?"

Thea couldn't help it. She laughed, and shook out the dishcloth. "You have no idea," she said darkly. "But you're right that it's none of your business. And I can promise you this much, he's a good man. He'd never hurt me, and I won't let you, or anyone, say anything bad about him." She turned then, and squared off against her sister. "I don't know what you mean, 'people have already been hurt.'"

Ginnifer arched an eyebrow and crossed her arms. "Really, Thea? Really?"

Thea felt her traitorous face turning red.

"Yeah. Thought so," Ginnifer said.

Thea's eyes stung and she wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly cold. "That was my fault- with Rhys," she murmured. "Not Remus'."

"But you do think that when you felt you had stuff to do and didn't imagine being with someone all your life, what you really meant is that you hadn't imagined being with Rhys all your life," Ginnifer said.

Thea felt very small and very horrible. "I don't like to think about that," she said. "Really, he was too nice, Gin. I messed it all up. And…and I do miss him. A lot."

Ginnifer came over and squeezed Thea's shoulder. She took the mug and put it up in the cupboard. "I'm sure you do. But you are in love with Remus, aren't you?"

Thea followed her little sister back to the window seat. "I don't know," she admitted. "I do love him, but I'm not sure if I'm in love with him. When we met he was in a really rough place, and we couldn't have been anything even if either of us had said anything, though I did like him pretty early on. And then there was Rhys, and I loved him, too. I even thought I was in love with him, though I see now that I probably wasn't. And Remus was there through all of it, and he's better now, and just as wonderful as he's always been, and…" Thea shrugged.

Then she looked up at Ginnifer and stared at her sister steadily. "I care about him more than anyone," she told her. "Well…differently than anyone. When you or Faith gets hurt, I hurt, too. When Remus gets hurt, I get mad, Gin. I worry for him all the time. And when he smiles, I can't help smiling back. Like, I literally can't not smile. And I want to do whatever I can to make sure he keeps on smiling."

Ginnifer stared up at Thea with those big blue eyes of hers. Slowly, she nodded. "Well," she said. "That's it then, isn't it? You have to tell him. What you just told me."

"But what if he doesn't like me like that anymore?" Thea asked. "I mean, it's been a long time,"

Gin shook her head. "It doesn't matter, Thea. Look, you said it yourself, I know a thing or two about letting these things die off. And it's not good. It's just- sort of living halfway- what I do. Flirting. Not much more. And they give up, and they go away, and they get other girlfriends, and it just leaves you kind of dead, you know? And you don't want what you just said to go away. You don't want to stop caring, do you?"

Thea laughed again, mirthlessly. "You don't know what you're talking about," she said. Ginnifer had no idea, how every full moon Thea couldn't sleep, thinking how Remus was tearing himself to pieces. How he might not have had enough to eat this week, saving the money to make rent because he'd lost his job again. How every time they were together, she was scared that some witch or wizard might come tearing through the door and Obliviate her, and terrified of how alone Remus would be after that. Ginnifer could not have the tiniest inkling of the many, many times Thea had looked into the mirror and said the same thing to herself that Gin had said earlier. This is no good for me. No good for either of us.

Nevertheless, she shook her head. "But you're right. Despite all that, I don't want to stop caring. I don't think I can. And if…" she trailed off.

Ginnifer didn't ask about 'all that'. Instead, she squeezed Thea's shoulder again, grabbed her soda, and stood. "So tell him," she said again, gently. "And Thea—please, do take him around sometime to see dad and Faith. It'd make them both feel so much better, to meet the bloke you up and decided to give your heart and soul to." The words were light, but the tone beneath them was serious. She gave Thea one last smile, then went off to her bedroom. Thea looked at the clock. It was eleven.

She wasn't tired. Ginnifer's words were playing over and over again in her head. You have to tell him. They give up, they go away. She knew Remus would go away someday. It had to happen, one way or another. But Gin had a point, too. If he left while things were in this strange halfway state, it would just about kill her.

Because she hadn't been totally honest with Ginnifer. It was true, that Remus hadn't said anything since that night in February where he admitted that he had feelings for her. But, especially lately, there had been that unresolved sort of understanding between them, charged with potential. Thea thought that all she would have to do, to change everything, was to break the mutual silence they maintained on the subject and say the word.

But what would she say? What would she tell Remus, if she told him anything? She couldn't say that her feelings had changed towards him, because they hadn't. From perhaps the second time he had come into Mel's, and stayed after, almost exactly two years ago, now, things had changed for Thea. She realised now that it had always been a narrow road she walked with Remus Lupin, shadowy and twilit and lonely, so that she hadn't been able to see beyond his face to the point where she had left 'just friendship' far behind and gone into something far stronger and deeper and more frightening. And Gin was right, it wasn't healthy, to want so strongly to love and protect and make happy, the way she'd wanted to do for Remus almost from the start. But Ginnifer was wrong, too, because it was good, and it was right.

Thea shivered. That was it, then, wasn't it? Like Gin had said. It didn't matter at this point, how or when things would come to an end. It didn't matter that she'd been blind and stupid, or that she was incredibly afraid. Because she didn't have to make a jump now, not really. She'd already made it. Somehow, sometime, without her knowledge or consent, her soul had flown over to Remus Lupin as naturally as a homing pigeon flies to its nest, even if the nest has been broken and burned and the pigeon's not near big enough, strong enough, and smart enough to fix it. She was in trouble, sure enough. But the comfort of it was that she had been in trouble for a very long time. And all that remained to do- admitting it to Remus and determining with him what they were to do about it- would be a small task in comparison.

At that thought, an odd peace and joy stole over Thea. It was rather, she thought, laughing, like fretting and worrying over a test back at university, then sitting down to take it, when the calm set in. Pass or fail, the thing was done now. She grabbed her letter.

Happy Christmas, Thea. I'll be there at the airport when you land on New Year's.

She looked at the clock. Midnight. Out the window, incredibly, the wind had blown in a cloud from nowhere and it had begun to snow a little. It wouldn't stick. Thea knew that. It hadn't been cold enough today. But it was snowing nonetheless. Snowing on Christmas, as it ought. She smiled.

"Happy Christmas, Remus," she murmured to herself. "I'll see you on New Year's. I'm looking forward to it. I've got something to tell you."

Standing to go off to bed, Thea began to hum.

* * *

><p>1 Week Later<p>

It had been hours, and Thea was still sitting in the London Airport. She'd looked at the gate, at bag claim, at three separate service desks, and she was beginning to realise that Remus was not here. Full moon had been two weeks ago. Something had happened.

At last, Thea grabbed her trunk and got on the bus heading towards their neighborhood. She got off, not on her street, but on his. But when she climbed the stairs and knocked, no one was there. She looked around. The worn out brown Welcome mat was gone from Remus' step, and papers and cigarette butts and other refuse littered the walkway. The window was dark and grimy, like no one had lived there for months. And on it was a red sign. 'To Let: See Superintendent'.

Thea's lip quivered. Her arm ached from carrying her trunk. Slowly, she walked home alone, pulling her coat tighter about herself. After a week in Texas, the cold of her own hometown caught her by surprise. Her booted feet slushed in the snow.

She had been going to tell him. What had happened to Remus? Where was he? Dazed and distracted, Thea made her way to her own flat. And when she saw the several folded sheets of paper taped to her front door, rippled and yellowed from the moisture of last week's rain, she didn't have to open them. She knew.

* * *

><p>Feeling empty and grey, Thea tossed her trunk on the couch unopened. Sarah had been feeding her fish, she noticed that Larry's food supply was several weeks the lighter, and his bowl was clean. There were a few parcels on the coffee table, presents from her coworkers, no doubt. But Thea passed them by. She sank down at the kitchen table, and opened the crinkled sheets of paper, not really caring to read how Remus had phrased his farewell, but feeling an obligation to read it, nonetheless.<p>

_ Thea—_

_ I'd sworn to myself never to break a promise I made to you after that party I missed at Mel's last year, before you knew I was a werewolf. But…oh, this is coming out all wrong. _

_ The long and the short of it is the bill passed at last, like we were afraid it might. Going into effect on New Year's, the Werewolf Registry at the Ministry of Magic is being made public to employers, and the Beast Division will take the right upon itself to sporadically check up on those werewolves that it considers to be an especial threat to the magical community when it pleases and without warning. I've had it made clear to me that I'm one of those the department operatives consider an especial threat. Or, rather, that the Umbridge woman has decided she'd quite like to wreak merry hell on my life in particular. _

_ It's too soon. I had hoped the werewolf sympathizers in the Ministry would hold out a little longer. I had hoped…but never mind about that. _

_ Don't worry about me, Thea. That seems rather useless to say, but really, please don't. Many employers will be too lazy to request a copy of the Registry before hiring, and I still don't have to make my status known upon application anywhere. And I still have my job at the Apothecary, for now. I'll manage like I always have, and I still have good friends. _

_ Unfortunately, for a time at least, we can't be friends like we have been. By the time you land and find this letter, I'll have taken my things and moved. I know you'd never willingly put me in danger, but my neighbors know you, and I'd rather not have questions asked. If they ever found you, if you were ever hurt because of the things I've told you, if you forgot me- I don't think I could take it. _

_ It's not fair, telling you like this. I would have much rather told you myself. You deserved that, and I'm so, so sorry. _

_I got your letter today. Archimedes was so proud of himself, bringing it back all the way from New York. He strutted just as if he were a peacock or a golden eagle, and not a common barn owl. I'm very put out with you, getting lost on your own in the subway in New York. Didn't you have the sense to get a map? And I'm sorry, too, that your flight to Texas was delayed. I hope you got there in the end and that you get safely back home on schedule. I miss you, too. And I'll miss you more than ever in the time to come. _

_I hope you'll forgive me, but I did read one of your short stories to Mr. Churchill. Believe it or not, he said that you had a way with words for a smart-mouthed young woman that would go around wearing trousers. I think he's really ferociously proud of you. And unjustly. I mean, what had he to do with your brilliance? _

_ Oh, Thea. There's so much I never said to you. I should have told you, even if nothing could have come of it. Well. Writing lines on a piece of paper seems the coward's way to say something, but it can't really be helped now. And I always was a coward, when it came to you. _

_ I don't think you really know, even now that you're a published author and a successful working woman, just how special you are. You know, perhaps a bit more than you should, exactly how clever you are. But you don't know, you really don't, how uniquely kind and accepting you are. There is a bravery and a tenacity about your compassion for others that is something that I have only experienced once before. It's a rare quality indeed, and one you couple with a quiet humour and a grace you extend to everyone you meet. You should know, too, that I have loved every song I have ever heard you sing. Even the very long, very rude ones you'd sing with those comic faces while we were walking home from the park at the top of your voice at midnight. _

_ You're also beautiful, even when you slouch and hide and try to fade into the background like you do. You shouldn't do that. You have so much to offer the world, and so many people are waiting for you to let them love you. I hope one day you do let people see you the way you see them. I hope one day you are able to open your heart and embark upon that great adventure of love. The man you do end up choosing will be blessed indeed. _

_ At times during our acquaintance, it's true that I was audacious enough to hope that for a while, at least, you might have chosen me. Especially lately…but never mind. I haven't been sensible. Believe me, I think it's better this way. You've been nothing but good for me, but I don't think I've been very good for you. And though I love you- there it is, Thea, I do- it never could have come to anything, if I'm being reasonable. _

_ You have been good for me, Thea. Remember that, okay? I'm not happy. I don't think werewolves are really supposed to be happy, actually, but I don't want to die anymore. You were right. I did when we met. But the war is over, and tomorrow, even though I'm moving and won't be able to meet you at the airport in five days, the sun will come up over the horizon. I'll keep moving forward. I'll make what friends I can where I may, and every evening, I'll count my blessings, and send Harry my thoughts. You taught me that much. And I don't think I'll ever stop owing you for that. _

_ This isn't goodbye forever, Thea. I'm not just up and disappearing on you. I'm still as much your friend in spirit as I ever was. I may even see you, from time to time, when you and the Ministry least expect it. And I promise, and this is a promise I will never break, that whenever you really need me, I will be there. No matter what. I'll be watching you, Thea Ramora, watching as you live, and conquer, and soar, and I'll be cheering all the way. I wish you only the best._

_ All My Love,_

_ Remus_

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><p>Thea sat at her kitchen table, with Remus' wrinkled letter open in front of her, curling up again, and she stared at the wall for a long time. Then, as the daylight of New Year's Day turned into dusk, she cried.<p>

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><p><strong>AN: Well. There it is. Remus is gone. Sort of. I hope this chapter was as sad as I meant it to be. Though Thea cried, I didn't. Are writers supposed to cry, when they tear out the hearts of their characters? …Maybe I'm a terrible person. **

**In any event, I'm not sure if this is the end. Because the story's not over. It's true that Remus and Thea never are best friends (or more) again. But they don't just stop. There's a couple of random meetings I see in my head, and quite a few more very important letters. Because it's not like the Ministry is monitoring Remus' correspondence. A werewolf can't bite someone through the mail. And there's a war, when Death Eaters are attacking Muggles and wizards are encouraged to cast spells of protection on their Muggle neighbors' dwellings. And far, far in the future, there's a woman with an orphaned grandson to raise, that due to ill-founded prejudice she perhaps regrets, doesn't know much about the father of her daughter's child. And so she goes through his papers, because someone has to do it, and she finds a whole collection of letters from a Muggle, a writer of children's stories and a few respected essays. **

**But where do I put this? In a few random chapters attached to the end of this work, which pretty much is complete? In a monstrous epilogue? Or in another story entirely, a sequel? I don't know. Any comments? Advice? **

**If you enjoyed the story, anyway, or perhaps if you didn't, leave a review at the bottom of the screen. I've worked very hard on this story, and I'd appreciate the effort. **

**God Bless,**

**LMSharp**


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